Let the Games Begin Again
by C. Lizzy
Summary: 30 years after the rebellion, the Capitol has taken over again, and their first act is the 76th Hunger Games. Katniss's worst nightmare comes true when both of her children are reaped. But that's only the begining of the nightmare waiting to unfold.
1. First reaping

"Welcome citizens of district 12!" Anita calls out, "This is a special year! Our first Hunger Games in thirty years I know you are all anxious to see who your tributes will be!"

People did this every year? Twenty-three kids died and one came out? My parents told me about it a few years ago. They were in it. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. The last victors. I never thought I would be the one in the reaping. I'm only fourteen though. My name won't get drawn. Neither will my twelve year old brother's.

"Ladies first!" Anita says all too excitedly. "Lily Mellark!"

Before I can react, a voice screams out, "NO!" I see my mother jumping over the ropes the spectators are behind. "NO! She can't go!" She yells. There is a flicker of recognition on Anita's face, and then a flash of pain. I don't even know what to do. How did she find my name out of thousands?

As I slowly make my way to the stage, trying to look brave, I see peacekeepers holding my mother back. She is screaming things I can't repeat at everyone and everything. This has to be a dream. I know I'm going to wake up soon. I know I will.

But I have no such luck.

"Well, isn't this exciting! The child of two victors! You must be a real fighter!" Anita says. I wish she was right.

"THIS IS RIGGED!" mom yells as the peacekeepers drag her away.

"Now for the boys!" Anita says. She's obviously trying to keep her professionalism unbroken. Before she reads the name on the paper, she gives a quick look of shock, but quickly wipes it off. It can't be…

"Orion Mellark!"

No, no, no. Not my brother. Not my brother. He can't fight. He can't die. Anyone but my brother.

Orion walks up onto the stage in tears. His gray eyes filled with pain and fear. Gasps of shock go through the crowd. They don't approve of us being chosen. I wonder what the Capitol thinks of this. They're going to love it. I hate them already.

"Let's have a round of applause for our tributes, Lily and Orion Mellark!" Anita exclaims, but no one claps. There is a look of shock and... anger on everyone's faces. "G-go on you two, shake hands!" Orion and I shake hands. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze. He smiles weakly, but it doesn't go to his eyes. I wonder if I will ever see his real smile again.

We are guided to the justice building. I've been there many times with my mom and dad for dinners and special events, but I never thought I'd be here to say goodbye to my family before I go to the very place that nearly killed them, and then left them with never ending nightmares and flashbacks. Will I be like that if I come home? I won't come home though. I'm getting Orion home.

Unfortunately, since my parents are my mentors, they can't visit me, but our good friend Haymitch is the first person to visit me. He may be a drunk, but he's like the Grandpa I'll never have.

"Lily, I want you to know that I have faith in you. You're strong like your mom, and you have a way with words like your dad. You could win this," says Haymitch

"No I can't, Haymitch, I'm-"

"I know your mom's taught you how to use a bow. I've seen you shoot. You're just as good as she is."

"Yeah, but what good is a bow against a sword?"

"You'd be surprised. A sword can only kill at close range; a bow can kill at a distance."

"I don't want to kill people. I can't kill people. It's hard enough for me to kill a squirrel."

"You'd better learn quick,"

"Time to go," a peacekeeper says. Haymitch gives me a quick hug, encasing me in the wretched smell of white liquor.

"Stay alive," he whispers, and walks out.

Next, my best friend Gina comes in. She sits down on the couch next to me and takes my hand.

"I'm so sorry, Lily. This never should've happened," she whispers.

"It's okay. It's just Orion…" I can't bear to say anymore.

"I know, I know."

"I'm not coming back, Gina. I'm getting Orion out. Somehow I'm getting him out."

"I would do the same if one of my brothers had to go with me."

"Time's up," a peacekeeper says. I give Gina a hug, and she walks out. I know I won't have any more visitors.

Anita finally comes to get me. She has a still-teary Orion with her. I take Orion's hand and hold it tightly. I want him to know that I love him and that I'm there for him.

As soon as we step on to the train, our parents run up to us and encase us in on big group hug. Mom is still crying, but dad is keeping it together. I wish we could stay like this forever. All of us together. The train starts to move, and I pull away to get my final glimpse of my home.

Normally, the first thing tributes do is meet their mentors, but we already know them better than anyone, so we just sit on the couch until it's time for dinner. We don't say much. Dad makes feeble attempts at conversation, but nobody feels like talking. Anita finally comes in for dinner after hours.

Dinner is unlike anything I've ever tasted. Our first course is lamb stew. My mom says that it was her favorite back when she was a tribute. Orion and I both eat every bite. Then, we get a little chicken filled with orange sauce. Again, absolutely delicious, and then we get dessert, which is a pot of chocolate with a ton of things to dip into it. We have to get two more pots of chocolate because Orion and I are eating tons of it. When they take the third pot away, I realize how stuffed I am. I feel like I'm going to throw up, but it was worth it.

"Time to watch the reapings!" Anita says in her typical cheery way. We all make our way to the couch, I sit next to mom and Orion sits next to dad. Dad is holding mom's hand tightly. This is probably just as hard, if not harder for them as it is for us.

The first reaping shown is District one. The tributes are both tough looking, but neither of their name's stick. Then district two. When the girl's name, Carmen Hawthorne, is called, mom gasps.

"You don't think that's Gale's daughter do you?" she asks in disbelief.

"Yes, I do," dad says. A tear rolls down mom's cheek.

"Who's Gale?" I ask.

"He was my best friend," mom whispers, still in disbelief. I can't help but wonder why she never brought up this Gale guy before. I don't bother to question her further though. It would only make it harder on her. I turn back to the reaping, which is now at district four.

All of the other reapings pass by quickly, and only a few tributes stick with me. Carmen, from two, a boy from seven who looks like he could crush someone's skull with a squeeze of his hand, a viscous looking girl from eight, and a small, dark-skinned girl from eleven.

"Now Claudius, were there any stand-outs for you?" a yellow-haired announcer, Caesar I think was his name, says.

"I think this will be an interesting year, Caesar. Obviously, we have the children of the victors of the 74th Hunger Games from twelve; it will be interesting to see how they fare. Also, a little known fact, Elaina, from district 11, had an aunt whom many people may remember from the 74th games. Yes, her aunt, though now deceased, was none other than Rue." Claudius says. Mom gasps and walks out of the room.

"Rue was that girl, her ally," I say. I remember mom telling me about how she sung to her as she died. She, along with my dead aunt Primrose, was the inspiration for my name. Primrose, Rue, Lily, they're all flowers.

"Yes, she was. I'll be back in a minute," dad says. He walks into their room to talk to mom.

"You two need to get to bed. You've got a big day tomorrow!" Anita says. She guides us to our rooms, and then goes to her own room. As soon as she is out of sight, Orion throws his arms around me. I feel his warm tears soaking into my shirt. What am I supposed to say? I can't tell him it's going to be okay, because it's not, saying I'm sorry means nothing, all I can do is hold him while he cries and try not to cry myself.

After about five minutes, Orion pulls away. I give him a kiss and send him into his room. Then I go into my room. I'm exhausted, but sleep never comes. After a while, I can't bear the confines of the bedroom and make my way to the couches where I find my mom with a box of tissues and a glass of what looks like milk.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask. She snaps her head around. I guess she didn't hear me come in.

"No," she says. I sit down next to her and she puts her arm around me and holds me tightly. I have to remind her that I have to breathe a few times.

The sound of a cup being set down is what breaks us apart. One of the servants is quietly walking away, and there's another glass of the white stuff. Mom hands it to me. It tastes delicious. It's warm, sweet, a little bit spicy, and very relaxing.

"I'm sorry, Lily," mom says.

"Don't be. Nothing you did could've prevented this," I say.

"I know, but I'm the one that should be staying strong for you, not the other way around."

"It's okay. I know this is just as hard for you as it is for me."

"How do you feel about this? Being in the games and all. Do you have any questions?"

"I do have one question. Tell me how you and dad both won again."

"Oh no, you are not going to pull something like I did with the berries. The last thing you need is the Capitol turning on you like they did me. I would rather have both of you die than have you go through what I did,"

"Maybe I could pull it off though. I mean, you and dad had to pretend to be in love to prove that you pulled out the berries as an act of love, not defiance. If I did it, people would see it as a girl trying to protect her brother."

"Whatever you do, do not try to pull something like I did. Please, Lily. Promise me you won't."

"Okay, okay, I won't."

"Are there any other things you want to know?"

"No, I'm getting sleepy. I'm going back to bed,"

Mom gives me a quick hug and a kiss, and sends me off to bed. Whatever was in that milk had a soothing effect, and it doesn't take long for sleep to find me.


	2. A Little Luxury

**Please review! It will get better once the games start, I promise, just keep reading!**

"Wake up! Wake up!" an overly cheery Anita shouts. What time is it? 7:30. Ugh. I somehow manage to roll out of bed and drag myself to the shower. All of the buttons on the control panel of the shower blur together, making it ten times harder to find the button to deliver a plain bar of soap.

By the time I get to breakfast, everyone else is already nearly finished eating. They don't mind waiting for me though. It was tasty, but given the current circumstances, forgettable. Anita informs us that we will be arriving in the Capitol in about a half an hour. This is where dad comes in. He could persuade a crowd to do anything he puts his mind to. One thing I inherited from him that Orion didn't is charm.

"Wave to the crowd, smile, look excited, pretend to be happy to see them," dad says.

"What if I'm not happy to see them?" Orion asks childishly.

"You have to pretend. If you have any desire to come… just do it, okay?" he says, and then he walks out of the room. I don't have to ask what he was going to say. He knows that only one of us will be coming home, and he should know that it's going to be Orion.

The thirty minutes it takes to get to the Capitol is excruciating. Every second feels like a year. Every minute, a century. At last, I see the top of a sickening pastel building. Slowly, more and more buildings take shape. Even at a distance, I can see the congregation of people by the tracks. At least I think they're people. They look like a living rainbow from where I am. Mom tells us to go ahead up to the window. When the people of the Capitol catch sight of us at the window, the break out in applause. They bounce up and down like little children in a sweets shop. Orion doesn't seem to be enjoying this act, so I do everything I can to work the crowd. I want to do everything I can to earn us as much sponsors as possible.

The train finally comes to a halt, and Anita guides Orion and I off the train. The crowd goes wild at the sight of us. Some people throw flowers, some blow kisses, others reach out in hope of getting to touch one of the tributes. Orion cringes away, but I bravely endure every second of it. I will not show fear or weakness.

When we step through the doors of the training center, I catch a glimpse of the young girl from eleven. Elaina was her name. Her honey brown eyes are wide with fear. My immediate instinct is to run to her. Tell her everything will be okay. Keep her safe. But I've seen what that feeling did to mom. I don't want to end up with that awful guilt she has to live with every day, but then again, I won't be living. Still, I can't shake that motherly instinct from my heart. The best I can do is mask it, suppress it until I forget it entirely, or die.

Anita shows us to the elevator. We quickly shoot up to the twelfth floor, where we will be staying. The apartment is beautiful; so unlike home. We had one of the nicest homes in the district, but it was nothing compared to this. Everything is bright pastel colors that somehow come together into a cohesive room, and our bedrooms are huge, too. Nothing like a little luxury before you die. We have a few hours to kill before dinner, so we spend it sitting on the couch like we did yesterday; savoring every last moment we have left as a family. The silence is starting to get uncomfortable, so I make an effort to start a conversation.

"Tell us about your stylists," I say.

"Oh, you would've loved Cinna. He was the one who got me the name 'The Girl on Fire'" Mom says.

"Will he be one of our stylists?" Orion asks.

"No, he… he died," Mom says.

"Oh… I'm sorry. What about yours, dad?" I ask.

"Portia was so nice. She was always in a good mood and was always there for me during hard times."

"Did she…" I don't need to finish my sentence for him to know my question.

"Yes, all of the stylists and prep teams, except Katniss's prep team, were," dad says, effectively ending our conversation. Thankfully, Anita calls us to dinner fairly soon afterward. We eat in silence, and then go to listen to the updates. Mom says that there never were any updates during their games, but there's a first time for everything

"Good evening folks! Welcome to your number one headquarters for all things Hunger Games!" Caesar says. "We have something new this year! Yes, folks we have the betting charts! Even before the opening ceremonies, we have two clear leaders on the betting chart, but we'll start on the bottom with number twenty-four, Elaina Hartman!" He says. I feel bad for her. I hope she'll move up on the chart just a little bit. "Number ten, Orion Mellark!" I give him a little high five. They still haven't called me. It must be a mistake. "Number five, Carmen Hawthorne! Number four, Bronwyn Derber!" I'm almost positive that's the deadly looking girl from eight. "Number two, Calden McBeth!" I think that's the tough-looking boy from seven. "And number one, with an overwhelming forty-five percent of the bets, Lily Mellark!" Everyone starts clapping. Did they seriously call my name? Am I on the top of the betting charts already?

"Congratulations, Lily!" Anita says.

"I'm so proud of you," Dad says.

"Hey, don't forget Orion!" I say in an attempt to draw attention away from me. "Number ten is great, too!"

"Of course it is sweetheart." Mom says. We redirect our attention to the two men on the screen.

"What do you think of our betting charts, Claudius?" Caesar says.

"I have to say, I'm not at all surprised by our charts. I mean, look at Miss Lily. She's got to be strong with her parents. And Calden, too. That boy is one to watch. I would expect to see Orion Mellark rise up on the charts for the same reason his sister is at the top. Also, I would expect to see Bronwyn Derber make her way to one of the top three positions." Claudius says

"There you have it, folks. That's all the time we have for tonight! Join us tomorrow for the opening ceremonies!" Caesar says. The screen goes black.

"Well, that was exciting!" Anita says. "Off to bed you two,"

Orion and I slowly walk toward our rooms. He seems too quiet. I know something has to be wrong.

"You okay?" I ask.

"It's not fair," he grumbles.

"What's not fair?"

"_You_ get to be on the top of the charts, the crowd loves _you_, _you _get all the attention, and what do I get? 'Number ten is great, too' 'Of course it is sweetheart' It's not fair!" he says angrily. He walks to his room and slams the door behind him. What can I say? He's right. I've been getting far more than my fair share of attention while he gets little compliments here and there. I'll agree, it isn't fair, but I hate to see him so upset about it. I knock on his door.

"Go away," he says. I hear him sniffle.

"Orion, please let me in," I plead.

"No. I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. But it's not my fault that people bet on me. It's not my fault I know how to work a crowd. It's not my fault that I get attention. But it's not fair to you. I've tried everything I can to draw attention away from me, but you have to try, too. You've got to learn how to make the crowd like you." I say. He still doesn't come out. "Don't make me come in there," Still, no answer, so I open the door and find a red eyed Orion sitting on the bed. I sit next to him and put my arm around him. "I'm sorry," I say.

"I don't want to die," he says.

"You're not going to die. I promise," I say.

"Yes I am."

"No, don't even say it. If you think like that, you will."

"I don't want either of us to die."

"I know, neither do I, but we're going to have to face the fact that one of us…" I can't say it. I'm starting to tear up, too. The only thing keeping the tears from spilling over is my will to stay strong for Orion. He finally falls asleep with his head in my lap. I want to go back to my room, but Orion looks so at peace that I can't bear to move him. I take a pillow from his bed and prop myself up with it, and fall asleep.


	3. Fire Again

**Please review! **

"Hi Lily! It's so good to meet you!" one of my prep team members, I think her name is Octavia, says.

"We know your mother very well," another one, Venia, says.

"Yes, we were her prep team!" the third, Flavius, says.

They continue to chatter on about how glad they are the Hunger Games have started again, and how nice it is to have the luxuries of the Capitol back, and about who said what to whom. I swear if they don't shut up, I'll kill them.

"This may sting a little," Octavia says. She proceeds to rip a piece of white cloth off of my leg, ripping off all the hair with it. Over and over and over. By the time they're done, my skin is bright red feels like it has a thousand needles sticking into it. They rub a cream over all of my body that helps the stinging considerably. Then they set to work on my hair. Shampoos, conditioners, creams, sprays, you name it, it's in my hair. To my relief, they don't cut it.

"Do you remember how to do the hair, Flavius?" Venia says.

"Of course!" Flavius exclaims. He sets to work on an intricate hair style while Venia does my makeup and Octavia does my nails.

"Your stylist will see you now!" Octavia says. All three of them leave the room. Minutes later, an older man wearing all black, gold eyeliner, and has multiple scars across his face.

"Hello, Lily, I'm Cinna," the man says.

"You were my mom's stylist. She said you were…"

"Dead? No, came pretty close, but I made it."

"Oh, okay. She'll be thrilled to see you."

"I know. Just don't tell her until we see each other, okay."

"Okay. Am I going to be on fire?"

"Got to keep tradition, don't we?"

He helps me into a long, strapless black dress, and high heeled black shoes. Then, he puts a black crown on my head.

"Where's the fire?" I ask.

"Ah, you'll see," he says.

He touches up my makeup and hair until he's satisfied, then he and I go to the car waiting to take us to the opening ceremonies.

"You look just like your mom you know," Cinna says.

"Thanks," I say.

We pull in to the open ceremonies just as Orion and his stylist do. I can see mom, dad, and Anita waiting at the end of a long line of chariots. As badly as I want to run over to them and show them my outfit and Cinna, but I don't think I could run in this dress. Walking will have to do.

When I get to where everyone is waiting, mom holds her arms out to me, and I go straight into them.

"You look beautiful," she whispers in my ear.

"Thanks," I say. Once she lets me go, I say, "You're going to love my stylist."

"If he or she's anything like…" she stops mid-sentence when she sees Cinna approaching. "Oh my goodness," she says.

"Surprise," Cinna says. They hug each other.

"How are you… here?" mom asks, still stunned.

"They just couldn't get rid of me," Cinna says.

"I should've known this was your design."

"This is only the start."

Cinna bend down and squeezes something on the very edge of my dress. The bottom of the dress begins to glow a faint red, then orange, then yellow, until I look like a real flame, but the top remains black. Then, he squeezes something on Orion's outfit, causing his pants and the bottom half of the cape he's wearing to glow in the same way my dress is. Cinna pulls out a stick thing and flicks a switch on it. A flame begins to burn on the end of it.

"You're not afraid of fire, are you, Lily?" he asks with a small smile.

"Nope," I say.

"Orion?" he asks.

"Um… No," Orion says nervously.

"Okay, here we go then."

Cinna holds the stick at the bottom of my dress until the fire catches. Only the bottom catches on fire, so it looks like I'm not only on fire, but I _am _fire. I watch as the bottom of Orion's cape catches on fire.

"Whoa," Orion says.

"This is amazing," I say.

"Look familiar, Katniss and Peeta?" Cinna says.

"Yes," mom says. "You two look so grown up." She wipes a tear from her eye.

"You are going to hold hands, right?" dad says.

"Of course, why wouldn't they?" Cinna says.

"Enough admiring, it's time to get into your chariots!" Anita exclaims. Orion and I hop into our chariot. Cinna tells us to hold hands, dad tells us to smile and wave, before he can say more, the black horses start to trot.

"Remember, you have to do what dad said. Smile and wave. The crowd will love you," I whisper to Orion.

"I will. You scared?" he says.

"Out of my mind," I say right as we enter the ceremonies. I turn on my most excited smile and wave to the crowd. They go wild. People clap, cheer, stomp their feet, chant our names, someone throws a rose straight into my hand. I blow a kiss the direction of the thrower.

The horses come to a stop, and the new President of Panem, President Kingsman, comes out to the podium.

"Welcome tributes!" he says, "Welcome to the seventy-sixth Hunger Games! Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!" the chariots begin to roll away. _Well that was a short speech, _I think. The crowd cheers louder than ever as we roll away.

When the doors shut, mom, dad, Anita, Cinna, and Deena, Orion's stylist, come rushing over.

"You were wonderful!" Deena says.

"The crowd loved you!" Anita says.

"Great job you two!" dad says.

"I knew you had it in you, Orion," mom says.

Some of the other tributes glare at us, others eye us with jealousy, the rest avoid looking our way. Only one, Elaina, looks at us with admiration, but her mentor turns her away and scolds her.

"Why don't we head back to the apartment?" Anita says.

It's pretty late and Orion's exhausted, so he heads straight to bed. I however, am not in the least bit tired, so I stay up with everyone else. After just a few minutes, everyone but mom heads to bed. I'm glad, because there's something I need to talk to her about.

"You know that little girl from eleven?" I say.

"Yeah, what about her?" she says.

"I want her as an ally."

She takes a deep breath, like she's about to start a long speech. "I can't tell you no, but I can tell you this, having an ally is hard. You know that if you plan to go home, they will have to die, and I've seen that girl and I know you want her for the same reason I wanted Rue. Because you want to protect her. It's that motherly instinct in you. When that little girl dies, it will stay with you forever and you will never forgive yourself for it. I am going to highly advise not having any ally other than Orion, that is, if you want him to be your ally."

I know she's right, that I want to protect the girl and that when she dies, it will be extremely painful. "Okay, I changed my mind. And yes, of course I want Orion to be my ally," I say.

"Good choice," she says. "You better head to bed. We've got an early day tomorrow," she gives me a kiss and sends me away.


	4. Game Changer

** Please review! **

"Rise and shine! It's training day!" Anita says. I drag myself to the bathroom where I realize I didn't wash my makeup off last night and my hair is still stuck in the intricate braided style from the opening ceremonies. No matter how hard I scrub my face, the makeup doesn't come off. My only choice is to take a shower. The control pad has at least fifty buttons. I press at least half of them before the water begins to flow, then at least ten more before I get shampoo. My hair slowly falls down, and streaks of purple fall from my face.

When I get out, I look like myself again. I quickly braid my hair and go to breakfast. I know I'm late, so I try to hurry.

"What took you so long?" Anita asks.

"Shower," I say. Mom and Dad nod, as if they need no further explanation.

"We were just discussing training," Mom says. "There isn't much to say, just a few rules that are good to follow. The most important thing is to hide your talents, so don't shoot the bow. Second thing, learn the survival skills. I got in trouble in the Quell because I didn't go to the edible plants station. Edible plants will give you an idea of what the arena will be like. I would also recommend learning how to use some other weapons so you don't get stuck without one. Third, stick together. That should be pretty self-explanatory. Do either of you have any questions?"

"Nope," I say.

"Me either," Orion says.

"One more thing, don't trust the careers, if there are any," Dad says.

"The who?" I ask.

"The careers typically come from districts one, two, and four, and they train their whole lives for the games, but since there's been no need for training, there may not be a career pack. If there is, don't trust them. I did, and I lost a leg."

"Ok, I'll watch out for them," I say

"Good, finish your breakfast and we'll head down to the training center," Dad says.

"Why? Training doesn't start for another hour," Orion says.

"Yeah, but we were on time our first year and we were still the last two to arrive," mom says.

"Oh, okay," Orion says. We quickly stuff down a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. Anita wants to walk us to the training center, but mom and dad insist on us going alone.

"To appear independent," mom explains. Her voice catches when she says independent.

Carmen, her district partner, and their escort get onto the elevator at the second floor. She looks at us in a funny way, like she's trying to decide whether or not to say something.

"Are you Katniss Everdeen's kids?" she finally asks.

"Yeah, are you Gale Hawthorne's daughter?" I ask.

"Yes. You know my dad and your mom were best friends,"

"I know. My mom was really upset because she had a feeling you were his kid."

"I'm sorry to hear that,"

"Now Carmen, you know you're not supposed to be interacting with other tributes," the escort says. Carmen nods and keeps her head down. She mouths the word 'sorry' to us. This is great. I just talked to the girl from one of the districts I'm not supposed to trust, but she doesn't look mean. She looks strong, but not mean. I think I could trust her. Maybe even as an ally.

The conversation I had with mom last night comes back to me. _You know that if you plan to go home, they will have to die. _I shake off the idea of having Carmen as an ally. The elevator comes to a stop, and we exit the elevator. Orion and I hang back a little bit, but not so far back that we can't see where Carmen and her escort are going.

We enter a huge room filled with targets, weapons, weights, and anything else that could help train a tribute. In the center, a lady stands on a raised circle. Carmen and her district partner walk to near where the lady is standing. After their escort leaves, Carmen turns to us.

"Sorry about Selma, she's a bit strange. Anyway, my dad talks about your mom a lot," she says.

"Really?" I say.

"Yeah, he told me that if I ever got to see your mom to tell her that he's sorry."

"Sorry? About what?"

"He said that he accidentally killed her sister."

"What? He killed aunt Prim?" Suddenly, I hate her father as much as I do the Capitol.

"It was during the rebellion. He said she was sent in as a medic and these things exploded. He didn't like to talk about it, but he said to tell your mom that he never in a million years meant to kill her sister and that he regrets more every day."

"I'll… uh… pass the message." Hearing the further explanation, I don't hate her dad anymore, in fact I feel bad for him, having to carry around that burden for the rest of his life.

"Thank you. It would mean a lot to him," We can't say anything more because the tributes from eight have arrived. Bronwyn eyes us with hatred. I'm going to avoid her at all costs. District eleven arrives and little Elaina stands right beside me. She looks so cute with her puffy little pig-tails. My thoughts of having her as an ally return, but I push them back down. I cannot protect her if I want Orion to go home.

The rest of the tributes come in, and the lady on the pedestal begins her speech.

"Welcome tributes," she says robotically, "I'm Maia, the head trainer. In two weeks, twenty-three of you will be dead. Who the one survivor is depends on ability to kill and knowledge of your surroundings. I know you are anxious to work with the weapons, but don't ignore the survival skills. Most of you will die from the elements. The most important rule you must abide by is there is no fighting with the other tributes. Save it for the arena. You are dismissed to training." Most of the tributes head to the weapons, but a few, like Orion and I hang around deciding where to go.

"You want to try edible plants?" Orion asks.

"Sure, no one else is there," I say.

Orion breezes through the test with ease. I however, struggle with it. The trainers tells me a thousand times which berries are safe to eat, which mushrooms will kill you before you can take five steps, which nuts are filling, but it just doesn't register.

"I trust Orion," I say eventually. We decide to try making shelters. Again, Orion excels and I do good to make an unstable lean-to. After I create a halfway decent shelter, we move on to traps, something I can actually do. The trainer shows me how to make a trap with a net that will drop on a tribute and leave them hopelessly entangled. Orion focuses on animal traps. It's hard for him to imagine hurting someone else. Not saying that it's easy for me, but with protecting him on my mind, I can overcome the sickening feeling making the tribute trap leaves me with.

By the time we're called to lunch, we've spent at least a little time on everything from knot tying to camouflage. Minus the fact that we're learning all this to kill people, it's been pretty fun. Lunch is a buffet. The choices are overwhelming. I don't want to eat too much, because I don't want it to make a reappearance, but by the time I've reached the end of the line, I have at least a sample of half the dishes. Orion and I choose a table in the corner of the room, so as not to draw to much attention to ourselves. That doesn't last long, though.

"Um… Lily," someone whispers. I snap my head up to see Carmen standing in front of our table. "I… I know this is going to sound weird, but will you and your brother be allies with me. I don't want to be alone in the arena, even though we'll have to split up eventually, and I think I could be of some real assistance," she says nervously. I have to think about this for a moment, but how could I say no?

"Okay," I say.

"Really? Oh, thank you so much," she says.

"Pull up a chair," I say like we're old friends. I know mom won't like us having allies, but it's not her choice. The thought of it coming down to just us three looms over me like a rain cloud. I try not to think about it too much, but the thought still remains. "So, what can you do?" I say.

"I can hunt and I can use a knife pretty well," Carmen says.

"Okay, that's good. We need someone who can get us some meat. Orion is good with edible plants, and I can use a bow and arrow. I'd say we're pretty set," I say. Carmen opens her mouth to say something, but we're called back to training before she can say it.

Orion, Carmen, and I stay at the survival skill stations for the remainder of the day. She and Orion are great with nearly all of it, but the only thing I've really been good at is trap setting. We agree that we need to practice with weapons tomorrow.

Just before we are dismissed, Maia calls us back to the center of the training center.

"At eight o'clock, there will be mandatory viewing for a message from President Kingsman. Thank you, you may leave."

We get back to the apartment for dinner. I'm not quite sure how to bring up the subject of Carmen. I know I have to tell them, but I'm not sure how.

"Did you have fun at training?" Anita asks.

"Aside from the fact that we will have to kill everyone else in the room, it was pretty fun," I say sarcastically.

"Anything interesting happen?" dad asks.

Now's my chance. "Actually, yes. We met Carmen, from two. Your friend's daughter."

"Go on," mom says.

"She said that her dad told her that if she ever got to talk to you to tell you he is sorry about killing your sister, that it was an accident, and he regrets doing it every day," I say.

"Oh… oh my…" Mom says. She wipes a tear from her eye.

"And… I guess it's a bad time to say that she asked us to be allies with her."

"What did you say to her?" dad asks.

"We… or I… said yes,"

"Well, it's your choice," dad says.

"I'd say that's a great choice of allies," Mom says.

"Why do you think she's a better ally than Elaina?" I ask accusingly.

"I… I… I just don't want you to have to go through the same pain I did when Rue died."

"How will it be different when Carmen dies?"

"Because… I don't know, okay? I can't tell you that you can't have allies, but I can advise you on who would be good ones."

"Look at the time! We have mandatory viewing to see!" Anita says. All of us, stylists and all, huddle onto the couch. We turn on the television to see the face of President Kingsman staring back at us.

"Good evening!" he says. "I have an important announcement. To make the games more difficult, today was the only day our tributes will be given to train. Tomorrow, at eight o'clock sharp, the individual sessions with the gamemakers will begin. Thank you." The screen goes black.

"Oh no…" I manage to say.

"That's ridiculous," Cinna says.

"Preposterous," Deena says.

"Please tell me you didn't do only survival skills or only weapons," dad says.

"We… only di survival skills," I say.

"This ruins everything!" Anita says.

"I can't use any weapons!" Orion says

"Let's hope they like survival skills," mom says.

"You'll do fine, Orion. The gamemakers will love you," Deena says.

"No, they'll love Lily. Just like everyone else!" Orion shouts. He starts to walk out of the room.

"Orion, don't think like that," mom says pleadingly.

"Well, it's true." Orion says. He keeps walking.

"Orion, come back, please," mom says. Orion's door slams.

"I'll go talk to him," I say.

I don't knock before I go into his room, he'll just ignore me. Instead, I quietly walk in and sit next to him on his bed.

"Orion, you've got to quit being so down on yourself. You're strong, smart, fast, and the people loved you at the opening ceremonies. If you put yourself down, you won't do well tomorrow," I say.

"I know, I know, it's just hard not to be down on myself when everyone pays attention to you," he says.

"People pay attention to you," I say.

"Not as much as you,"

"At least try to be positive. I know that's a lot to ask, but please try."

"I'll try,"

"You ready to go back?"

"No, I'm going to bed,"

"Okay,"

When I walk back into the room, everyone stops what they're doing and stares at me.

"How is he?" mom asks.

"He's fine, just jealous. Try to give him some more attention," I say.

"I think we can do that. Are you nervous about tomorrow?" mom says.

"A little. I'm more nervous for Orion though,"

"You'll both to fine. Go to sleep. You'll need a lot of energy for tomorrow," dad says.


	5. Glint of Rebellion

**Sorry this chapter is so long, but I couldn't figure out a good place to stop it! Please review!**

"Orion Mellark," an automated voice says. Orion stands up nervously.

"What do I do?" he asks in a panicked voice.

"You'll figure it out, good luck. You'll do fine," I say. He walks down the hall, leaving me alone in a dimly lit room. The silence in the room is overwhelming. I don't know if I can stand fifteen minutes of this.

"Lily Mellark," the voice says, making me jump. I walk down the hallway and into the training room. The gamemakers look my way. Some set down there drinks and cross their arms. I walk to the archery area and pick up a lightweight silver bow and a sharp silver arrow. The gamemakers watch carefully to see what I will do, if I will hit, if I will miss. I click the arrow on the string, pull it back, and aim it straight for the target.

The _whoosh _of the arrow flying through the air fills the otherwise silent room, and then the _twang _of the arrow hitting the target dead on. I look to the gamemakers, who nod approvingly. I load another arrow and it hits just above the first. A third hits just below. The gamemakers are starting to look bored, so I make the net trap. They don't seem impressed. I need something new, something they've never seen. There are beams on the ceiling, and there's a net attached, maybe I could…

I know what I'm going to do. I grab the bow and a few arrows and swiftly climb the net. Mom will be so proud to know that her tree climbing lessons paid off. When I reach the beams on the ceiling, I scoot to where I have a clear path to the archery targets. I pull the arrow back and send it flying for the target. I can't watch.

It seems like hours before the arrow finds the target, but when it does, it hits exactly where I aimed it. The gamemakers mumble with excitement. Hitting the target once could've been luck, so I fire again. It hits perfectly. Twice could be coincidence, so I fire one more time. Again, it hits.

"Thank, Miss Lily, you may leave," the head gamemaker says. I cautiously scoot across the beams and climb down the net. I neatly place the bow back in its place, and make my way back to the apartment, feeling confident in my performance.

The wait for the scores to be announced is excruciating, but it's finally time. I'm second guessing everything I did. Maybe they didn't really like me. Maybe I should've done more. Maybe, maybe, maybe. It's too late now.

"Good evening! It's time for the training scores! Will your favorite tribute get the highest score?" Caesar says.

"As you all know, the tributes received only one day of training. Will this affect the scores? Let's find out. Take it away, Caesar," Claudius says.

"We'll start with district one! Justice Ingrid, seven! Sapphire Young, six! From district two, Aaron Draver, four! Carmen Hawthorne, eight!"

"Quite, a mix, huh," Deena says.

"Yeah, typically one and two all get in the eight to ten range," Dad says.

Almost every district has this sort if mix. Only a few tributes pull above a seven. No one gets anything above a nine. Only three, Carmen, Bronwyn, and Calden gets a nine. They finally get to district twelve.

"Orion Mellark, seven!" Caesar says. We all clap for Orion, but he looks disappointed.

"Good job little bro," I say. He smiles a little bit.

"And finally, Lily Mellark, eleven!" I'm flooded with congratulations, and applause. The attention is nice, but I can see the hurt reflected in Orion's eyes. I feel awful for taking the attention away from him like I always manage to do.

"Just like her mother," dad says. Caesar starts to say something that looks important, so I tell everyone to refocus their attention to the screen.

"Don't turn your television off yet. We have yet another important announcement from President Kingsman!" Caesar says. The screen goes black for a moment, and then the face of President Kingsman appears.

"Good evening! We have another change to the games! The interviews will be tomorrow instead of the day after. Tributes will have only tonight for practice. Thank you, and goodnight," Kingsman says, and the screen goes black.

"They're really rushing things this year," dad says.

"Rushing it, or trying to make it harder?" mom says.

"Well, I guess we better get practicing," I say.

"Yeah, Orion, go with Dad, Lily, stay with me," mom says. Orion and dad walk out of the room, and Cinna, Deena, and Anita leave.

"We need to choose a direction for your interview, got any ideas?" mom says.

"What do you mean direction?"

"It's the way you act during your interview. Some ideas are nice, humble, funny, sexy, although I do not want you going that way, um… tough, intimidating, sly, anything along that line,"

"I know I can't do tough, intimidating, or sly. That leaves funny, humble, and nice. I'm not that funny, and I don't think I can do humble that well, so let's go with nice."

"Okay, I'll ask you some questions, you answer them. Keep your direction in mind."

We go through a whole list of possible questions. If I'm ready for the games, how I pulled an eleven in training, how I feel about the shorter prep time, if I like my stylists, if I was scared of being on fire. Then we get to a question that really trips me up.

"How do you like having your brother in the games with you?"

"Um… It's awful, knowing that one us is going to die. I hate it. I absolutely hate it."

"I think you're good, go to bed, Lily."

"Will I be on fire again Cinna?"

"Not exactly, I wanted to make you a mockingjay, but after what happened the last time I did that, there's no way I'm pulling that again." He shivers, as if remembering something he wants to forget. "Anyway, you're going to need some serious help getting it on." In his hand, he holds a massive bag. He pulls out dress that looks like it will swallow me whole. "Turn around, I want you to be surprised," he says. I turn around and he gently eases the dress onto my body. It's not as heavy as I thought it would be, thankfully.

"Can I turn around now?" I ask, eager to see my dress.

"Not yet, I want to do your hair and makeup first," he says.

Cinna doesn't put my hair up in an elaborate hair style as I expected, but he leaves it in its natural, wavy state. It takes him forever to do my makeup though. I know whatever he is doing must be spectacular.

"Now turn around," he says at last. I turn around as quickly as can. What I see in the mirror stuns me. I'm wearing a strapless black dress; I think I've heard this style called a ball gown before. The top has translucent red yellow and orange sequins all over it, and the bottom has a piece of red see-through fabric laid over it so you can still see the black underneath and under the black is red, yellow, and orange crinoline that makes the dress so poufy. It is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I can't believe I get to wear it.

"Oh, Cinna, this is perfect," I say.

"I'm glad you like it, we need to get you to the interviews. Don't want to be late." He says. He helps me walk to the car waiting for us. I'm a little nervous about the interviews. I know I'm going to do fine, but still, there's always that 'what if' factor.

The car pulls up to the curve and Cinna gets out walking me to the waiting area.

As soon as I walk into the room, everyone stops and stares at me, and I know that I will be a showstopper again. Bronwyn and Calden glare at me from the corners of the room where they are standing. For the first time, I notice how frightening they are. More frightening than their size knows that I am going to be their first target, and Orion will be their second.

Deena waves at us from across the room. I see Orion in an extremely handsome suit with a red bowtie. He looks really cute.

"Look at how handsome you are!" I say to him. He smiles for the first time since his name was called at the reaping. "You think I could borrow your suit sometime?"

"No, Lily! You're a girl!" he says. We both laugh. It feels good to hear his laugh again, especially since it may be the last time I will ever hear it.

"Oh, come on. I'll let you borrow my dress," I say in mock pleading.

"Ewe! No! I'm not wearing a dress!" he says.

"You two are quite a pair," Deena says.

A Capitol attendant comes in and tells us to line up. Cinna escorts me to the second to last spot in line, and Deena takes Orion to the last spot.

"Good luck," Cinna says.

"Remember to relax," Deena says. They walk toward the door with the other stylists. After all of them are gone, Orion throws his arms around me. I gently pry him off of me and crouch down to his level.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I don't know what to do," he whispers.

"You'll be fine, just put on a smile and answer the questions."

"But what if I'm not happy?"

"You have to pretend. I know it's hard. Trust me, I'm just as happy to be talking to those people as you are, but if you want to live, you've got to at least try to look happy."

"I'll try."

"Good. If you get nervous, pretend you're talking to me."

"That will make things so much easier."

The wait for the interview is agonizing. Step by step, we get closer to the front of the line. Finally, I find myself at the front. I see the boy from eleven come off the stage, and then I'm being escorted into a tube. The bottom starts to rise, and then I'm on the side of the stage.

"Next up, we have the daughter of previous victors, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, give it up for Lily Mellark!" Caesar says. An attendant gives me a little push and I walk onto the stage. The crowd goes wild. I blow kisses to them and wave. They love it. I'm pretty sure it's the dress, not me though. I take my seat across from Caesar and the audience quiets down.

"Ah, welcome Miss Lily. How are you doing?"

"I'm very good, Caesar. How about you?"

"I'm doing well, thank you for asking. You have such good manners!"

"Thank you."

"So tell me, how did you get such a high score in training?"

"I'm not supposed to share that information, but let's just say I inherited some skills from my mother."

"I think we have ourselves a little fighter here, folks. I think we all know by now that your little brother is the other tribute from your district. How is it having him with you?"

Really, Caesar? "It's hard… knowing that in a few weeks one or both of us will be dead. In a way, I guess I'm glad that it's me in the Games with him and not another girl so I can protect him. Other than that, I hate it."

"How far will you go to protect him?"

"I would lay down my life for him." A murmur goes through the audience. Many people dab tears from their eyes.

"You are very brave, Miss Lily. Now, I don't know about all of you, but I just cannot take my eyes off of your dress."

"Isn't it beautiful? Cinna is a better stylist than I could've ever wished for."

"Cinna, why don't you take a bow?" Cinna stands up and gives a quick bow. "None of us can forget that grand entrance you made at the opening ceremonies. Were you afraid of being on fire?"

"No, not at all. In fact, it was really fun. I wish I could do it again."

"Very impressive." A buzzing noise fills the room. "Unfortunately, our time is up. Good luck, Miss Lily, and we hope to see you here again!" The audience applauds loudly as I exit the stage. I practically run to the tube. The plate lowers and I clamber out of the tube that's too small for my dress. I run over to where Orion is about to step into the other tube. I give him a quick hug and whisper advice in his ear.

"Remember, try to look happy, and if you feel nervous, talk to me, not the crowd. Good luck." The Capitol attendant gives me an unhappy look as he shoves Orion into the tube. I stand by the tube until Orion is totally out of view. Then, I rush over to the screens where mom and dad are watching silently. I wedge myself between them, and they put their arm around me.

"Last, but most certainly not least, we have the son of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, brother of Lily Mellark; give it up for Orion Mellark!" I hold my breath as he walks out. To my relief, he has a very convincing smile on his face. He doesn't do all of the waving that I did, but that's like him. It works.

"Welcome, Orion! It's great to have you here! And may I say you look dashing in that suit."

"Thank you, Caesar."

"Now, we just heard from your sister. How do you like having her here with you?"

"She has helped me a lot through this process. I know that one of us will not be returning home, and that's really hard to think about. Ever since the reaping, my only wish has been to find a way to get both of us home. I want Lily to know how much I love her, even when I yell at her or fight with her. I have always looked up to her and tried to be just like her. " A tear wells up in his eye.

"Aw, don't cry. I know it must be very hard. If I could change the rules, I could." The audience is in an uproar. Some are in tears. Others call for a change in the rules. Caesar tries to calm the audience down, but they don't. A few brave souls call for the games to be stopped. Nothing Caesar does can calm them down. Seeing this, I know that something dangerous has begun. Something I sparked and Orion ignited. The Capitol is turning against the Capitol. How long will the unrest last? Not long I suppose. As soon as the blood starts flowing, they will forget the slight glint of rebellion. I can only hope that something will be done to change the rules.

The buzzer can be heard faintly through the crowd. Caesar sends Orion off the stage. Mom, dad, and I run to the tube where Orion is coming back into view. He looks almost like he's in a daze when he steps off. I immediately embrace him, and I feel mom and dad's arms around us. I can hear Orion sobbing into my dress.

"What did I do?" Orion asks.

"Nothing, honey, you did great." Mom says.

"I know you only got to say a few things, but you did great." Dad says.

"But why did everyone get so mad?" Orion chokes out.

"They're not happy. They hate the thought of…" Mom starts. We all fill in what she couldn't say. I can feel tears starting to form in my eyes. Cinna and Deena enter the room. I can tell they are worried about something. Cinna pulls mom and dad away. This is bad. I know they are talking about something we can't hear, and if we can't hear it, it's bad. Very bad. When they come back over to us, their expressions are all concerned.

"The Capitol isn't happy about what happened in the audience," dad says.

"Kingsman is on stage now," Deena says. Sure enough, President Kingsman has stolen the microphone and is standing before a quieted crowd.

"I am horrified with every last one of you. How dare you react as you did? You can be sure that there will be no more than one victor. Do you understand?" Kingsman says harshly. The audience gives a slight nod. "Good. I was not planning on making these games any more difficult than what we have planned, but believe me when I say; we will be showing less than no mercy in these games. As a punishment, the games will be beginning in two hours. Tributes must be on the hovercraft in one hour." I give a faint shriek. We have two hours left as a family. Two hours before we must fight to the death. Two hours. That's all.

Dad is literally holding mom up at this point. They're both trying so hard to stay strong for us, but they're both faltering. "Come on you two. There's somewhere we need to go." Dad says. We follow him to the elevator and up to our floor. From there, he takes us to a set of stairs that leads to the roof. "This is where your mom and I spent our last night before the games began. We were going to take you up here tonight anyway, but with things rushed, we should probably spend as much time together as possible."

We sit in a clump at the edge of the roof. Orion and I in the middle, mom and dad on the outside. Orion lays his head in my lap. I just realized that I still have my dress on. There's no use in changing though. That would just be time as a family lost. Everything seems so perfect right now. We are all here. All together. For the very last time.

_The last time. _Tears spill from my eyes. I don't want to cry, but stress, sadness, and anxiety have built up over the past few days, and I can't hold it in anymore. Orion hears me crying and tries to comfort me. It doesn't work. Mom and Dad hug us tighter.

I finally cry myself out right as Cinna comes to tell us that we need to get ready. I hold on to Orion's hand as we walk back to our room. The only time I let go is when we have to change. The outfit left for me is a black tank top, a black t-shirt, black pants, and a black jacket that can change from a light coat to a heavy winter jacket by taking off an insulated, button-on covering that rolls up and attaches to the back of the coat. Very convenient.

Cinna knocks on my door and tells me that it's time to go to the hangar. I look for Orion, but we are not allowed to see each other until we are in the arena now. Only mom and Cinna are with me. Mom will walk with me to the hangar and Cinna will stay with me until the games start.

We step into the Hangar. A door opens up, revealing a hovercraft waiting for me. Mom hugs me one last time. Then she pins something onto my shirt. I recognize it as her Mockingjay pin. The symbol of the rebellion.

"For your district token," she says.

"What about Orion?" I ask.

"Dad's giving him something very special. Don't worry about that. I'm going to miss you so much." She looks like she's about to cry.

"Don't cry, mom. Stay strong. One of us is coming home. I promise."

"You can do I Lily. I know you can."

An attendant tells us it's time for me to go. Cinna escorts me to a ladder. An electric current freezes me in place and pulls me into the hovercraft that will fly me to my death.


	6. Punishment

"Do you feel like talking?" Cinna says calmly.

"I'm scared," I whisper even though it's just stating the obvious since I'm visibly shaking.

"Thirty seconds," an automated voice says. My eyes dilate in fear, my heart beats faster, my breathing quickens.

"Breathe Lily, you're going to do fine," Cinna says.

"But-" I start.

"No buts. Don't second guess yourself. Get away from the cornucopia, find Orion, and find water. If you trust yourself, try to grab a backpack from around the cornucopia."

"Twenty seconds." I'm trying hard not to scream. I don't want to do this. I don't want to kill. I don't want to die. I want to go home and be with my mom, dad, and brother. I'm still holding on to the hope that this is all one long nightmare and I'm going to wake up back at home.

"I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, I'd bet on you," Cinna says. I haven't realized how badly I'm going to miss his relaxing presence in the arena.

"Thank you," I manage to say.

"Ten seconds."

"You need to get in the launch tube now." Cinna says.

"No, not yet. I can't do it. I can't do it."

"I'm sorry Lily, you have to." Cinna gently guides me to the tube. I know I will have to get in, but my legs won't take the two small steps it will take. "Lily, you have to get in. I'm sorry." I cautiously take the two steps into the tube and the entrance closes up. I take one last look at Cinna, who gives me a reassuring nod, and the plate rises. I'm going into the arena. I'm going to my death. In my head, I say my final goodbyes to everyone I love. Mom, dad, Orion, Gina, Cinna, Anita, even my prep team. I know that the only one of them I will ever see will be Orion, and I only have a few weeks left with him, max.

The plate locks in place, and I survey my surroundings. It looks like we're in a meadow with a forest to my right, lush green mountains to my left, a field of tall grass, shrubs, and wildflowers in front of me, and who knows what lies behind me. As usual, all twenty-four of us surround the golden cornucopia, and there are supplies spilling out of the mouth. The strange thing is, is that between each of our plates lies another plate. I spot Orion standing on the next occupied spot over from me.

_Psst _I say. Orion snaps his head my way. His eyes are still bright red from crying. _Run to the forest, _w_ait for me, don't go to the cornucopia, _I mouth to him. He nods. Suddenly, the booming voice of President Kingsman fills the arena.

"Attention tributes and Capitol citizens. I have some news for all of you. You must have noticed the twenty-four extra plates surrounding the cornucopia. In a moment, twenty-four more tributes will be entering the games. But these are not ordinary tributes. As a punishment for what happened at the interviews, we have chosen twenty-four Capitol children to compete in the games." he says. The covering on the plates move, and slowly, twenty-four more tributes rise into the arena. On the plate between Orion and I, a small girl who still has a pink ribbon in her hair rises up. She looks like she's contemplating jumping off her plate and killing herself. I'm not really worried about the Capitol children killing any of us. None of them had any training, and they are the ones who have been watching us go through this torturous process. What I am worried about is how this will affect sponsors. Surely all of the citizens of the Capitol would rather support their own children than a lowly district child. I'm sure none of the potential sponsors will have a problem dishing out their last penny to ensure that none of the Capitol children want for anything.

The countdown begins, leaving me with sixty seconds to get myself together. I spot Carmen across from me, still stunned about the addition of these new tributes, Elaina next to her, she looks like she's got her emotions in control. I hope she will run away from the cornucopia. She doesn't stand a chance in the bloodbath. Bronwyn and Calden seem to be communicating with each other for some reason. They're probably allies. If that's the case, we're in trouble.

_Ten _

_ Nine_

_ Eight_

_ Seven_

_ Six_

_ Five_

_ Four _

_ Three_

_ Two _

_ One_

The gong rings and I run for the cornucopia. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Orion running for the woods just like I told him to do. Now, I can only hope that Carmen will follow and I won't die trying to get supplies. I spot a bright blue backpack laying on the ground. I grab it and swing it over my shoulder. It feels heavy, so it must have something in it. Just feet away, I find another backpack and grab it. The cornucopia is only a few yards away, and just inside the mouth, I see a bow and a sheath of arrows. Everyone else seems preoccupied with another tribute, so I bolt for it and grab it, along with a few knives, some rope, and a jug of water. I think I have enough, so I start running for the woods.

I hear someone coming up behind me. Before I can load my bow, the person tackles me to the ground. I think it's the boy from district one, but I can't remember his name. In his hand, he holds a spear that he intends to use to kill me. I try to escape, but his weight is too great. He raises the spear over my heart. I take my final breath. I hope Carmen can take care of Orion and make sure he gets out of this alive.

Everything goes into slow motion. The boy stumbles off of me. Blood sprays on to my face. And the boy drops to the ground, dead. I can see the handle of a knife in his back. I look up to see Carmen standing a few yards away. Our eyes meet for a second.

_The woods, _I mouth. She looks confused for a moment, and then she takes off for the woods. I get to my feet and take off after her, only pausing to grab an extra backpack, just in case she needs one, and a jug of water.

Once I reach the edge of the woods, I turn around to see what's going on, a decision I will forever regret. Someone chops off the head of the Capitol girl that was next to me off with an axe, another person, Calden, snaps the neck of a boy with his bare hands, Bronwyn has a club and is beating a Capitol boy to death. I turn back to the woods to find Orion, but what I see when I turn shocks me.

It's Elaina.

Her eyes widen in fear. She starts to back away, but I stop her and toss her one of my backpacks. I know I will regret it later, but she has nothing. I couldn't bear to leave her with nothing. Hopefully, there's something she can use in there. Now, my top priority is to find Orion and Carmen. With my bow loaded, I move toward the area where I think Orion might be. I have to wonder if he's still alive. Who knows how many other tributes had the same idea as I had?

To my relief, I spot his blonde hair sticking out from behind a tree. In any other circumstance, I'd sneak up on him and scare him, but that would be a really bad idea.

"Orion," I whisper. He jumps a bit, then runs from behind the tree. He throws his arms around me.

"I thought you would die," he whispers.

"But I didn't, did I?"

"Did you kill anyone?"

"No. I did manage to get a bow and arrows and a lot of supplies."

"Really? That's awesome!"

"I know. Why don't we make our way deeper into the woods and make a camp?"

"Sounds good."

There's the sound of a twig snapping behind me. I snap around with my bow loaded, only to find Carmen collapsing to the ground holding her side. Her shirt is streaked with blood.

"Carmen, what happened?" I ask worriedly.

"I think I twisted my ankle and Capitol boy got me with a sword," she grunts.

"A Capitol boy?"

"Yeah, he was just waving the thing around like it was a toy and I got to close."

"Can you pull your shirt up so I can see how bad it is?"

"Okay, but shouldn't we try to get a bit deeper in the woods first?"

"Yes, but I don't think you will be able to walk far."

"If you say so." She pulls up her shirt and tank top to reveal a deep gash across her side. It will get infected if we don't clean it out and get it covered. I check the first backpack to see if there's anything that will help. There's a small medical kit with some bandages and tablets that I guess are antibiotics. It will help, but it may not be enough. I give Carmen the bottle of water and one of the tablets, and wrap the cut with the bandages. It will do for now. I create a crude ankle brace out of some of the remaining bandages.

"That's about as good as it's going to get, but we're going to need to keep a close eye on it," I say. Orion and I help Carmen to her feet and we let her lean on our shoulders as we walk. Ideally, I'd find a tree to sleep in, but Orion can't climb that well, and Carmen is in no condition to climb a tree. I remember mom and dad telling me that they found a rock cave to camp in. Maybe we'll be lucky enough to find one. I'd also like to be near a water source because with three of us, this one jug of water isn't going to last long. Carmen gives occasional yelps of pain. I suggest taking a break, but she's determined to keep going.

The cannons begin to fire, causing us to jump and nearly sending Carmen tumbling to the ground. All-together, I think there were eighteen. Eighteen children killed in just a few hours. Many of them from the Capitol. I wonder if the rest of the Capitol is enjoying this? They seemed excited enough when we first arrived. How long did it take them to go back to their old ways? Especially the ones that never knew a life prior the rebellion. Did Kingsman brainwash them all that fast? Or did he force them to look excited? The audience seemed absolutely terrified in his presence at the interviews. If Kingsman is capable of sending the children of the Capitol to death, what else is he capable of?

"Um… Lily?" Carmen says. She and Orion are both staring at me. Did I seriously zone out? Guess so.

I'm so distracted by my thoughts about Kingsman that I don't notice the signs. The softening dirt, pools of mud, the sounds of rushing water. I don't notice until Orion and Carmen come to a stop. In front of us is a clearing with a massive waterfall in the middle.

"I think we've found our camp," I says, still stunned by the beauty of it.

"It's perfect," Orion says.

We walk toward the waterfall and splash our faces in the cool, crisp water. Now we need to find shelter. We walk to the rocky side of the waterfall . Nothing seems promising until I spot a crack in the rocks that's big enough to crawl through. I stick my head in to find that it's completely hollow and the perfect size for the three of us.

"It's a cave, come on!" I say. Orion and Carmen rush over. I crawl in first, followed by Carmen and Orion. We all fit comfortable in the cave. There's a hole in the top that lets in some light and will double as a chimney if it gets cold or if we need to cook. It's certainly not hot right now though. "We need to go through the supplies," I say. I hand Orion a backpack to go through. Carmen has her own thankfully. In mine, I find a sleeping bag, water purification pills, some beef jerky, crackers, and a pair of weird sun glasses. Orion gets a sleeping bag, water bottle, knife, three packs of dried fruit, and another pair of sunglasses. Carmen gets a sleeping bag, matches, a loaf of bread, a net, and sunglasses.

"Night-vision glasses," Carmen says. "These will come in really helpful."

We arrange our wide array of supplies. It may not last us long, but I can hunt, so long as there's animals out here. As for water, we've got the best source possible right next to us. Plus, we've got a net, so as dreadful as it would be, I could set a trap for… I can't even think about it.

"Carmen, I think we should check on your cut," I say, but the Capitol anthem begins, so we climb out of the hole to see today's deaths.

The first ten are all Capitol children. They look so sweet and innocent in their pictures that for a minute, I feel awful about their death. _But they have to die, _I think. The ninth face is the boy Carmen killed, followed by the girl from three, both from five, the girl six, the girl from nine, the boy from ten, and the boy from eleven. The anthem finishes and the sky goes dark other than the light of the moon, but our eyes remain on the sky. It's Orion that first turns to go back to the hole. Carmen and I follow shortly behind him.

The hole is dark, too dark to see, but we have the night-vision glasses that allow us to see clearly. Carmen pulls up her shirt to reveal blood-soaked bandages. When I peel them away, I see that the cut has stopped bleeding, but is starting to get inflamed.

"I'm going to go look to see if I can find some plants that will help your cut," I whisper. I remember grandma teaching me about medicinal plants before she got sick and died. Maybe there are some out here. I grab my bow and arrows and head out.

The glasses make everything seem so dark and gloomy. Instead of the lush green leaves and bright wildflowers, everything is shrouded in gray. It's makes the arena seem a whole lot scarier.

From above me, I hear a faint chiming sound. When I look up, I see a small parachute floating down. It's a sponsor gift! I was sure we'd never get anything over the Capitol children, but I guess I'm wrong. I grab the parachute out of the air and crack open the small container attached. Inside, there's a thick, milky white cream. It must be for Carmen's cut. I rush back to the hole.

"Carmen, we got a sponsor gift!" I say excitedly.

"Really? What is it?" she says.

"Medicine for your cut. Pull your shirt up so I can put it on."

"Oh thank goodness." She quickly pulls up her shirt and I gently dab the cream on it. She must still be in a lot of pain, because she cringes whenever I touch the cut.

"How's your ankle?" I ask once I'm done with the cut.

"Still really sore, but the bandages help a little bit," she says.

"Okay, let's prop it up and we'll try to get some sleep."

"Who's going to stay awake?" Orion asks.

"I will, I can use the bow if I need to," I say.

We roll out our sleeping bags and use our jackets to make a place for Carmen's foot to rest. Orion lies right next to me, while Carmen stays a bit further over. Soon, I'm the only one awake. The images from the bloodbath replay over and over in my mind. I try to push the images out of my mind, but it's clear they have been burned into my memory forever. The longer I'm alone, the louder the sounds of the forest seem to become. Ever chirp of a cricket, every rustle of a branch makes me jump. I shouldn't worry this much. Even if someone comes near the waterfall, they won't find us here, right?


	7. Not A Game

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_ I can see them. One coming from my left, one from my right. They look vaguely familiar, but I can't place them. I run as fast as I can, but it isn't fast enough. He knocks me to the ground. She stands over me with club. I try to run, but he crushes my ankle under his foot. When I cry out in pain, she laughs and hits my head with her club. Hard enough to make me disoriented, but not enough to knock me out. From out of nowhere, a boy appears with an axe. I scream at the top of my lungs, but that only makes the first boy step harder on my ankle. That's when I see the boy raise the axe…_

"Lily?" someone says. I feel hands on my shoulder, shaking me. "Wake up," My eyes flutter open and someone is on their knees next to me. I instinctively try to back away and raise my loaded bow. "Lily, relax, it's just me." Everything seems to clear up. It is not an attacker by my side, but my little brother. I wiggle my foot and see that it is not broken. It was only a dream.

"Are you okay? You were screaming your head off," Carmen says.

"I'm fine. It was just a nightmare," I admit. I'm kind of embarrassed that I haven't been in the arena for more than twelve hours and I'm already having nightmares. Even though I know it was just a dream, my breathing is still heavy and I'm soaked with sweat, although that could be from the heat.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Carmen says.

"It's okay." I look out of the hole to see that it's still night. "Could one of you take guard for a while?" I ask.

"I'll do it," Carmen says.

"Thanks. Wake me up if you see anything." It doesn't take me long to drift into a light sleep.

"Lily?" a voice says. My eyelids flutter open to see Carmen knelt over me. Was I dreaming again? I don't remember anything. "Can you take a look at this?" She points to her ankle, which no longer has bandages on it.

"What happened to the bandages?" I ask.

"I had to take them off. It was too much pressure."

"What?" I look at her ankle again and see why. The swelling has almost doubled and it has turned totally black and purple. "Can you move it at all?"

"No,"

"We need to get some ice on it."

"Where do you expect to find ice in this place?" That's when I notice how cold it is. I didn't realize that both of us are shivering. I peak my head out of the entrance to the cave to see that there are no more leaves, no flowers, no grass, just bare branches, a few pieces of brown grass, and snow. Everywhere snow. Something else is missing.

The water.

I quickly clamber out of the hole to find that the waterfall has completely frozen. Excited, I crawl back into the cave to find something that will hold ice. The beef jerky was packed in a plastic bag. That will be perfect.

"What did you find?" Carmen asks with a hint of suspicion.

"Everything's frozen, even the water," I say.

"And that's good… why?"

"Ice. For your ankle."

"Oh, okay. That's great!"

I climb back out of the hole, armed with a knife and plastic bag, and walk quietly through what used to be the water. When I get there, I raise the knife up and jab it into the ice, causing a large crack to appear. I stab the ice a few more times until a few pieces break off. I put the broken pieces in the bag, and hit it with the handle of the knife to break it up. Once I have a suitable ice pack, I go back to the hole and prop Carmen's foot on it. She breathes a sigh of relief as her foot settles into the soft ice. There is a bright light coming through the hole. I'd say it's around nine o'clock in the morning. Orion roles over, but doesn't wake up. It's light enough now to where we could probably light a fire without too much risk. Then again, all of the sticks are so moist that they would either not catch fire, or make so much smoke that everyone in the arena would be alerted to our location. So, I guess we'll have to deal with the cold.

"W-w-what hap-p-pened?" Orion says. His teeth are chattering.

"Arena froze," I say.

"Here, I have your jackets," Carmen says. She takes the jackets out from under her feet and hands them to us. It helps a lot, especially with the warmer attachment. Still, we're shivering. I decide to collect some wood so we can at least try to dry it out and make a fire. Carmen wants either her or Orion to come with me, but I remind her that she doesn't need to walk, and that I want Orion to stay away from any potential danger. She's reluctant to let me go alone, but in the end, she trusts my skills with a bow.

I quietly walk out into the blindingly white world and quickly find plenty of usable sticks. However, I take the opportunity to do a bit of hunting. I occasionally catch sight of a rabbit, but they hop away before I can shoot. I hear something coming up behind me. I whip around with my bow loaded to see a Capitol girl with two bright red braided pigtails. Her eyes are wide with fear, but she bravely holds my stare. I know I should let my arrow fly into her heart, but I can't bring myself to do it. She's so sweet, so innocent…

_But she has to die… _I think.

I squeeze my eyes shut and let the arrow go.

There's an ear-piercing scream, but no cannon. I open my eyes to see that the arrow has lodged itself in her stomach. She pulls the arrow out and holds the place the arrow hit. I know she will bleed to death soon, but she's going to be in a lot of pain until she does. She doubles over and collapses to the ground. I walk over to her and bend down onto the blood soaked snow surrounding her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I say to her. She looks up at me with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Kill me. Please, just kill me," she says, and coughs up some blood. I have my knife with me, and I can't leave her to bleed to death when she just begged me to end her life. I pull the knife out and turn my head as I cut her neck. The cannon fires, so I clear out so the hovercraft can retrieve her body.

I can't believe what I just did. I killed a person. I'm a murderer. That girl wasn't even posing a threat to me and I shot her. I had no reason to shoot her. _For Orion, _I think weakly, but that thought is quickly overpowered by shame.

The hovercraft retrieves the girl's body. As she is lifted into the hovercraft, I give the three-fingered salute of my district. I wonder what her family is doing. They are surely in tears over the loss of their daughter. Did she have brothers, sisters, maybe even a boyfriend? Are they mourning her death now? Are they calling for my blood?

"Lily!" someone shouts. It sounds distant, like it came from near camp. I whirl around to see Orion stumbling out of the hole and Carmen limping behind him. I run toward them.

"You're alive!" Orion shouts.

"We heard the cannon and then we saw the hovercraft. We thought it was you," Carmen says. "Who though?" she says, looking out at the red snow just steps away from us. She sees the grim expression on my face. "Oh Lily, did you…"

"Yes," I say. "I killed her. I'm a murderer."

"It's okay, she had to die," Orion says. He puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I know, I know, but she was a Capitol girl and she didn't have any weapons and…" I say.

"Why, Lily?" Carmen says.

"I… I don't know." I can't keep the tears from falling out of my eyes.

"It's okay, you're just playing the game," Orion says.

"But it's not a game! Children are dying, and one just died at my hands. Two of us are going to die sooner or later. This isn't a game. This is a nightmare," I shout through my tears

"Come on, let's get some sticks and head back to camp," Carmen says.

"You should sit while Orion and I get the sticks. Don't want to hurt your ankle anymore," I say. Orion and I quickly gather the sticks and put them in the cave. Then, we go back to get Carmen back into the cave. All of us are wet and shivering. We can see our breath every time we exhale. Orion and Carmen eat a few pieces of beef jerky. They try to get me to eat some too, but I feel sick from having to kill that girl. I scoot into the corner of the cave, curl my knees up, and cry. Every time I close my eyes, I see the face of that innocent little girl, my arrow going into her, the bloody snow surrounding her, and her pleading for me to end her life.

"Lily-" Orion starts.

"Shhh, leave her alone," Carmen says softly. I hear Orion scooting across the floor, and I feel his arm around me. It feels good to have him close by.

After about an hour, I feel like I can talk again. That girl's face still haunts me though.

"Carmen, we better check your cut," I say. She takes off her bandages, and surprisingly, there is nothing left but a scar where the cut used to be.

"That must have been some powerful stuff," she says.

"I think it's safe to leave the bandages off now. How's your ankle feel?"

"It still hurts really badly," she says. The swelling has gone down just a little bit, but it's still black and blue.

"Leave it on the ice for now," I say.

We don't do much for the rest of the day. We pretty much sit around in the cave until we hear the Capitol anthem play. When it starts, we rush outside to see if anyone else died. The first face to appear the red-haired Capitol girl that I shot. And that's all. Not a good sign… If more of us don't start dying, the gamemakers will kill us off.

We turn to go back to the cave for a long, cold night. Carmen hops along with her arms around our shoulders. There's a sound of something flying through the air. I turn around just in time to see the axe bury itself in Carmen's back.


	8. She had to Die

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She barely has time to scream before her cannon fires. I turn to see our attacker poised to throw another axe. This time, at me. I don't hesitate to shoot an arrow. It hits his neck and he drops to the grounds. The cannon fires. This whole incident couldn't have lasted more than thirty seconds, but it leaves me breathing heavily. Orion has hidden behind a tree. He peaks his head around, his eyes dilated in horror. Is it from seeing his ally get killed, or from watching me kill yet another person? Both? I carefully walk over to his hiding spot and kneel beside him. He's shaking violently.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I…I don't know," he says

"Are you hurt?"

"No," he pauses for a moment and mumbles under his breath, "Not physically."

"I'm so sorry you had to see that. It scared me to death too."

"Why did you kill him?"

"I had to. He would've killed both of us. If there would've been any other choice, I would've taken it, but I had no choice. I'm so, so sorry."

"I know… Why haven't they taken the bodies yet?"

"We're in the way. We should probably see if he has anything we can use."

"Doesn't that seem kind of wrong?"

"Yeah, but he could have something that means the difference between life and death."

"You do it. I don't want to be near a dead body."

Turns out, the boy didn't have that many supplies. His two axes and a pack of grain. That's all. He probably wouldn't have made it too much longer anyway. Orion and I go back to the cave, and we watch as the hovercraft lifts Carmen's body out of the arena. As the claw lifts up, we give her the three-fingered salute like I gave the red-haired Capitol girl as she was lifted out of the arena. As the hovercraft flies away, a tear comes to my eye. Three people have now died because of me. Two because I killed them, one because I didn't watch our backs. If I had just looked back a few seconds earlier, Carmen might be sitting with us now.

_But she had to die_

_ Just not like this_

"I'll take first guard," Orion says.

"No, I will," I say. He starts to protest, but he sees the gleam of tears in my eyes and agrees to let me stay awake. He stays close to my side all night, occasionally mumbling something unintelligible, while I let silent tears stream down my face. I should've been watching our backs. Carmen should be alive now. I had come to think of her as a friend even though this is the worst possible place to find a friend. She was so sweet, so nice. She didn't deserve to die. But do any of us truly deserve to die? True some people are here just to play the game, but in the end, aren't we all just kids? No matter how bloodthirsty, no matter how brutal, we're all the same. Just innocent kids that were forced into this nightmare.

Is it just me or is it getting hot? After about an hour of being on guard, I take off the warm jacket attachment. Soon after, I take my jacket off all together. By the time I can hardly keep my eyes open, I'm wearing only my tank top and pants. Even Orion wiggles around uncomfortably in his sleep. I gently take him out of his sleeping bag, causing him to wake up.

"What is wrong with this arena?" Orion asks groggily.

"I have no clue, but it has gotten _hot,_" I say.

"Go to sleep, Lil, I'll guard for a while."

"If you hear anything, and I mean _anything, _wake me up."

"Okay."

Despite the heat, I fall asleep quickly. My dreams are riddled with blood and death. The faces of Carmen, the boy who killed Carmen, and the red-haired girl appear occasionally.

_**Morning**_

__When I wake up, it's already bright outside. The first thing I notice isn't the light, but the awful, dry heat. My black tank top is soaked with sweat.

"What in the world happened?" I say.

"I have no clue," Orion says. I decide to peak outside to see what is going on. To my surprise the arena has become a desert. All of the trees are gone, what used to be a waterfall is now just a dry stream bed, there is no dirt, just sand as far as the eye can see. There isn't even any wind to break the heat.

Seeing this makes me realize how thirsty I am. I climb back into the cave and grab the water bottle. I tilt it back to take a sip, but I only get one tiny drop.

"Sorry," Orion mumbles. "I kind of got thirsty." I want to yell at him for drinking what very well could be our only water source for who knows how long, but I force myself not to. Plus, if the past few days are any indication, we should have new surroundings by tomorrow. Hopefully the arena change will bring some water. For now, I settle for eating the last of the beef jerky and a couple of crackers. Eating the crackers was probably one of the worst mistakes I've ever made because they just dried my mouth out further, making the thirst even less bearable.

After a few hours of sitting in the dry heat doing nothing, I know I have to do something. "I'm going to go try to hunt," I say. "Maybe I'll find some water."

"I'm going with you," Orion says. I can't really say no. I don't want him alone in the cave.

As I expected, nothing lives out here. Occasionally I'll see a mouse hop by, but I can't exactly kill a mouse with an arrow. Finally, a snake slithers by and I sink an arrow though it's head. It wiggles around for a minute, but it stops soon. I pick it up and Orion and I start heading back toward the cave. This time, I constantly turn my head around, determined not to make the same mistake I did last time. And it's a good thing, too, because I never would've guessed what was silently approaching.

"Sandstorm!" I shout. I grab Orion's hand and drag him behind me as I try to make it back to the cave before the sand overtakes us. It's no use. We're at least a quarter mile from the cave, and the sand moves faster than we do. At first it's just an occasional grain hitting our legs, then the full force of the storm hits. The sand knocks us to our knees. It feels like a thousand needles piercing your skin every second. There's no use in trying to get up and run, so put myself on top of Orion to try to protect him the best as I can.

Just as quickly as the sandstorm started, it stops. Without warning, without slowing, it just dead stops. Even though I can no longer feel the tiny stabbing feeling of the sand, I don't move from my place on top of Orion. It takes him elbowing me in the side to get me to move. Both of us are wiping sand out of our mouth, shaking it out of our hair, even pounding it out of our ears. I don't notice the burning feeling in my throat until I try to talk. It feels like someone lit a fire in it. Eventually, we pull ourselves to our feet and make our way back to the cave. It feels like being in a completely foreign area with the sand settled on top of everything. We finally come across the familiar rocks that make up our cave.

Or used to.

In the midst of the sandstorm, the gamemakers closed off our cave, along with all of our supplies. Now we only have a sandy snake, a bow and arrows, and Orion's knife. No more food, no water. Not even our jackets. If the snow comes back, we're in trouble.

"What do we do now?" Orion asks.

"I don't know. I guess we should try to find another source of water, maybe some food," I say.

We trek for hours in search of water or another cave, but we find nothing. We hear two more cannons go off during the course of the day. In some sick, twisted way, I guess it could be counted as a good thing. It means there are two less people I might have to kill, and it means that the audience, particularly President Kingsman, won't be bored, which means that the gamemakers won't have to kill us off.

The Capitol anthem begins. Orion and I watch intently to see who the other two were.

The first to appear is the boy from two, then Carmen. Both from two in one day. Then the boy from three, who is the one who killed Carmen, and finally Elaina. I wonder if Elaina met a horrible, painful end like Carmen, but I shake the thought from my head. She had to die, I know that all too well, but it doesn't mean it isn't sad.

"How many of us are dead?" Orion asks.

"Twenty-three, I think," I say. Nearly half of us knocked out in a day. I wonder how much longer we're going to be here. At this rate, not much longer. Are the gamemakers trying to end these games fast? If they are, what kind of horrors will they send our way?

It's dark out now. Orion and I pull out our night vision goggles. Being that there is sand as far as the eye can see, we have no means of concealment. I'm not anticipating finding another cave. Surely the gamemakers wouldn't close off just our cave. Our only choice is to sleep out in the open, where we will be sitting ducks for anyone, or anything that comes along. Orion insists on taking first watch. This time, I don't argue, and I fall into a deep sleep.

Hours later I am awoken by an ear-piercing scream.


	9. The Place Where I Love You

**Sorry about the shorter chapters. As always, please review!**

The scream came from beside me.

My eyes fly open and I turn to see Orion with a spear in his chest. He's sitting straight up, looking stunned. There is no one in sight. The attacker must have run away.

"Orion, oh no, Orion, what happened?" I say franticly.

"Bronwyn," He squeaks out. His face is contorted in pain. Judging by the position of the spear, I think it may have punctured a vital organ. Maybe even his heart. Either way, it's deadly. I can feel the tears building in my eyes, but I'm determined to stay strong up until Orion's last seconds, which are approaching far too quickly. What do I say to him? I can't tell him it's okay, because it's not. He's smart enough to realize that. His breathing is becoming slow and shallow. He grips my hand like it's a lifeline. Or maybe it's me gripping his. I can't tell anymore.

"I love you, Orion," I whisper as a tear falls onto his bloody shirt.

"Win for us Lily. You have to win," he chokes out. I want to tell him something meaningful, tell him how much he meant to me, but the only thing that comes to mind is a simple lullaby that mom used to sing to us when we were little to help us fall asleep.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow _

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise_

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_

My voice shakes, and my tears are falling uncontrollably. I have to finish the song for him though. His eyes are shut, and his chest only rises slightly. I have to finish before he… I can't bring myself to think the word.

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay _

_And when it's morning, they'll wash away_

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

The final line is barely understandable

_Here is the place where I love you_

His chest falls and his grip on my hand releases. The cannon fires. I knew this was coming but I can't bring myself to accept it.

"Orion!" I scream, not caring who hears me or if they kill me. I shake his lifeless body over and over. He can't be dead, not my sweet, little brother. "Don't leave me Orion, please don't leave me." I know he's dead. His shirt is soaked with blood, sweat, and now my tears. I give him one last kiss on the forehead and start to move out of the way so his body can be taken from this wretched place. Then I stop. This is not how it ends. I will not let the death of my brother go unnoticed. During this whole ordeal, I didn't realize that a jungle had sprung up around us. There are tons of flowers surrounding me. I remember mom telling me how she covered… what was her name… Rue, with flowers after she died. She also told me how much trouble she got in because of it. I don't care. Kingsman will remember me and my brother. He can kill me for all I care, but I will not let my brother's body with a spear through the chest be anyone's last memory of him. I gather a handful of yellow, white, and blue flowers and place them delicately around Orion's body. Just before I stand up to clear out, I see a small white circle laying a few inches away from Orion's body. I pick it up and realize it's a pearl. Somewhere in my mind, I remember hearing something about a pearl. I think dad gave it to mom during their second time in the arena. I place it in my pocket as one last reminder of him. I remove the spear from his body and chuck it as far into the forest as I can, grab his knife, and clear out of the way. As the claw lifts his body, I give him the three-fingered salute. When the hovercraft disappears, I lose it. I don't have any reason to stay strong any more. I force myself to climb a tree just to be safe, and I cry all night. Suicide crosses my mind a few times. It would be so easy to stab myself with the knife and put myself out of my misery, but it's not about me anymore. I was here to protect Orion, now I'm here to win. Not for me, for him. His last words echo over and over in my head.

_Win for us Lily, you have to win_

I try to remember the good times I had with him; running barefoot through the meadow, learning how to hunt with him, picking flowers for mom on mother's day, running through the house on Christmas morning. They all seem so faint compared to the awful images that have now been burned into my mind; hearing his scream, the bloody spear in his chest, his grip on my hand, his body covered with flowers…

By the time the sun has risen, I've quit crying. I'm hungry and thirsty, but I can't make my body listen to the commands my brain gives. It's not until Orion's words echo in my head that I make myself hunt. It doesn't take long to find meat in this dense jungle. I shoot down a possum-like creature with ease. Though it takes a while, I get a fire started with just two sticks and some moss. The creature cooks up nicely, and doesn't taste that bad, although I desperately need something to wash it down with. First I get the stifling dry heat, now the heat is accompanied by awful humidity. I can already feel the first symptoms of dehydration setting in. By midday, I can my vision is blurry, I'm dizzy, I'm nauseous, and I feel like I might pass out. I sit down with my back against a tree with a wide stump. _Is this how I die? _

No. At first I think it's a figment of my imagination, but it's not. The faint ringing sound, the silver parachute descending from above my head, the bottle of water attached to it. I eagerly grab the green metal bottle, prepared to chug all of it down, but I remind myself that I need to drink it a little bit at a time. I take the first sip of the still freezing cold water. The feeling of it on my parched tongue, the coldness on my scratchy throat, it's like nothing else. I have to remind myself to save some for later, but 'one more sip' ends up as the whole bottle before I know it. A cannon fires, scaring me half to death. Is the Capitol getting bored? They might. We have been here for four days and there and twenty-three of us left, twenty-two still to die. Will they launch some attack on us?

Almost as in answer to my question, an intense buzzing noise erupts behind me. I turn to see a swarm of thousands, no, millions, of tracker jackers swiftly approaching me. Without thinking, I grab my empty water bottle and run. A few times, I see what looks like another tribute running by, but they never stop so neither do I. The wall of tracker jackers is starting to close in on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see one buzzing close to my face. Then I feel the pain. Sharp, searing, burning pain. I've heard about tracker jacker stings before, but I had no idea they would hurt like this. I feel another one on my leg. Where do I run? I see the cornucopia meadow, the only place in the arena that isn't full of trees and vines coming close, but what concealment will that offer? Another tracker jacker stings me by my eye. My vision begins to blur and I tumble onto the meadow. I see the ground begin to crumble beneath me. Is this real? Am I just hallucinating? The last piece of solid ground falls from under me and I'm falling. There's no ground in sight, just blackness. I feel something hit me in the chest, and I fade into nothingness.


	10. Captive

**Sorry that this chapter seems kind of rushed. Please review!**

"Ugh, why don't we just kill her?"

"I told you, she might be helpful."

"Yeah, but she might kill us."

"No she won't. You saw how upset she got over killing that little red-haired girl."

"Well the little red-haired girl didn't tie her to a tree."

Tie her to a tree? Tie who to a tree? Me? Who am I? Where am I? Who are these people? What's going on? My eyes fly open.

"Ah, she's come finally come around. Feeling better, Mellark?" a girl says. She looks familiar. A name comes to mind. Bronwyn. Bronwyn? Everything comes flooding back to me. I'm the Hunger Games, my brother… I can't think the words, I was stung by tracker jackers, and now… I'm tied to a tree?

"Let's not delay," a boy says, Calden, I think. "Here's the deal, you either stay here with us, or we kill you. Slowly. Simple as that."

"Let me go, give me my bow, and I'll give you an answer," I say.

Bronwyn and Calden take one look at each other. Bronwyn nods, and slashes the ropes holding me to the tree. Calden grudgingly hands me my bow and arrows.

"Your answer?" Calden says. For a second I consider killing both of them right here and now, but they could probably take me out fast than I could.

"Fine, I'll help you," I growl.

"Good choice. Now come on, we're going hunting," Calden says. When I look around, I see piles of food lying around everywhere.

"Why do you need to hunt when you have all of this?" I ask, pointing to the food.

Bronwyn laughs. "I think you are confused, Mellark. We're going _tribute _hunting," she says. I gasp.

"Having second thoughts? You can still back out and we can kill you," Calden says.

"N-no, but why do you need me?" I say.

"You see, we cannot use weapons all that well. Sure we have brute strength, but it's not enough. However you, while lacking in strength, are quite good with that bow. We've seen first-hand," Calden says.

"What do you mean 'seen first-hand'?" I ask.

"We've been watching you. You killed our ally, the one with the ax, and that little red-haired girl, what a sad end she had," Bronwyn says. "No more talk, we have to hunt."

We walk into the woods, which is covered in snow once again. I am forced to take the lead, leaving me with two dangerous people behind me. To my relief, we don't see anyone for hours.

My luck doesn't last long though. We come across a Capitol boy, who looks to be about eighteen. For a moment, we stare each other down.

Bronwyn gives me a little kick. "Don't just stand there, kill him." When I don't load my bow, she pulls out a knife and holds it to my neck. "Kill him, or I kill you," she hisses. I have no choice but to shoot the boy, who gives a scream of pain, falls to his knees, and the cannon fires.

"Nice job, Mellark. A little less delay next time?" Calden says. I retrieve my arrow, and we keep walking. I start to get dizzy with hunger and thirst, and the cold bores through my thin jacket. My thin jacket? I wonder where it came from. By the time the Capitol anthem starts to play, I can hardly stand, and my hands are turning blue. The first face in the sky is the Capitol boy that I killed, then another Capitol kid, and the girl from four.

"How many died while I was out?" I ask.

"A lot, mostly Capitol kids, the boy from four, and your pathetic little brother," Bronwyn says. She just crossed the line.

"Pathetic? You will not call my brother pathetic. I cannot believe you have the nerve to talk about him like that to my face. Trust me, you will pay for this!" I spit out at her.

"Well, I took him down easily enough," Bronwyn says nonchalantly.

"You. Killed. My. Brother." I hiss.

"Oh, whoops. Guess we forgot to mention it," Bronwyn says. Without thinking, I punch her in the face. I know it was a mistake, but I have to make them pay somehow. Bronwyn, who now has a bloody nose, pulls her knife out and stabs it into my arm. I cry out in pain. Calden and Bronwyn laugh maniacally. Bronwyn gets in my face and says, "Punch me again and I'll kill you."

"You're going to wait until she punches you again? No. I say we dispose of her now," Calden says. I whip an arrow into place. It's hard to pull it back with my heavily bleeding arm, but I manage to shoot it into Bronwyn's leg, buying me enough time to whip another into place and sink it into Calden's chest. A cannon fires, confirming he is dead. In the time it took to shoot Calden, Bronwyn has pulled out another knife.

"I don't want to kill you, Mellark," she spits out. "But I have no problem doing it." I want more than anything to shoot her now and get rid of this brutal girl that killed, no, murdered my brother, and then acted like it didn't matter, but I have no doubt that she will kill me just as fast as I would. Can I really trust her? The answer isn't hard to find.

"You killed my brother. It's your turn to pay," I say, and I let my arrow go. Just before her cannon goes off, she spits out one word.

"Traitor."

I yank the three arrows it took to take them down from the bodies. After some thought, I take Bronwyn's jacket too. It bothers me a bit to be wearing a dead girl's jacket, but the thought of freezing to death overrules any concern. What's more concerning than freezing to death is the deep wound on my arm. It's still bleeding heavily, and with the adrenaline rush over, the pain has become debilitating. The only thing I can think to do is to tie the thin jacket I've been wearing around my arm. With that sort of taken care of, I can begin the long trek to… where? I'm still disoriented from the past day's events, and I have no clue where I am. I decide to try to head back to the cornucopia. There could be some supplies there.

I finally find my way back to the cornucopia. I stumble to the mouth of the gold horn and find some food. I'm not sure what it is, only that it's not enough. I dig around until I find a banana. The potassium will do me good. I dig out a bottle of water and chug it down. With my hunger and thirst at least semi- attended to, I can focus on my cut, which my swollen considerably. I find a red medical kit with some bandages in it. The medicine that Carmen got would be helpful now, but if I remember correctly, it was stuck in a cave. Though it's only been dark for about two hours or so, it's getting light again. Must be the gamemakers trying to throw us off.

The sound of blaring trumpets fills the arena. What now? Not another horror, please. A feast, maybe? Nothing good could come of that. Kingsman's voice booms through the arena.

"Attention tributes. You must all come to the cornucopia. If you do not, you will be dead. I repeat, you must come to the cornucopia. You have two hours," his voice yells. What does he mean? What's going to happen? I think the idea is coming together in my mind.

If we're not at the cornucopia, we're going to die…

The games are ending today.


	11. Victor

**Thank you to all of you who are reading this! Sorry that the chapters have been so short lately, I promise the next will be longer!**

A cannon fires, startling me out of my daze. _The games are ending today. _They force us all to the cornucopia and then they do… what? Are they going to blow up the rest of the arena or something? Why are they rushing things like this? We've only been here for about a week. Mom and dad were in for almost three weeks their first time. I guess these are just unpopular because of the Capitol kids and all.

Another cannon fires. That's two in just thirty minutes. People will be arriving at the cornucopia soon, so I need to build my energy back up. I have to eat because sleep won't really be an option. I find a bag of fruit, some bread, water, and peanut butter, all of which will be good for energy, and eat it quickly. Then, I find an extra sheath of arrows, just to be safe. Whether I like it or not, I'm going to have to kill a lot of people if I plan on making it through this second bloodbath. If I want to get home… home. In just a few hours I will either be home or dead. Home or dead…

Trumpets sound again. What now? What now?

"Attention tributes, we have a change to our earlier announcement. You now only have fifteen minutes to get back to the cornucopia field and onto a plate. You are to go directly to a plate and wait when you arrive. I repeat, you have fifteen minutes to get onto a plate. Do not kill anyone until you are told and do not go to the weapons. Thank you," Kingsman says. As soon as the announcement ends, three tributes bolt onto the icy plain and onto a plate. I run to a plate, too. The other three appear to be non-Capitol kids.

In what I'm guessing is fifteen minutes, only five more people come to the plain. The trumpets sound yet again.

"Time is up," Kingsman says coldly. Suddenly, steel walls begin to rise around the meadow. They continue to rise until they are at least twenty feet tall. Without warning, they stop. There is a sound of an explosion, followed by a series of cannons. I think there were nine of them. The trumpets sound yet again.

"Tributes, let the killing begin!" Kingsman says, followed a maniacal laugh. Everyone bolts for the cornucopia, except for me. Most of them don't even think about the other people standing beside them unless it's to shove them out of the way to get food. I, however, have to do what I hate most. Kill them all. I cringe as my first arrow sinks into a girl's back. She immediately drops dead. The other seven tributes drop what they're doing and turn to look back at me, as if suddenly remembering why they're here. They charge at me like an angry mob, and I start firing arrows this way and that. Occasionally, a cannon fires, confirming that I have ended yet another person's life. Each time it brings a pang of guilt. Some of the other tributes turn on each other and start having fist fights, others have knives and make feeble attempts at killing someone else.

Everything happens so quickly. One minute there are nine of us on the plain, the next, only two. Me and a frail looking girl from the Capitol. She has curly red hair and familiar features… she looks like the little girl that I killed. I wonder…

"Did you have a sister in the games?" I ask.

"Y-yes. She died," she says nervously. I'm overwhelmed with the desire to protect this little girl who lost a sister at my hands. She has no weapons, and during this whole fight, she stood against the cornucopia, out of the way of everyone. "A-are you going to kill me?" she whispers. This brings me up short. How can I kill her when I killed her sister and she just asked me if I was going to kill her or not? Before I can answer, a horrible noise arises from behind us. I turn around to see mammoth snake-like creatures coming toward us. They have lime green scales and two… legs? Yes, legs. The creatures, or should I say mutts, walk on two legs, coming closer and closer. All at once they stop. There is one mutt, larger than the rest, in front of what looks to be at least forty-five others. It opens its mouth to reveal two huge, dripping fangs. It lets out a horrible sound… more horrible than anything I've ever heard.

It lets out my brother's scream.

All at once, the other forty-five let out screams that are so human, so familiar. It's the screams of the dead tributes. The Orion snake lets out another scream and they all charge for me and the little girl. They seem to let out one continuous scream. It's a deafening sound, but Orion's pained scream is worse than any of them. Louder than any of them. I know what the Capitol is doing. They're trying to break me down so I lose the will to fight. However, they've done the opposite. Every time I hear the scream, my will to win is renewed stronger than ever.

The mutts are not just here to break us, they're here to kill us. Their fangs white fangs drip with a purple liquid that I assume is poison. The first mutt, the Orion mutt, reaches us first. It bites at the air wildly, its cold eyes crazed with the need to kill. It catches my scent and screams. Without thinking twice, I run for the cornucopia. I try to climb it, but wherever I touch it, it melts in my fingers. There is nowhere to run. I have no choice but to fight. I shoot the first arrow at the Orion mutt, but it only bounces off its scales. There is nowhere to run, no way to fight. I guess it's survival of the fittest. The only thing I can think to do is run around to circular field and distract the mutts. Some of them follow me, but many of them stay near the red-haired girl. I lead the mutts on a wild chase, hoping to exhaust them. It's pointless. After running the circumference of the field only three times, my legs give out. The Orion mutt lifts me off the ground. _This is how I die, _I think. It sinks its long, poisoned fangs into my leg, sending a paralyzing wave of pain through my whole body. I feel my heart begin to race.

_Boom_

The final cannon fires. I'm sure it's my own, but the mutt drops my motionless body onto the ground and the trumpets sound yet again.

"Congratulations to the victor of the seventy-sixth Hunger Games, Lilly Mellark!"


	12. Not Safe

A ladder comes down. I want desperately to reach out for it, to get out of these games forever, but the poison from the mutt has left me unable to move. _The games aren't over yet. I could still die. _I feel a zapping sensation and I see the arena moving away. Then, I see the inside of a hovercraft. People dressed in white with masks on converge on me. My immediate instinct is to kill them and get them away from me. The white-clad people, who I guess are doctor, must see it in my eyes, and they try to comfort me.

"You're okay, Lily."

"We're here to help."

"You're perfectly safe."

But I don't feel safe. I feel like I am still in the arena, still in danger of death, which is partly true I guess. The doctors lift me onto a hard table and jab needles into my arm. _They're going to kill me, I know they are. _Breathing becomes difficult. I feel my lungs tighten, and I become unable to breathe.

A doctor sticks yet another needle in my arm and the world goes black.

When I open my eyes again, everything is white. Blindingly white. I feel restraints around my waist, chest, and legs. I pull against the restraints. Wait, I can move? What a relief. My relief is only temporary though. I try my hardest to escape the restraints, but I feel a liquid seep into my arm through a needle and I black out.

I open my eyes to find a person standing above me. She has long, brown hair and deep brown eyes. Who is she? She raises my bed up and sets a tray with water and a bowl of broth on it on my lap. Then, she leaves. I quickly stuff the bland broth down my throat. It feels so good to feel the warmth on my throat again. As I'm eating, I notice that my hands are clear of all the cuts I received in the arena. Excited, I look at the arm that Bronwyn stabbed. To my disappointment, there is an ugly scar left where the knife entered my arm. When I finish the broth, I am knocked out again.

When I wake up, I find that I have no restraints, no needles, and no scar on my arm. I walk around a stretch my stiff legs. On the edge of my bed is the outfit I wore in the arena. The last thing I want is to have to put on a physical reminder of that nightmare of a place. But, it doesn't look like I have a choice. I slip the ugly thing on and I find that the door to my room is unlocked. Of course. I'm supposed to be reunited with my mentors, escort, and stylist. Most of the time, this is a happy reunion, but I'm terrified to face my parents. What will they say? It's my fault that my brother died. _No, it's Bronwyn's fault. _I know that, but it won't stop me from blaming myself forever.

I start the walk down the long white hallway. When I see my parents, I break into a run and fling myself into their arms. It feels so good to see them again, to be in their arms again, I start to cry. It's not happy tears that streak my cheeks, though. These tears are tears of grief.

"Good job, Lily," Dad says.

"I knew you could do it," Mom says. I pull away from their embrace to see that their eyes are red, too. As if anticipating my next words, mom says, "It's okay, Lily. Only one of you could've made it out." I start sobbing and making awful choking sounds. I know I will look like a weak fool when this is televised, but I can't control it. I'm sure the Capitol will understand.

When I stop crying, Cinna takes my hand and takes me to the remake center. I'm dreading the overly cheery reunion with my prep team that surely awaits me.

To my surprise, my prep team is very quiet, too quiet. They almost seem afraid. Octavia even seems angry, an emotion I didn't think any of them, especially Octavia, were capable of.

"Are you okay, Octavia?" I ask.

"You killed my granddaughter!" she snaps. I gasp. _Oh no, she can't mean… _"That little red-haired girl that you killed for no reason, she was my granddaughter!"

"Oh, Octavia… I'm so, so, so sorry. I had no idea…"

"Why, Lily?" she yells and slams her hand down on the table. "Why did you kill her?"

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to get my brother out alive. I know I was wrong, and I constantly have nightmares about killing her. I hate that I killed her, I do. I'm so sorry."

"You should be. Do you know what else happened? My daughter committed suicide because she lost both of her daughters. She and one of my granddaughters might be alive today if it weren't for you! I hate you Lily and I wish you were dead!" She storms out of the room. Venia and Flavius do not say anything. When Cinna finally comes in, they only nod and walk out. Flavius shoots me a look as he exits the room.

"I had no idea…" I say.

"I know, it's okay. You had no way of knowing that was Octavia's granddaughter," Cinna says.

"I'm a terrible person. I deserved to die."

"No, Lily. You were only doing what you had to do. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I had no reason to kill that little girl. I didn't mean to cause Octavia so much pain. Please tell her that."

"I will. It will take time for her to heal. She may never get over it. Now, enough talk, we've got to get you ready for the final interview." He hands me a knee length dress with a puffy skirt made of red crinoline. The top is sparkly and looks like a real flame. As I begin to put it on, I realize how thin I am. Not good thin, but unhealthy thin. I can clearly count every one of my ribs, and I can see my entire spine. Having the dress on helps considerably, but I'm still sickly skinny.

"Come on, we need to get you to your interview," Cinna says.

The waiting room seems far too quiet and empty without the twenty-three other tributes. I hear Caesar give his opening spiel, and then we start to go up onto the stage. Mom and dad go first, followed by Anita, and then Cinna, Flavius, and Venia. Octavia never showed up. Finally, I walk onto the stage. I'm met by thunderous applause. I look to the faces of the audience. They seem overjoyed to see me, but beneath their elation, I see sadness and anger. It's not hard to figure out why. Twenty-four of their children were killed. I'd be pretty angry, too.

"Welcome, Lily! It's great to see you again!" Caesar says.

"Thank you, Caesar. It's great to be back," I say.

"And may I say congratulations on having the highest kill count of the games with eight kills?" the audience breaks into applause.

"That is nothing to be proud of. I never wanted to kill anyone. Plus, one girl that I killed was my stylist's granddaughter. I feel awful for bringing her so much pain."

"Oh… my… You have a good heart, miss Lily. How are you doing with the loss of your brother?"

"It's very hard. He should be the one sitting here, not me. I feel so guilty for not doing everything I could've to keep him alive."

"I'm very sorry. How about we get to the recap of the games?" The recap of the games? What? The chair I'm sitting in turns to face a giant screen where the Capitol seal is being shown. The first thing that is shown is the reaping. Then, they show the ceremonies. Seeing Orion sends a wave of pain throughout my body. I see a small box appear on the side of the screen showing me with a tear coming down my face. They cut to the games, skipping the interviews. I watch in horror as I am tackled by the boy and nearly killed, as I find the cave, as I kill Octavia's granddaughter. To my relief, they show how upset I got after killing her. I hope Octavia sees that. Then they show Carmen's death and me killing yet another person, but this time they show something different; Bronwyn and Calden hiding in the woods watching me. They watch my every move and plot ways to either catch me or kill me. The sandstorm comes and I know what's coming next. I don't want to relive my brother's death. It's already replays in my mind every day. Orion sits up when he hears a noise that is revealed to be Bronwyn lurking in the growing jungle. She chucks the spear and takes off running. Orion screams and I wake up. He makes me promise to win, and I sing as the life goes out of him. It shows Bronwyn and Calden watching the whole ordeal. Calden wanted to use the opportunity to kill me, but Bronwyn, who as it turns out, has a soft side, won't let him. They cut to me crying my eyes out in a tree, not showing how I covered him with flowers. On the little box on the screen, I see that my face is streaked with tears. How long does the recap last? It must have been at least two and a half hours by now and they're only to where Bronwyn and Calden captured me and made me kill the Capitol boy, and me killing them. They show the message from Kingsman, the mutts, and they finally end it with the trumpets announcing my victory. The audience applauds as the Capitol seal reappears and the screen fades to black. My chair turns around back around and President Kingsman comes out with the gold victor's crown. He places it on my head and to my surprise, embraces me.

"Mellark, these games were made to get rid of you and your stupid little brother. If you make one wrong move, say one wrong word, I will make your life a living hell, do you understand?" he hisses in my ear. He pulls away and I nod. I force myself to put a pleasant smile on my face as I walk off the stage. Do I tell mom and dad? I have to. They'll know what to do. The same thing essentially happened to mom after her games, and the second games seemed to be made to destroy her. She made it out alive, so she can help me. I hope.

When we're all back in the waiting room, mom and dad grab my hands and nearly drag me out the door and into the car waiting for us.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"We've got to get out. Now," Mom says.

"Kingsman isn't happy that you're alive," dad says.

"Yeah, so I heard," I say. We hop into the limousine and mom shouts orders for the driver to take us to the train station. It only takes minutes to get to the train station, and we literally run onto the train. We're all breathing heavily by the time we get on the train.

"What did Kingsman tell you?" Dad says.

"He said if I make one wrong move, he'll make my life a living hell," I say.

"Oh, great. I don't want you to have to go through what I did," Mom says.

"Just watch what you say and do very carefully," dad says. We sit down on the couch. All I want is to be at home in my bed with my brother close by. I wish I had died in the arena. Will I end up like mom and dad with flashbacks and nightmares? I wish I had someone to be with me when they start who understands like mom and dad had each other. I might fall in love one day, I might get married, but no one will ever understand the horrors of the arena. Mom told me that she never wanted to have kids before the rebellion because she didn't want them to be in the hunger games. Now, I understand her thinking. If I ever have kids, they will surely be forced into the hunger games.

"Do you feel okay, Lily?" Dad asks.

"Not really," I say.

"I'm sorry. You can relax now, though." Dad says.

"I thought I would be able to, but I still don't feel like I'm safe," I say.

"It takes time to relax after the games, but you will eventually," mom says.

"I'd be able to relax if Orion was here," I say quietly.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," mom says. Dad puts his arm around me and I lean on his shoulder. Mom walks out of the room wiping a tear from her eye. Dad gently strokes my hair until I fall asleep.


	13. The Time We Have Left

**Sorry it took so long to post this!**

"Lilly," Someone whispers softly. My eyes fly open and I reach for the bow that I know isn't there. It's only my mom, not an attacker. I breathe a sigh of relief as I remember that I don't have to worry anymore. Well, not in the same way. "We're almost home. There should be a big crowd waiting for you. Here," she hands me an outfit, "you'll want to look nice for this."

I go into the bathroom and again I see how sickly I look. I quickly slip the outfit on to avoid dwelling on something so insignificant. It's a comfortable outfit, an orange blouse and white capris, good for the summer heat of home. I feel the train jerk to a stop just as I step out of my room. Mom walks me to a door. She prepares me for the crowd will be waiting. I cautiously open the door, expecting cheering, clapping, shouting, but I find the opposite. There are only six unfriendly faces to greet us. Peacekeepers.

"The district is under lockdown. You are to return to your home immediately," a gray-haired man says. Two peacekeepers come forward, grab my elbows, and drag me toward my home. Mom begins to protest, but the other peacekeepers start to drag her and dad before she can.

As I'm being dragged along the same route I've taken to my home since I was old enough to walk, I notice that things are… different. People are usually walking around, talking to one another, tending to their gardens or something like that. Everything has a feeling of depression. Something isn't right.

We get to the door to our house and the peacekeepers stop.

"You are to go straight to the study," a stern man says. I have a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something tells me I know what awaits me in the study, or should I say who awaits me.

And I'm right, because when I take my first step into the study, I'm staring into the black eyes of President Kingsman. He sees the frightened expression on my faces and laughs.

"Oh, Miss Lily, did you honestly think that you could outrun me?" he says. I don't respond. He points to the chair in front of the desk. "Sit," I, of course, listen. "Let's get straight to the point. You know that I meant to kill you in the games. Your family has caused this country a lot of trouble, and I fear, Miss Lily, that you are a danger to not just me, but the nation itself. If you were to, say, start a rebellion, I assure you, you will fail. We are prepared with nuclear weapons and we will use them without problem. You don't want that, do you?" I shake my head. "That's what I thought. You may not realize it now, but you have the power to start a rebellion within you. Of course you know that, you know what you did at the interviews. And that, my dear, is unforgivable. The citizens of the Capitol are not yet used to the idea of the Hunger Games and it will take time for things to get back to the way they were before your _mother _came along." I open my mouth to protest, but he holds a finger up and continues his speech. "Yes, we are still a volatile society, but things will get back to the way they were with time."

"You say that people are not used to the idea of the games, but they seemed so excited at the ceremonies." I say quietly.

"Ha, Miss Lily, do you honestly believe that was all true? I have them so tight in my grasp that they will do anything I tell them to." My eyes widen in understanding. "Now, what I really came here for. Like I said earlier, I wanted to get rid of you in the games. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Your name will not be removed from the reaping ball, Miss Lily, and you can be sure that you will not make it out of the games again." He stands up and walks out of the room, leaving me stunned. It takes my mind a minute to fully take in what Kingsman has just told me. _Your name will not be removed from the reaping ball, Miss Lily, and you can be sure that you will not make it out of the games again. _

I'm going back into the arena.

Why is Kingsman so determined to get rid of me? I never meant to rile up the crowd at the interviews, I never wanted to start a rebellion. Okay, it's crossed my mind a few times, but I never would've tried it.

But now, I have no choice. If I don't start a rebellion, I will be dead in a year, and knowing Kingsman, my death will be slow and painful. If I do start a rebellion, than surely Kingsman will launch nuclear bombs and kill us all. To put myself before a whole country… that would be the most selfish thing I could do. No matter what I do, things will not turn out well, and either path leads to my death. If I must die, I will not bring down an entire country with me. No, I will not start a rebellion.

I hear the door creak open, snapping me back to reality. Mom walks into the room slowly, her face flooded with concern.

"I saw the Capitol car leaving. Who was in here, Lily?" she asks. I have to decide quickly whether or not to tell her about my talk with Kingsman, and how I'm going to die. I come to the conclusion that it would be better not to tell her, not to worry her.

"Oh, just Octavia. She wanted to apologize for getting so angry at me while I was being prepped for the recap." I say.

"Lily, you're as pale as a ghost. I don't think you'd get so upset talking to Octavia." I burst into tears and spill out the whole story. She doesn't say a word until I'm finished.

"Well. I guess we'd better savor the time we have left." She says calmly, though her voice catches on the word 'left'. She offers me her hand and we walk into the kitchen, where dad is sitting. When he sees my red eyes and mom on the verge of a breakdown, he grows concerned.

"What's going on?" he asks worriedly. I tell him the whole story as calmly as I can, but repeating Kingsman's words brings more tears to my eyes.

"What are we going to do?" I ask.

Dad takes a deep breath and says, "I think the first thing to do is tell Haymitch." _Haymitch, _of course. They could always confide in him when they needed advice. He will be able to help. I hope.

We start for the door, but quickly remember that we're under lockdown. We try the phone, but we are only met by an automated message reminding us that lockdown mean absolutely NO communication. The only thing we can do is wait until the lockdown is over.

Two days go by with no outside communication. No telephone, no television, we can't even open our windows. By the third day, we've run out of food. The poor families must have run out days ago. Who knows how long the district was on lockdown before we got home? Thankfully, we hear a knock on the door at about noon. A peacekeeper informs us that the lockdown is over. As she walks away, she glares at me. Mom, dad, and I quickly take the short walk to Haymitch's house. We knock, but there is no response. After about five minutes of waiting, mom just walks in. To say the shock of the scene waiting for us shocks us would be the understatement of the century.

Haymitch has his face on the table. A pool of blood surrounds him. There is no rise and fall in his chest. No life in him. Dead. More frightening than that, is what is in his cold hand. For some reason, I know the small slip of paper between his fingers is meant for me. With a tentative hand, I take the paper from his fingers. I was right, the paper is meant for me.

_Lily,_

_First him, then your family, then you_

- _K_

My hand shakes as I hold the message in my hand. This was Kingsman's doing. And his next victims: mom and dad. I would say I can't believe that he would do this, but after my encounter with him just days ago, I have to say I can. My attention turns back to Haymitch. It looks like he was… stabbed to death. There is even a knife left in his head from the attack. The room is so quiet; I swear I can hear the sound of my tears hitting the floor.

"No," I hear mom say. "No, he can't be dead," her voice shakes. She runs around me to kneel beside Haymitch's lifeless body. She sees the knife in his head and starts to sob. He was a part of our family. Sometimes I forget that we aren't related. I kneel beside mom and hold her hand. I feel tears flow in a steady stream off my cheeks, though I don't know if it's from Haymitch's death or the direct death threat to my parents, or maybe it's both. Dad kneels on the other side of mom. "Why? Who would do this?" mom whispers. I look back down at the slip of paper in my clenched fist.

"Kingsman," I whisper.

"What?" mom asks. In response, I hold out the crumpled message. She reads it and drops it into the pool of blood. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she's having a flashback. Dad and I take her hands and she grips them tightly and squeezes her eyes shut. After a few minutes the grip on our hand releases and mom exhales.

"You okay?" dad asks. Mom gently lifts the crumpled, blood-soaked letter off the ground and hands it to dad, her eyes still distant. After dad reads the note, he covers his eyes with his hands.

He throws his hands up in the air. "What can we do?" he says.

"There has to be something. We can't just give up and accept this death sentence," mom says.

"Then what can we do?" I ask.

There's a silence for a moment. We all have the same thought, but it's dad who's the first to say it. "Nothing, absolutely nothing."


	14. Flashback

Part 2

Victor. I still can't put that word with my name. _Lilly Mellark, victor of the seventy-sixth Hunger Games. _But now, that word defines me. It is what I am. Nothing more. In the past, people thought having that title meant riches, fame, and most of all safety. The truth is, being a victor means nothing. You are never safe. Never. Because I am a victor, I have to live with the knowledge that I will die slowly and painfully in the hands of president Kingsman in the place where I got my title.

No, being a victor means nothing.

School is not a mandatory thing for people like me, but I decided to stick with it. The work keeps my mind off the games. It's different now. Before I only had a few close friends. Now everyone thinks they are my best friend. And I hate it. I'm fifteen years old now, and I want to find love. But love is a weakness. Love would only hurt me and probably get someone else killed. Love is not an option anymore, but boys don't know that. No one knows that I have to die except for my mom, dad, and me of course, and that's how I wish to keep it.

I'm just walking into history class. The teacher is finishing writing something, today's topic, on the board. She steps away, and the words written on the board send my mind reeling.

_The Hunger Games_

Naturally, I dread this class every year, but this year will be worse than ever. I've already had some flashbacks, and they're not pretty, but I don't know what triggers them yet. What if something triggers one in class? Even if nothing does, I don't want to learn about the horrific thing I just had to compete in.

"Good afternoon class!" Mrs. Parker, our teacher says.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Parker," we say in unison. I notice that my voice quivers a bit.

"We have an exciting class today! As you can see, we are having our yearly lesson on the Hunger Games. This year is different, though. You are going to be watching part of the recap of the 65th Hunger Games!" Oh no… of all things we could have to do, this is the worst. I feel my fists clench. "Let's not delay!" Mrs. Parker turns the lights off and starts the projector. I want to run out of here screaming, hide under a blanket and never come out, but I refuse to let this fear rule my life. I force myself to watch. The first part is tolerable. The opening ceremonies, the interviews. But then the bloodbath starts and my mind goes blank for a moment, then I'm not at school, I'm standing in a field. The bloodbath from my games flashes before my eyes. I know it's not real, but it feels like it. I clench my fists and squeeze my eyes shut to try to block out the images, but they still play in my mind.

I feel pressure against my hand, like someone's holding it. I try to form a clear thought as to who it is, but I can't.

Without warning, I'm back in the classroom. I open my eyes cautiously and look at my hand. Yes, someone is holding it. I look up and my eyes meet those of Chandler Newcome. I've seen him before. He's like me, dark brown hair, blue eyes. I have to say, he's quite handsome. But that's not what I notice most about him. I notice him watching me. Not like other boys who practically drool every time I walk by, but… different somehow. Now, his bright blue eyes are filled with concern.

"Are you okay?" he whispers.

"Flashback," I whisper back. He nods in what looks like understanding, but there are only two people who can truly understand, mom and dad. Even though I know he will hopefully never understand how horrible the effects of the arena are, I can't help but find comfort in this small gesture of holding my hand. He sees Mrs. Parker approaching and quickly drops my hand.

"Lily, if you go sit outside you can," Mrs. Parker whispers.

"Thank you," I say graciously. I quickly walk out of the class and sit a good distance from the door to block out the noises from the class. I could go home, history is my last class of the day. But I wasn't given permission to, so I sit and wait. Besides, there's something I want to do.

The final bell rings and I stand up. Chandler finds me before I find him.

"Why did you hold my hand?" I ask once we're away from the crowd.

"My father has flashbacks. That's what helps him when he has one," he answers.

"Your father? Why?"

"During the war against Kingsman, he was taken prisoner and tortured."

"Oh… That's awful…"

"He was one of the three that were lucky enough to be freed."

"I guess that part's good. I'm really sorry to hear that. But how did you know I was having a flashback?"

"I don't know, I just sort of… knew."

"I can't thank you enough. I have to go… home." Before he can say more, I run home. I don't know why I'm running, there's nothing to run from. Why am I running?

I'm running from Chandler. No, not from Chandler. Something more. What I was running from is something you can't escape.

I like Chandler.

Not friend like, but like, like.

_No, _I think. I can't fall in love. Not with Kingsman watching my every move. Falling in love will only cause me and Chandler more pain, and Kingsman will probably kill Chandler if he finds out that I like him. No, nobody can ever know the truth. I'll have to add it to the ever-growing list of secrets I keep.

I walk into my house. Every time I come in, I fear that I will find a scene like we did at Haymitch's. To my relief my mom is standing at the stove cooking.

"Hey, Lily. How was school?" she asks.

"Terrible," I grumble.

"How come?"

"We had to watch a recap of the games and I had a flashback." I don't add,_ and I'm falling in love._

Mom drops her cooking and hugs me. "Oh no, honey, I'm so sorry. Are you okay now?"

"Yeah." That's a lie.

"Do you have any homework?"

"Nope."

"That's good. Go sit down and relax."

I turn on the television. There's not much on as usual. Just propaganda and stuff. I flip the channel and see a recap of my games is being played. I turn the channel off quickly and go to my room. I need some time to think about everything that's happened today.


	15. Just Friends

**Please review!**

It's lunch time. The now second most dreaded part of the day, second only to history. I'm lucky enough to find a seat alone. Most people have gotten over the whole "Oh my gosh, there's a victor at my school," thing, but there are a few that still stalk me. Lunch is the worst. Someone always comes up to me and wants to eat with me, most don't even ask. I would eat with Gina, but she has a different lunch period than I do. Most of the time I just pretend to save a seat for someone so nobody will sit with me. Today, I got lucky enough to get a table with only two chairs. Most people who use these are happy little couples. I look at them and think, _do you know how much I envy you? Do you know how badly I want to be like you? _As for the people like me who sit at them alone… well we're considered losers and no one bothers us. Or me I should say.

As I sit, playing with the flavorless soup, I hear someone walk up to my table. I take a deep breath and prepare to give the "seat saved" speech.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" a voice says. Chandler. I pick my head up.

"Sure, go ahead," I say. _No! _I scream in my head. _This is what you're avoiding! _Chandler sits down. He's got the same soup as the rest of us. As soon as Kingsman took over, our food supply has been restricted. When Kingsman says he wants everything back to the way it was, he means _everything. _Now, almost half of district twelve is dying of starvation. I hand out food every day to the poor since we can afford to buy food. Unfortunantly, the only thing Kingsman didn't change back to the way it was is the electric fence around the meadow. It's electrified full time, so there's no hunting, and no fresh meat. I do miss having the fresh meat, but butcher meat works too.

"So, how are you?" Chandler says, snapping me back to reality.

"I'm fine. How about you?" I say. I'm suddenly conscious of what I'm wearing, how my hair looks. This is bad, very, very bad.

"I'm fine. About yesterday, why did you run off so quickly?"

_Because I don't want to fall in love, _I desperately want to say. "I remembered I had to help my mom with…" Help your mom with WHAT! "Planting a garden." _IDIOT!_

"Lily, it's the middle of fall, and second of all, I know you're lying. You can tell me the truth." I look in his eyes. I want to tell him the truth more than anything. I want him to know that I like him. But he can't. No one can.

"I'm sorry… I… can't tell anyone the truth," I say. And I'm technically not lying.

"That's okay, and I'm sorry if me holding your hand made you… uncomfortable."

"No, it was fine. It actually helped a lot. I meant to thank you for it."

"I was worried that I'd seemed creepy. I'm really sorry about your flashback, too."

"It's okay. I guess I'll have to accept that they'll happen occasionally."

"What was it like, in the arena? If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine."

"It's okay. The arena… was terrifying. It's hard to describe. Just try to imagine not knowing when, if, and how you're going to die, having to kill little kids, and on top of that, losing your little sibling." I can picture Orion's terrible death in my head...

"You're thinking about your little brother, aren't you."

"Yeah. He was so sweet. He's the one that should be alive, not me." _And soon I won't be alive either._

"Neither of you deserved to die. I don't mean to keep pressing, but when he died, they cut away from it really quickly. Did something else happen?"

"They didn't show the flowers?"

"Flowers? No."

"After he died, I picked flowers and put them around his body."

"That's wonderful. I wonder why they didn't show it?"

_Because it's considered an act of rebellion _"I know… How did the little girl from eleven, Elaina, die?"

Chandler shudders. "A girl, from seven, killed her, but she did it really slowly and taunted her and…it was terrible."

"Bronwyn. I hate her more than anything. She was awful." The lunch bell rings.

"Do you mind if I eat with you tomorrow?" Chandler says.

"No, of course I don't mind," I say. _Why am I so stupid!_

"See you in history."

"Okay, bye." I walk in the other direction. I can't believe what I'm doing. I'm trying to avoid falling for Chandler, but I'm only making it worse! I guess if we're just friends, it's okay. But how can we be just friends when I'm falling in love?


	16. Here to Help

__**Please review!**

I'm doing my daily food delivery to the poor. I love seeing the faces of the little children when I'm able to give them a piece of candy. They get so excited. Today, I was lucky enough to be able to get a bag of peppermints. A little girl named Tara comes running up to me. Her family is one of the poorest of the poor. Both of her parents died, so her seventeen year old sister, Cora, takes care of them.

"Do you have food for us today?" Tara asks excitedly.

"Of course I do! I even have a little treat for you," I say.

"Yay!" she says. She flings her arms around me and runs back to her house, or shack, I should say. I follow her to go ahead and deliver food to them.

When I arrive at their house, I see Tara is frozen in the doorway. Something isn't right.

"Tara, what's wrong?" I ask.

"Jessi is sick," she says, all the excitement drained out of her voice.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Tara steps out of the way and I see her little sister throwing up into a bucket. Her face is pale and her tiny body shakes violently.

"Is there something you can do? Please, is there anything?" Cora says

"My mom might be able to help her…" I say. Mom claims she's not a healer, but everyone has seen what she did in the Hunger Games. She probably saved a few people's lives.

"Please take her," she says.

"Are you not going to come?" I ask.

"I need to stay here with Tara, but if it is… necessary, come get us," she says. I nod and lift Jessi's shaking body off the ground. Before I walk out, I slip my food stuffed backpack off my shoulders and leave it with them.

I walk as quickly as I can with Jessi, which isn't very fast. She looks like a porcelain doll; if I step wrong, she will break. Her gray eyes look past me most of the time, but in the few seconds that she registers my face, they widen in fear.

"It's going to be okay. I'm here to help you," I say. She relaxes a bit.

I fling the door to my house open. Mom opens her mouth to greet me, but when she lays eyes on Jessi, her expression turns worried. I expect her to be angry at me for bringing a sick person to her and say that she's not a healer, but instead, she clears off our table and lays a cloth down over it. She gently takes Jessi from my arms and places her on the table.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"She was throwing up at her house, and she's shaking badly," I say, which is stating the obvious, since her body still shakes uncontrollably. Mom opens a cabinet that I've never seen opened before. As she does, something flickers across her face. Pain. Is it some memory associated with Grandma? Aunt Prim? The pain is quickly replaced by determination.

"Go get Cora," mom says bluntly.

"Why?" I ask, suddenly concerned for Jessi's life.

"Just go," mom says. There is an authority in her voice that I've never heard before, but I don't question her again. I take off running for Cora.

As soon as I come through the door, Cora's face turns frightened.

"You need to come," I say as calmly as I can manage.

"Should Tara come?" she asks.

"I don't know. Bring her just in case," I say. Cora grabs Tara's hand and pulls her through the door. They keep up with my running pace. By the time we reach my house, they are both out of breath.

"Is she okay?" Cora asks.

"I don't know. When did she start getting sick?" Mom asks.

"A few hours ago. She had been out playing and when she came inside, she said she didn't feel well and started throwing up."

"Did she eat anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not that I know of."

"Are there any other symptoms?"

"She's been coughing a lot and she's had a runny nose."

"Okay, I think she may have the flu."

"The flu?"

"It's been nearly eradicated, but it still occurs every once in a while."

"Is it deadly?"

Mom pauses for a moment. She takes a deep breath and continues. "In young children, it can be." Cora puts her hands on her face. Mom looks at me and nods toward a chair. I take Cora's arm and guide her to the chair. Then, I grab two bowls and fill them with soup for Cora and Tara. They accept them graciously. Mom injects some clear fluid into Jessi's arm and gives her some water.

"There's nothing we can do but wait. I'm pretty sure that medicine will work, but I can't guarantee it," Mom says.

"Am I going to die?" a quiet voice says. We turn around to see Jessi looking straight at us.

"Not on my watch, sweetie," mom says. Cora looks relieved to hear Jessi speak. Mom turns back to face Cora with a small smile on her face. "She's going to be fine," she says.

Cora sits for hours holding Jessi's fragile hand. Her face lights up whenever she comes out of her deep sleep. We gave her a good dose of sleep syrup, so she asleep for a long time. By the time dark falls, mom sends the three of them home with orders to bring her back if she isn't feeling better in three days. When they leave, mom sends me straight to bed. I want to object, but I see the dark circles around her eyes and I go to my room obediently. Until my head hits the pillow, I don't realize how exhausted I am. I fall asleep in seconds.


	17. Overnight

_I'm running through a dense jungle. He chases me from behind. I know who the boy that is chasing me is, but I refuse to believe it. Why is he chasing me? I did nothing bad to him. But I did do something to him. It was an accident, but it's still my fault. I look back for a moment. Long enough to see that he has a knife. A vine catches my foot and I trip. The boy tackles me from behind and pins me under his legs. His expression is cold, unlike the warm expression I'm used to seeing on his face. His eyes narrow. "You let me die," he says. "Now you will pay." I watch helplessly as my little brother brings a knife down on my heart. _

I wake up thrashing around in my blanket and screaming. _It was just a dream. It was just a dream. _It felt so real. I swear I can still feel Orion's knees on my arms. My door creeks open and mom enters the room.

"Nightmare?" she asks.

"Yes, no, I don't know," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" most of the time, I can talk about my nightmares, but tonight, I don't think I can. This has been the worst one yet. I can't make myself talk about it.

"No," I say. Mom gives me a perplexed look, but she nods and walks out of the room. Now more than ever I wish for someone to be here with me. Someone who understands what I'm going through. Not someone like mom or dad someone like…

No. I will not think that way.

I force myself to close my eyes and fall back into an uneasy sleep, the image of Orion's cold eyes burned into my memory.

"Good morning class!" Mr. Hatly, my homeroom teacher, says.

"Good morning, Mr. Hatly," we say.

"I have a special surprise for you!" Oh, great. Surprises at school are never good. "We have been given special permission by the Capitol itself to take an overnight trip to the Panem history museum!" the class breaks out in applause. Not me though. It's not the Capitol part that bugs me, it's not the Panem history part that bugs me, it's one word that really makes me nervous.

_Overnight. _

I'm bound to have nightmares. I have them every night. What will people say if I wake up screaming? _Will they laugh? Will they think I'm crazy? _It's not questions like these that bother me the most. The question that bothers me the most is one I'm trying to keep from thinking, but I can't help it.

_What will Chandler think? _

_ It doesn't matter._

_ Yes it does._

So many conflicting thoughts run through my head. I hope it isn't mandatory to go on the trip. If it isn't, I won't go.

"Since this is a Capitol funded trip, all of you will be required to go," Mr. Hatly says. Sometimes I wonder if people can read my mind. "The trip will be two weeks from today."

Two weeks… two weeks. Two weeks to get ready for this. That's all. I don't want to do this. This trip is going to be a nightmare. Literally.

I can't focus in the rest of my classes. The more I think about the trip, the more worried I get. Most of that worry comes from my concern about what Chandler will think. _It doesn't matter. _I think to myself over and over, but it _does _matter. I shouldn't really worry that much. He was one of the few people who've seen me have a flashback and not think I'm crazy, but those I deal with silently. Nightmares on the other hand, I don't handle so quietly. I scream. A lot. _It doesn't matter. Yes, it does._

Chandler and I have gotten into a habit of eating with each other. I'm glad to have someone to talk to. We're comfortable around each other. Like old friends. Yes, friends. Nothing more.

Today, Chandler can immediately tell something is wrong. I try my best to act normal, but he can see straight through me.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say.

"It's the trip, isn't it?"

"Yeah,"

"Don't sweat it too much. The more you think about it, the worse it's going to be."

"I know it's just…" Do I trust him enough to tell him about my nightmares?

"Just what?"

Yes, I do trust him. "I have nightmares. And I always wake up screaming."

"Oh…" he doesn't seem to know what to say. I accidentally knock my bowl of broth on the floor. We both bend over to pick it up. When we reach for the bowl, our hands touch. We look at each other for a second before we pull our hands away, his holding the bowl.

"I'll, uh, go get some napkins," I say, not just to clean up the spill, but also because I can feel my cheeks burning red. I still feel the place where our hands touched. _No. _I tell myself. _Just friends. _

After the spill is cleaned, neither of us say much. I know something changed just then. He felt it, too.

No matter how hard I try to suppress the feeling, I want our hands to touch again.

The lunch bell rings.

"See you tomorrow." He says. Our eyes meet for just a second. There's a glint is his bright blue eyes, a look I can't place. I quickly turn away, the blush returning to my cheeks. As I walk out, I spot a tall, muscular boy watching me. He doesn't look familiar, he must be new.

As I walk to class, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm being watched. Something in the way that boy was watching me doesn't sit well with me. I try to forget about it, but for some reason, I can't.

In English class, my thoughts constantly drift to other places. The boy, the games, Orion, the trip, but most frequently, Chandler. I know that I won't soon be forgetting the second our hands touched.

History is even worse than English. It's hard to keep my thoughts anchored when the person causing them to drift is sitting right next to me. It must be clear that I'm distracted, because once the final bell rings, Mrs. Parker keeps me behind.

"Is everything okay, Lily?" she asks.

_No, _I think to myself. "It's nothing. Just worried about the overnight trip, that's all." I say. It's not completely a lie.

She nods. "I would say I'd try to get you out of it, but I can't" she's been rather protective of me since I had my flashback.

"Why?" I ask.

She thinks for a minute. "I can't say. I'm sorry," she says. "You can leave now." I start to walk to the door. "Wait," she says as I'm reaching for the door knob. "Just be sure and watch your back. That's all I can say."

I walk out of the classroom confused. Chandler waits for me outside the door. He looks concerned.

"Is everything okay?" he asks.

"I don't know… Mrs. Parker told me to watch my back," I say.

"Why?"

"I don't know, she wouldn't say, but she said there was a reason she couldn't get me out of going on the trip. She didn't tell me the reason though.

"Something's not right." I know he's right. In fact, I have an idea of why I have to go on the trip. Kingsman. Why else would I have to go? Why else would I have to watch my back?

There is another reason I need to watch my back. As Chandler and I leave the school, I spot the black-clothed figure of the boy who watched me in the cafeteria.


	18. It Holds You Together, It Rips You Apart

**Sorry this chapter is so short!**

"A _what_!"

"An overnight field trip to the Capitol."

"No. You are not going."

"It's mandatory."

"You've got to be kidding me."

Mom is really mad about the trip. _Really_ mad. I think I handled it better than she did, which is bad because I didn't handle it all that well.

"I'm really worried about it, too. I'll probably end up with nightmares and then everyone will think I'm a freak."

"I'm more concerned about the fact that you will be within walking distance of Kingsman!"

"I know me too. I'm trying my best to forget about it."

"I don't see myself being able to do that." She walks out of the room shaking her head. I pack my backpack full of food to deliver to the poor. My first stop is to Tara's house. Little Tara has been much more subdued since Jessi got sick, but she still hugs me every time I come. I always wonder how they can be so happy when they have barely enough stay alive, but my question is answered when I see Jessi and Tara hugging Cora. They have family. As long as they have that, they have everything.

It feels so good to see the smiles on the faces of the people that I deliver food to. They are so appreciative when I give them the smallest things. It makes me feel greedy and spoiled. I wonder if I would be able to live without all the money my family has?

When I'm done with my rounds for today, I head back home for dinner. Tonight we have chicken and carrot stew with bread. I long for the taste of a fresh turkey or deer, or even a squirrel. With the fence electrified full time, we will never have that kind of food again.

More than the fresh meat, I miss the evenings we spent eating by the fire, talking, laughing. All of that flew out the window with the games. We still talk, but it feels more like trying to make a few more descent memories before next year. No one brings up the trip.

After dinner, I help mom clean the dishes. Dad walks out of the room. I feel like I need to tell mom about Chandler. She might be able to give me some advice.

"Mom, there's something I need to ask you about," I say nervously.

"Okay, what is it?" she says. I'm suddenly not sure about telling her.

"I have a friend at school… It's a boy… and…" I don't know how to finish, but mom understands.

"What's his name?"

"Chandler Newcome."

"It's okay to like someone, Lily. You're acting like you've got a disease or something."

"I know, but I don't want to hurt him when I…" I can't finish.

"Oh, I see. Love is a hard thing. It can hold you together or rip you apart. It heals or it hurts." I can see in her eyes that she's remembering something. A bad memory from the games. Her words are so poetic, that it takes me a minute to understand them.

Love can keep you together in the hardest of times.

Love can rip your heart apart when you have to make a choice based on it.

Love can heal a broken heart.

Love can break your heart.

Mom knows this better than anyone. She has experienced all sides of love. I am beginning to understand how love can rip you apart. Half of my heart says to follow my heart and fall in love with Chandler. The other half says to just be friends to keep from breaking his heart.

But a realization hits me. No matter what, he's going to be hurt. Will he? If we stay just friends, will he mourn my death?

I know what I need to do. Something I've wanted to do for a long time, but never had enough courage to do it.

I am going to tell Chandler about everything. About how Kingsman wants me dead, about how I have to go back into the games, and about how will ultimately die. I will decide which side of my heart to follow then.


	19. A Place of Refuge

"Chandler, I need to talk to you," I say. The urgency in my tone brings him to a halt. "Not here." I say. He gives me a puzzled look, then nods.

"Come on, I know a good place." He says.

We walk along the edge of the fence, which hums with electricity until we get to an area of town that I never knew existed. It's a bad place. I've heard of the Seam, but this is beyond the poverty I've seen there. Still, we keep walking until we reach a hole in the fence. Chandler slides under it with no problem. I hesitate, scared that I will hit the fence and be electrified.

"Trust me," he says, and I do. I'm about to trust him with my deepest secrets, I think I can trust him about a fence. I slide under the fence and hop up unharmed. For a moment, I forget why I'm here and I immerse myself in the beauty of the meadow. I thought I'd never see it again. I run my hand against the rough bark of a tree. The feeling is so familiar, so real, I forget for the first time how much danger I am in. I extend my arms out and breathe in the familiar, natural smell of the meadow. It feels so good to be back here, back to a time when I was safe. I suddenly remember that I'm not alone and I drop my arms, embarrassed at my childish behavior.

"How?" I ask, still in wonder.

"The Capitol doesn't care about this place. I don't know if it's even considered a part of the District. They never repaired the fence here." He says. "Come on, we're not there yet." Not there? How could there be a more perfect place to talk than right here? If Chandler thinks there is, I'll follow.

We start to walk again. I'm still so in awe of my surroundings that I hardly notice when Chandler reaches out and takes my hand. When I do notice, I don't pull my hand away. I'm now nervous about how he will react to this bomb I'm about to drop on him.

He stops suddenly. I look up to see a familiar place. The lake. The place mom and dad took me on the hottest days of summer and taught me to swim. We hunted some water fowl, and dug up some Katniss roots, the plant my mom was named for. I know I should be happy, but for a second, I'm angry. How does he know about this place? This was my place. My family's place.

"How do you know about this place?" I ask with a slight harsh edge to my voice.

"My mom and I hid here after they took my dad." He says. My anger washes away. This is a place of refuge for him, for me, for my mom.

"I used to swim here," I say, the harshness erased from my voice. "This was my favorite place." I can't help but smile at the warm memories I see here. I can almost see a younger me splashing around in the cool water with a little…

My happiness washes away and is replaced by tears. I see a happy Orion chase after me in the water while mom tells us not to swim out far and dad smiles as he watches us.

"What's wrong?" Chandler asks.

"Just memories," I say.

"Orion," he says, I nod. He starts to walk again, our hands still intertwined. We enter the small house. Every time I see it, I wonder who lived here before. Before even the first rebellion. It may have been a place of refuge for others like it is for Chandler. Like it is for me.

"So, what do you need to tell me?" he asks. I take a deep breath. I'm scared to tell someone about these secrets, but at the same time, I want to get all of this off my chest. I close my eyes, and I see President Kingsman. Not a flashback, just a memory. I shudder, and begin my story.

I start with the recap, and how Kingsman told me he hated me, and then how he came to my house, told me again how much he despises me, how much he wants me dead, about the nuclear threat, and then I get to the part about my name being reentered in the reaping. I can't seem to get the words out of my mouth.

"And… and… and…" just spit it out "He told me my name would be back in the reaping… and that I wouldn't make it out again." I look at Chandler's face through my tear-filled eyes. In his eyes, I see sadness, and that same thing I still can't place, and underneath that, I see a deep, burning anger. Is that anger directed at me? The Capitol? Kingsman?

I finish everything off by telling him about Haymitch and the note. About the direct death threat to my parents and I.

We both sit in silence for a moment, me wiping tears from my face, him absorbing the things I just told him. It's me that speaks first.

"Will you still be my friend? I ask quietly. "Even though you know I'm going to die?"

"Of course I will," he says. There's a hint of surprise in his voice. He reaches his hand out and puts it on my shoulder. "But I don't think you're going to die. You're smarter than they are. You'll make it back."

"Yes I am. If I don't die in the games, then I'll die some other way. Public execution, some sort of "accident", anything along that line.

"Why tell me all this? If you thought I wouldn't be your friend if I knew, why not just keep it to yourself and pretend like nothing's wrong?"

I take a deep breath. The words I'm about to say are going to be some of the hardest I've ever said. I'm taking a huge leap of faith with the four words I'm about to say. "Because I like you."

I feel blood rush to my cheeks and I look down at my feet. There is relief in saying those words, but also great danger. I almost wish I could take them back. Almost. I force myself to look at Chandler, who sits silently. As soon as I do, he speaks.

"I like you, too."


	20. Happiness

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_I like you, too. _The words echo in my head until his voice saying those words is stuck in my mind. A huge smile breaks out across my face. I can't tell if it's from joy, relief, or both. Without thinking, I jump up and throw my arms around him. I start laughing and crying at the same time. For once, I cry happy tears. I feel like I can allow myself to be free of worry, even if for the smallest time. He wraps his arms around me, too. His arms feel strong and sturdy, but not hard. _Love can hold you together, _I hear my mom say in my mind. In a time when my life is crumbling apart, I have something to hold me together, to help me keep my sanity. I feel something, an emotion so common, yet so alien to me now.

Happiness.

It's been so long since I've felt happy that I've forgotten what it feels like. Being happy feels… I can't find the right word for it. Being happy feels happy. That's the only way to describe it.

Chandler pulls away from our embrace enough to see my face.

"I have some things to tell you, too," he says. I sit back down on my bench and listen while he tells his story.

"When I was young, I lived in District Two. Our life was easy. We had money, food, shelter, security. Or at least we thought we did. The war with Kingsman began, and District Two was his home base. Most people supported him in the fight to get the Capitol back in control, but a few brave souls, like my mother and father, were rebels. They held meetings in old underground nuclear shelters that not even Kingsman knew about. They had a plan to kill Kingsman, but Kingsman had a plan to kill them first. The peacekeepers came in the night. If Kingsman had even a scrap of mercy in his body, he would've killed them, but he didn't. The night after they took my father, we ran. My mom, my little sister, Jenna, and I. We ran into the woods. We never knew what district we were in, or if it was a rebel district or a Capitol district, so we stuck to the woods. One day, we were running and a pack of wild dogs started chasing us. She wasn't fast enough. The dogs got ahold of Jenna and killed her. I can still hear her screams." He shudders and wipes a tear from his eye. "Anyway, we knew we had to keep moving. We never found any shelter, until we got here. When we saw this little house, we thought we'd found a safe place, and we had. Until Kingsman took over. Someone found us and told us we had to move into the District, but we had no money, nowhere to live, so we settled in the Dump. And that's how we came to live here."

"The… Dump, is that the place where the hole in the fence is?" I ask.

"Yep, Home sweet home," he says.

"What about your dad?" I ask. I end up regretting it when I see the pain flicker across his eyes, but he speaks.

"Most of the Captives died of starvation, sickness, or from the torture. Not my dad, though. He somehow toughed it out. He wouldn't tell them anything, but Kingsman knew he knew more than anyone else, so they sent him to a forest. Only, it wasn't a real forest, it was fake. And it had jabberjays. They manipulated small sound recordings from my mom, Jenna, and me and let the jabberjays record it. Then they let them go. One by one, into the forest where my father was. He stayed strong and didn't give them any information. But they started sending out more jabberjays, and made the screams more intense. Still, he didn't break. They finally took him out and tried electrocution, whipping, they even resorted to something called caning where they hit him with bamboo rods." He sighs. "They decided it was futile, and as a punishment, they shipped him out here to twelve. Yep, some punishment. Sent him to be with his family. Certain things still trigger flashbacks. Like mockingjays. They look so much like a jabbrjay that he thinks its song is a scream. Whenever he has one, he squeezes his eyes shut and puts his hands over his ears. We hold his hands to remind his that it's not real. That's why I held your hand that day when you had one. I figured it might help."

I look at Chandler's face. Telling his story obviously brought a lot of emotion to the surface. I reach out and take his hand. He manages a small smile.

"Come on," I say. "There's one more thing I want to do."

We walk through the forest with our hands linked, both of us knowing each other's story, each other's secrets. We were able to take some heavy weights off our shoulders today.

_Love can heal_

I finally get to the place I was looking for. I reach inside a hollow log and my hands lock around my bow. It feels so good to have it in my hands again. I pull my arrows from a tree. For a moment I hold the bow and sheath of arrows and look them. If I never come back here, I want to see these things one last time. My grandfather made this bow. My mother provided for her family with it. I helped feed our family with it. It's a wonder it hasn't rotted and fallen apart by now. I put an arrow on the string and pull back. I send the arrow into a tree. My last shot with this bow. I yank the arrow from the tree and hide the bow and sheath in their places in case someone else needs them one day. I turn back to Chandler and we start the silent walk back to the Dump. I feel bad, calling it the Dump, even though that's what it is, but it's so much more. It's Chandler's home.

"Did you know a girl named Carmen Hawthorne?" I ask now that I know he's from two.

"Yes," he says without hesitation. "We were best friends."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's okay. She was so nice. I wish I could've seen her one more time before she…" we both know what he means.

When we reach the hole, I slide under without hesitation. I look back at the meadow one last time.

Long enough to see a dark figure hiding in the bushes.

"Chandler," I whisper fiercly. But it's too late. The figure disappears into the meadow before he can see him.

"What?" he asks.

"Come on," I whisper. "Come on, we need to get out,"

"Why?"

"We're being followed. Someone was watching us in the woods."

"Oh, no."

I pull Chandler's arm, "We need to go."

"Where?"

"My house," We take off sprinting for my house.

By the time we reach the door, we're both out of breath, but we don't stop until we're inside the house with the door closed. Mom and dad look at us quizzically. They knew I'd be out long than usual today, but they didn't expect me to come running in the house with a boy.

"Lily, if we're having company, I need some prior notice." Mom says. There's a hint of teasing in her voice.

"Sorry," I say, still panting. "No time. We were being followed."

"Followed? By who?" dad says.

"A boy in black. He's been watching me for the past day or two, but we just saw him in the meadow and-" I start. Dad cuts me off mid-sentence.

"Wait, how were you in the meadow to begin with?" he says.

"Where I live, they didn't repair the fence. We slipped under. Went to the lake." Chandler says. Mom and dad give me that look like they give me when I'm in big trouble.

"_We were talking,_" I say defensively. I look at mom through the corner of my eye. She looks at me for a moment, and the nods.

"Okay, we trust you," she says. Mom's eyes dart back and forth between Chandler and I for a second, then her eyes rest on me. The look on her face asks me a question: _Is he the boy you like__? _I give her a subtle nod, and she smiles.

"By the way, my name's Chandler," Chandler says. I'm glad he did, because if mom said his name, he'd know I talked to her about him. I don't really want that to happen.

"Would you like to stay and eat with us?" Mom asks politely. Dad nearly chokes on the glass of water he's drinking.

"Sorry, I, uh, I can't. My parents will worry about me. Thank you for the offer," he says. "Bye, Lily."

"Bye, Chandler," I say.


	21. Don't Stress

Today is the day I have been dreading for the past two weeks. Yes, the trip is here. I stand in between Chandler and Gina with my fists clenched, biting my bottom lip. I almost got sick this morning, but unfortunately, I didn't. There's no way out of it.

"Lily, you're going to be fine. Don't stress," Gina says. I wish I could believe her. Chandler reaches out and takes my clenched hand. I don't relax it.

"Try to relax. The more you stress about it, the worse it will be," he says. The teacher comes out to assign us to our train cars.

Chandler, Gina, and I got lucky enough to be put in the same train car. As soon as everyone has received an assignment, we file into the bus. I can hear the reaction of the kids as they see the train for the first time. I'm probably the only one that's ever seen a Capitol train or Capitol anything before, so whatever is in the train shouldn't be a surprise.

But it is a surprise.

It's the same train I rode to the Capitol.

I gasp. Chandler and Gina see the shock and horror on my face and take my hands.

"What's wrong?" Gina asks.

"It's the same train…" I say distantly.

"What?" Chandler says.

"I think she means it's the train she rode to the Capitol," Gina says. Chandler nods. An attendant directs us to the room where the other students have assembled. We're the last three to enter.

"Welcome students," a man in a suit says. "You all have been given a great privilege to be able to travel to the Capitol. We expect all of you to be on your best behavior. There is to be no running, no yelling, no roughhousing, and absolutely do not break _anything. _We have left early enough to arrive at the Capitol by eight o'clock tonight. You will be staying at the museum. There you will have one hour for dinner. Curfew will be at nine-thirty. In the morning, you will have a two hour tour of the Panem history museum. After that, you will board the train again. We will arrive back in district twelve at about ten o'clock at night. Are there any questions?" Nobody raises their hand. "We will call you in one hour for breakfast. If you are in car 1, you are dismissed." Gina, Chandler, and I are in car five, the last car. It takes a long time for our car to be called. There are slightly less people in our car, only seventeen instead of twenty. That's one good thing I guess.

"Car five," an attendant says. The seventeen of us stand up and quietly file out behind the attendant. I notice that one of the people in the car is the boy that watches me. I shudder. I'm almost positive that he's the one who was following Chandler and me in the meadow.

We walk into the car, which is unfamiliar to my relief. The walls are a nice teal color, the couches and chairs are green, and the tables are a deep brown color. Overall, the room looks nice, but it's too Capitol-ish. The attendant stays in the room to monitor us. I go to a corner of the room and sit with my knees pulled up to my chest. All I want to do is go to sleep, but I can't. I don't want to have nightmares twice. Gina and Chandler kneel beside me.

"Lily, you can't stay in the corner the whole time," Gina says.

"Watch me," I say.

"It might not be as bad as you expect," Chandler says.

"You're right, it could be worse," I mumble.

"Again, the more you stress about it, the worse it's going to be," Gina says

"I know, I know," I say.

"At least come out of the corner," Gina says.

"No," I say.

"You're worried about people thinking you're weird. Well let me tell you, you look kind of weird sitting in a corner, now come on and at least sit on a chair," Gina says. She's got a point. I get up slowly and walk to the plush green chair.

"See, it's not too bad, is it?" Gina says.

"No," I admit. The soft chair is much more pleasant than floor. Gina and Chandler take seats beside me. Most of the kids in the room talk to each other, laugh, smile. I wish I could be like them again. I miss the days when my thoughts were about what I was going to do after school, who I would marry one day, unlike now when my thoughts are about how I will die. I sigh, remembering those days. My thoughts unwillingly drift to Orion. I see his smiling face, I see him running through the woods, I hear his laugh, I feel his arms around me.

Someone gives me a little shake. "Lily," Chandler says, snapping me back to reality. I feel something wet on my cheek. Chandler brushes it away. That's when I notice the silence in the room and everyone's eyes staring at me. Was I crying?

"Are you okay?" Gina whispers.

"I think so," I whisper. Everyone turns their eyes away from me. Except the stalker kid, he continues to watch my every move. I suddenly have a thought about the kid. Maybe he's a spy for Kingsman. No, that's ridiculous. He's probably just strange.

The door finally opens. "Breakfast!" the man in the suit calls. The attendant steps in front of the door and we line up behind him. He leads us down a long hallway to a door.

"Sit at the place with your name card," he says. He opens the door. I'm pretty sure the seats are in alphabetical order, so I head to where I guess the middle is. I find my seat in between Chandler's and Gina's. I'm glad that our last names are so close together. Mayer, Mellark, Newcome. Gina slides by me and into her seat. In front of us, we have a menu with five different entre choices, and four different beverages.

"Everything looks so good," Chandler says. His eyes are wide with amazement at the choices. It occurs to me that he might have never had this type of food like this. Most of us haven't, or at least not in years. I remember the days where bacon, eggs, and pancakes were a normal, everyday breakfast. Now, that's a luxury only available to the Capitol.

The attendants come to take our orders. I notice that none of them speak. They simply tap our shoulders when they are ready to take our order. Something doesn't seem right about their silence; like they don't talk because they can't.

A memory resurfaces in my mind. Mom told me that they used to cut out the tongues of people who committed crimes and make them slaves. Avoxes, I think they were called. I shudder, thinking about how terrible it must be to be a mute.

An Avox taps my shoulder. It feels wrong to order her around, but I don't have a choice. "I would like bacon, eggs, and pancakes with hot chocolate please," I say. The girl smiles and scratches something on a notepad and moves on to Chandler, who gets sausage, eggs, and waffles with orange juice. Within minutes, the Avoxes are bringing our drinks out. The Avox sets a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of me. I take a sip of the warm drink. It burns my mouth, but the heat is welcome. The only other time I've ever tasted it was in the Capitol. It may be the only good memory from the Capitol.

"What's that?" Gina asks.

"Hot chocolate," I answer.

"It smells _so _good," she says.

"I wish I had gotten some," Chandler says.

Before they can drool over the hot chocolate anymore, the Avoxes bring out our breakfast. Chandler's eyes widen at the amount of food on his plate. It infuriates me that Kingsman knows that people are starving and does nothing but restrict our food even more. I look over at Chandler who is shoving bite after bite in his mouth and my anger only grows. It isn't fair. Our country was perfectly fine before Kingsman came along and wanted _everything _back to the way it was. If he had left things the way they were, I would never have been in this predicament. I would be living a normal, happy, teenage life with my brother. No one would've died because of me. No one would be starving.

But then again, I never would've met Chandler.

How in the world did I find a positive in that?

"This is more food than I've eaten all week," Chandler says.

"I know," Gina says. I feel guilty for having enough money to be able to afford three meals a day and still have enough left over to give food away and still have more after that. I must seem so spoiled and snobby to them. My appetite seems to leave me all of the sudden.

"Do you guys want the rest of my food?" I ask, pushing my plate away from me. Chandler and Gina both refuse, but I can see the hungry look in their eyes and I divide the remaining pancakes and bacon between the two of them. They protest for a minute, but hunger gets the best of both of them and the eat it. The Avoxes gather our plates and we start filing back to our rooms. As we walk back, I notice that the stalker-boy is smiling suspiciously. I have the bad feeling that something is about to go very wrong.

As soon as we walk into the room, the attendant announces that he needs Chandler, Gina, a kid named Floyd Recher, who I assume is the stalker-boy, and I to follow him. The attendant tries to keep his expression unreadable, but it's plain to see that he's terrified of something. He stops us at a set of doors. Before he opens it, I swear I hear him say, "Nice knowing you." Again, I get the feeling that something is about to go very wrong.

And I'm right, because when the doors shut behind me, I'm staring into Kingsman's eyes


	22. Definition of Evil

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I gasp. Chandler's hand tightens around mine. Gina stares blankly. Floyd gives an evil chuckle and shoves past us to stand beside Kingsman. Kingsman nods at Floyd.

"Sit," Kingsman says, motioning to three chairs in front of a desk. We reluctantly obey. I drop Chandler's hand. He gives me a quizzical look. I wish I could tell him how vital it is not to let Kingsman know about our relationship. Kingsman laughs. "It's fine. _I know._" He says. "I have eyes and ears everywhere, Miss Lily. _I know everything._"

"What do you want?" I ask harshly.

"I figured you should know that my dear friend Floyd here has been watching you."

"I knew it!" I shout, jumping up out of my seat.

"Please remain seated, Miss Lily. I am only telling the truth. I honestly cannot believe you, Miss Lily. After I all but _tell _you that you are going to die-"

"Wait, what?" Gina says. I should've told her about this predicament. I should've known she would be dragged into this no matter what. I give her an apologetic look.

"Do not interrupt me, Miss Gina. As I was saying, I cannot _believe _that you would go fall in love and have a best friend. I thought you were smarter than that Miss Lily. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I am not going to live my life in fear. You can take everything away from me, but you can't stop me from living a normal life," I say through my gritted teeth.

"I see. Now, I am going to go ahead and let you three in on a secret, and I swear you tell one person I will kill you and the person you tell."

"Like it matters," I mumble. Kingsman gives me a look somewhere between smug and annoyed.

"Anyway, all of the games from now on will have four tributes per district instead of two. Oh, and look. We have two girls and a boy right here. Won't that work perfectly?" I bury my face in my hands. Chandler puts a hand on my back.

"You can't put Lily in the games, she's a victor," Gina spits at Kingsman.

"Miss Gina, I'm President Kingsman. I can do _whatever I want._" I look up enough to see a tear running down Gina's cheek. Kingsman laughs maniacally. "You might as well get yourself a boyfriend, Miss Gina. Then we'll have a perfect set."

"I would never," Gina says, clearly in disbelief.

"You may leave now," Kingsman says. "Miss Lily," he says just before we walk out. "You brought this upon yourself." He and Floyd laugh cruelly.

"None of this is her fault," Chandler snaps. He gives me a gentle push toward the door. "You can do whatever you want, I will still love her."

"Except kill you," I hear Kingsman say as the door closes. Even when the door closes, I hear the haunting noise of Kingsman psychopathic laughter.

"Come on, let's get back to the room," Chandler says. I wish I could get back to the room, but as soon as I take a step, I fall to the ground. Chandler and Gina kneel down beside me. I start to cry harder than I've ever cried before. Nothing either of them does consoles me. I hear someone I think might be the Capitol attendant say something about a separate room. Then, I feel myself being lifted off the ground by Chandler's strong arms. I hear a door open and I look up just enough to see the room that I stayed in on the train. As much as I despise the room, the privacy is welcome. I hear the door close behind us. Chandler sets me down on the bed.

"It's okay," Chandler says softly.

"No, it's not," I choke out.

"Nothing you could've done could've prevented this," he says.

"I know, but this is all my fault," I say.

"This will all work out,"

"How? With all of us dead?"

"I don't know, but we'll figure something out. At least one of us will be…" we know what he means.

"Kingsman is going to do everything he can to hurt the people I love. We're all going to die!" I hear a sniffle from beside me. I look up enough to see Gina with a steady stream of tears coming out of her eyes. "What's wrong Gina?" I ask.

"I don't want to die," she whispers.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you will be dragged into all of this," I say.

"All of what?" she asks. I have no choice but to tell her the whole story.

"I should've told you this earlier. I'm sorry," I say once I'm done. "Are you mad?"

"Of course I'm mad!" she shouts. I cringe. "Not at you," she adds. I breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm mad at Kingsman. He has no reason to hate you, no reason to torture you like this, he is this dictionary definition of evil!"

"And psychopath," Chandler adds.

"Gina, you have to promise that you will not tell anyone about any of this," I say.

"I won't," she says.

"Not even your parents," I say. A flicker of pain crosses Gina's face. I know that she feels like she should tell her parents that she's pretty much doomed, but she can't.

"Okay," she says. There's a quiet knock at the door. The attendant peeks his head in.

"Are you ready to go back to the room?" he asks.

"Lily?" Chandler says.

"Yes," I say. Chandler takes my hand and we walk back towards the room. I still have a few tears running down my face, but I quickly brush them off. When we step into the room, everyone turns their head to us. They crowd around us, asking what happened, where the other kid is, why I'm crying, after a few seconds, I'm fed up with it.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I shout. Everyone immediately quits talking. An outburst like that from me is rare. I stomp over to the corner and sit down. Nobody bothers us after that. Chandler and Gina sit on either side of me. This time, they don't try to get me out of the corner. We all need some time to think.


	23. Run Away

**I'm so glad to know that people are enjoying this story! Thank you to all of you who have left reviews! Please don't be afraid to give me your honest opinion. If it's terrible, please tell me!**

"Everyone in line, we are about to exit the train," The man in the suit says. People are practically jumping up and down with excitement. They remind me of the people who greeted Orion and me as we got off the train for the first time. Only, this isn't forced. "You are to remain in a single file line. If you decide to go… exploring, we will put you on a train home right now. Do you understand?" the man says. Everyone nods eagerly. "Good. Children of District Twelve, welcome to the Capitol." The man opens the door. People at the front gasp, ooh, and ah, people near the back crane their neck to try to get a glimpse of the Capitol. We start to file out, the faces of my classmates light up as they see the putrid pastels and tall buildings of the Capitol. This place must seem so friendly, so inviting to them. If only they knew how dangerous and terrible this place is.

The walk to the museum takes a long time. The icy winds bite through the thin jackets most people have from home. I feel guilty for having a heavy, warm coat from Cinna. When we finally step foot into the museum, everyone breathes a sigh of relief as a warm air washes over us. The man opens a door and we walk down a flight of stairs. He stops at the next door.

"Through this door is where you will be sleeping and eating. When we enter, find a seat at a table. You will be allowed to sit with your friends this time. Thank you for following all of the directions so far," he says. He swings open the door, revealing a beautiful room with red walls, black carpet, round tables with white table cloths, crystal chandeliers; this is the Capitol at its finest. Chandler, Gina and I walk to the table in the far corner where no one else is sitting. Neither of us says anything for a while. Gina finally says something that really shocks me.

"We should run away," she says.

"What?" I say, stunned that she would come up with an idea like that. "Do you feel okay? I think you've lost your mind."

"I'm serious. We can't let Kingsman kill all of us. There's got to be a way out of this," she says.

"There's no way we could pull it off. Kingsman would find us," I say.

"I think we could," Chandler says. "I know how to get into the meadow. We could run to thirteen."

"Are you crazy? We'd never make it. We'd run out of food or water or Kingsman would find us," I say.

"He'd never suspect that we'd run. He thinks you'd never leave your family," Chandler says.

"Well, he's right. I wouldn't leave my family for anything," I say.

Chandler's voice softens. "We'd come back, Lily," he says. "After this whole mess has been sorted out, we'll come back. If we stay… you'd never come back." He has a good point. Either way I go I'd be leaving my family, but if I stay, I'd never return. Neither would Chandler or Gina.

"I'll think about it," I say. "But how are we going to pull this off? We don't even know where Thirteen is. Plus, there's my victory tour to think about…" In truth, I'd forgotten about the victory tour all together until now. It starts in one week.

"We can leave after that, it will give us time to prepare. As for Thirteen, we're in the Panem history museum. They're sure to have a map here somewhere," Gina says.

"Okay, but…" I trail off, seeing the Avox coming to take our drink orders. All three of us get hot chocolate this time. The heat will have a calming effect on us. I wish they would put sleep syrup in it and knock me out.

"So we leave after the victory tour?" Gina says.

"Maybe, but we need to think this through first. Let's find out how far away Thirteen is first, then we'll talk about it," I say. A part of me thinks that this might be the way out of this death sentence that I've been searching for. Another part is apprehensive to go into the unknown, risk being captured by Kingsman, and leave my family behind.

"Wait, why don't we bring our families with us?" Gina says.

"No," Chandler says. "That would be too many people to deal with. Too many mouths to feed."

"And I don't want your families to get hurt because of us," I add. "Plus, my parents would never agree to let me go."

"Neither would mine…" Gina says. The Avox sets the three cups of hot chocolate in front of us.

"Thank you," I say. She smiles. I get the feeling that not many people appreciate what she does. We all take a sip of the silky drink. The warmth feels so good after the freezing cold outside. I feel my muscles relax just a little bit. "Are you two prepared to accept the possible consequences?" I ask.

"Like what?" Gina asks.

"Oh, we could be killed, tortured, turned into Avoxes. When my dad was taken by the Capitol, they did something called hijacking. He won't explain it to me, but I know he still has nightmares and flashbacks about it," I say. I shudder, thinking about what it might be.

"Well, I guess it's either death, or the possibility of death.I think running would be our best chance of survival, no matter how slim the chances are," Chandler says. Gina and I nod in agreement.

"We should probably look at the menu…" I say, trying to change the subject. None of the choices look exactly appealing, so I just order the lamb stew, which is good, but I don't exactly have an appetite for anything from the Capitol. I only eat about a third of the bowl. No one says much except for the occasional comment on the food. I'm starting to get more and more nervous about having to sleep in the same room as all of these people. I think I will just stay awake the whole night, but the more I consider that idea, the more exhausted I get.

"Curfew is in thirty minutes. Is there anyone who needs to use the restroom?" The man in the suit asks. Almost the whole room raises their hand. The man gives an exasperated sigh, and takes five boys and five girls out of the room.

"Okay, your beds are going to be over here," an attendant says. "Girls will be on the right, boys on the left. I trust that you all will stay on your sides. Please go find the bed with your name tag on it." I find my bed, or cot really, between Gina's and someone's named Bree Nettles. Most of the people are already crawling under the soft blankets provided to us, or finishing up a conversation with their friends. I don't want to go to sleep yet. The longer I can put off sleep, the longer I can put off nightmare. I know they're going to be terrible tonight now that I know that Chandler, Gina, and I will die in the arena, die in the running away, or die by torture. We're all going to die no matter what and it's all my fault.

"Everyone in bed, lights out in one minute," the suit-man says. I reluctantly crawl under the blanket.

"You okay?" Gina whispers.

"Yeah, I guess," I say.

"Lights out!" the man shouts. The lights flicker off just seconds later. I hold my eyes open as long as I can, but they grow heavy very quickly. It's not long before sleep pulls me under.

It doesn't take long for the nightmares to start.


	24. We Could Do This

_I'm running through a dense jungle. Chandler and Gina run beside me. I hear my brother scream from behind me and come to a stop. The green snake mutts are swiftly gaining on us. I start to run again. I yell for Chandler and Gina to run faster, but it's no use. Gina is knocked to the ground by one of the mutts. I scream her name, but a cannon fires, confirming she is dead. Chandler goes down next. He lets out a blood curdling scream before his cannon fires. I feel claws on my back and I'm knocked to the ground. I expect to see the dripping fangs of a mutt, but instead, I'm staring at President Kingsman. He laughs, but doesn't kill me. He raises a syringe full of what I believe is tracker jacker venom above my heart. The needle stabs into my chest and the world goes white._

_ When I'm able to see again, I'm in the same jungle, but there are no mutts, no Chandler, no Gina, no Kingsman. A terrible scream fills the air. It's Chandler's scream. I yell his name and start searching frantically for him. I try to run out of the tiny clearing, but I can't. There's an invisible wall between me and the jungle. I hear another scream. More and more fill the air… _

"Lily!" a voice says. My eyes fly open. My breathing is heavy and my entire body shakes. I look around frantically. To my embarrassment, the lights are on and I'm surrounded by five Capitol attendants, Gina, and Chandler. Everyone else's eyes are trained on me.

"Are you okay?" Chandler asks. He takes my shaking hand. I shake my head.

"Why in the world were you screaming?" One of the attendants asks with an edge of annoyance to his voice. I open my mouth to speak, but I can't get any sounds out. Silent tears of embarrassment start to fall down my cheek.

"She had a nightmare," Chandler says, "because of the arena." A flicker of understanding crosses the attendants' faces.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea…" an attendant says. She stands up and shouts, "Everything's fine. You can all go back to sleep." She kneels back down. "You can stay over here for as long as you need," she whispers to Chandler. When all of the attendants walk away, I see that, as I expected, people are looking at me like I'm crazy. More tears start to flow from my eyes. The lights go off, but they leave a few dim lights on the wall on. It provides just enough light for me to see Chandler and Gina.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Chandler whispers.

"You, and Gina, and me, and mutts, and…" I'm cut off by a choking sob. I see all of the people around us turn their heads toward us. Some people give sympathetic looks, others give annoyed looks.

"It's okay," Chandler whispers. "You're okay, I'm okay, Gina's okay, there are no mutts." He gently strokes my arm. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?" I nod. He stands up to leave, but I grab his hand and pull him back .

"Stay here?" I whisper. He kneels back down beside my cot.

"Okay," he whispers back. I lay my head down on the soft pillow and close my eyes. With Chandler's hand in mine, I drift into a peaceful sleep.

_**Morning**_

__"Everyone up!" someone shouts. "Get to a table, we don't have much time!" The first thing I notice when I open my eyes is that Chandler isn't anywhere in sight. I panic for a moment, but I quickly spot him moving toward the same table we sat at yesterday. I slowly make my way there, too. There's already a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes at our places.

An attendant sits down at an empty chair at our table. "Are you feeling okay?" she asks. I think she's the one who was so considerate last night.

"I've been better," I say groggily. "Sorry I caused such a disturbance last night."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault," she says. Judging by the look on her face, I think it's safe to say that she is not a supporter of Kingsman. "If anyone gives you a hard time about it, child or adult, just ask for Tessa, that's me. Okay?" I nod. "Good. I hope you enjoy the rest of your time in the Capitol." Her last sentence sounds rehearsed.

"Ten more minutes, everyone!" someone yells. I start shoveling as much food as I can into my mouth. I hardly ate yesterday, so I'm starving today.

"Don't forget to try to find a map of the districts," Gina whispers. "Take note of anything else that might be important." Chandler and I nod. Chandler looks like he can hardly keep his eyes open.

"Sorry I kept you awake last night," I say.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," he says.

"Everyone line up!" the suit-man shouts. I go straight to the back of the line. As soon as everyone is in line, the man begins his instructions. "We are about to tour the Panem History Museum. I expect all of you to continue your good behavior. Do not touch anything behind the rope, an alarm will go off, and do not stray from the group. Got it?" Everyone nods excitedly. "Good, then off we go!" He leads us back up the stairs and into the lobby.

"Our first stop is the rise of Panem," the man says. He gives a long, boring speech about floods, increasing temperatures, war, growing oceans, blah, blah, blah. He shows us some artifacts saved from the time before Panem. He shows us an old cell phone, something not even Capitol citizens are allowed to have anymore. You could carry it around with you everywhere and call anyone whenever you needed or wanted to. Also, you could do something called texting, where you typed someone a message and send it directly to them. You could send pictures and videos, too. I wonder why we don't have them anymore. Then, he showed us some clothing that people our age might have worn. I expected that they would've had a lot more modest clothing than they did. It's not like the Capitol at all, but it's nowhere close to what we wear in the districts. We get to see something called a laptop, which is a computer you can use on your lap. These are old and outdated now compared to what the government uses, but no one else can have anything even similar to them since they might be used to communicate between the districts. People before Panem had it made, but they used their technology to hurt the planet, which is why we live like we do now.

The next place we go is the dark days exhibit. District thirteen was destroyed in the rebellion, or at least people thought. They rebuilt the district underground. Mom and dad lived there during the second rebellion. The man allows us to walk around and look at the graphic pictures from the rebellion. Chandler, Gina, and I stick together as we look at picture after gory picture. Just before we move on to the next exhibit, I see it. A map of Panem. I grab Chandler and Gina before they walk out of the room and we look at the map. We know we live on the edge of twelve near the top, but that's about all we have to go off of. District twelve is in the east, surrounded by forest. District thirteen lies above us, with a forest between us. It's not that far from us to thirteen. I look at Chandler and Gina, and I see the same look in their eyes that I know is in mine.

They have the same thought that I do.

_We could do this. We could run away. _


	25. No Hope

"Lily," a voice whispers. Ordinarily, I'd sit up and reach for my nonexistent bow, but something stops me from doing it. It's that familiar Capitol accent. I know what today is. I know they're coming. Just not this early. I groan and roll over.

"It's victory tour day!" someone else shouts. I grudgingly open my eyes. Unsurprisingly, I find my prep team leaning over me. Octavia and all.

"Come on, let's get you ready!" Flavius shouts. They practically drag me into a tub of acrid smelling liquid. They make me soak in it for a while before transferring me into a less noxious liquid. After a little while in that tub, they rinse me off and set to work on prepping me. Flavius and Venia chatter away about the condition of my appearance.

"Your eyebrows, Lily. Why didn't you trim your eyebrows?" Flavius groans.

"Just like her mother," Venia says as she runs a razor across my legs. I'm glad to be able to evade another waxing. Sadly, Octavia must ruin my happiness and wax my eyebrows. That's not nearly as bad as the last time though. Flavius brushes my hair out and puts it into a simple French braid. Venia paints my fingernails a pale blue and applies a little bit of makeup to my face. When they are satisfied with their work, they walk out to get Cinna. I stop Octavia before she can leave.

"Octavia," I start, "I know you are still mad at me, and I know nothing I do will ever ease the pain in your heart, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I killed your granddaughter. It was cruel, it was heartless, and I regret it every day. I'm sorry that I have caused you and your family so much pain, that I caused your daughter to commit suicide. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," she says, taking me of-guard a little bit. "I understand that you were only trying to protect yourself and your brother. You're right, the pain will never go away, but I don't blame you for her death."

"You don't?" I ask,

"No, I blame Kingsman for all of it. I'm sorry that I got so mad at you the last time we met."

"Don't be sorry. I know you were really upset. It's okay."

"I better go. Cinna should be coming in now." She walks slowly out of the room. I feel so much better knowing that she forgives me, and even better knowing that she despises Kingsman, too.

The door opens slowly and Cinna walks in. Cinna. Just being in the same room as him has a calming effect, especially after the constant chattering of my prep team.

"It's good to see you again," he says.

"It's good to see you too," I say.

"I see you've come to terms with Octavia."

"Yes, I talked to her. I still feel really bad, though."

"That's understandable." Anita bursts into the room. I'm glad I've got my robe on.

"Hello, Lily! Cinna, can you pick up the pace a little, we have to film the segment about her talent in thirty minutes!" she says. What is she talking about? Talent?

"Of course." Cinna says.

"What is your talent Lily?" Anita asks.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say.

"What! You don't have a talent? This is great! You better come up with something quick!" she shouts. She storms out of the room talking to herself.

"Okay, I'm confused," I say.

"Every victor is supposed to have something that they do in their free time. Even though you're in school still, you still need a talent. Is there anything you can do well?" Cinna says.

"Well… I can sing pretty well…" I say apprehensively. The last thing I want to do is sing for the Capitol.

"Sing for me," Cinna says. The first song that comes to mind is the one that I sung for Orion, I don't know if I'm ready to sing that song again. The only other song I can think of is The Hanging Tree. I take a deep breath and sing the first verse.

_Are you are you coming to the tree_

_ Where they strung up the man they say murdered three_

_ Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be_

_ If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree_

Cinna starts to clap. "Very nice. I'd say that would make a phenomenal talent. Do you know any other songs?"

"Um… Not off the top of my head," I say.

"Okay, just sing the rest of that song. It's beautiful." He hands me a warm light blue sweater and a pair of jeans to put on, then he hustles me into an empty room where Anita and a camera crew are waiting.

"Please tell me you figured something out," Anita says.

"Don't worry, you will be pleasantly surprised," Cinna says. He turns to me and says, "Alright, show them what you can do." I hesitantly step in front of the cameras.

"And, action," the cameraman says. I close my eyes and let my voice fill the room.

_Are you, Are you  
Coming to the tree  
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three  
Strange things did happen here  
No stranger would it be  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree_

_Are you, Are you  
Coming to the tree  
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee  
Strange things did happen here  
No stranger would it be__  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree?_

_Are you, Are you  
Coming to the tree  
Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free  
Strange things did happen here__  
No stranger would it be  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree._

_Are you, Are you  
Coming to the tree  
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.  
Strange things did happen here,  
No stranger would it be,  
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree_

I open my eyes up. Everyone's eyes are filled with tears. "Cut," the teary cameraman says.

"That was beautiful," Anita says. "Go get ready for the next part." She walks out of the room.

"Alright, the next thing is going to the train station. There will be cameras, so be ready to smile and wave," Cinna says. He hands me a heavy jacket. "Don't put it on quite yet, you've got about fifteen minutes." I walk downstairs in time to hear the tail end of Anita's conversation with my parents.

"She's amazing! Who knew we had such a wonderful talent hidden right in front of us?" Anita says. The three of them turn around when they hear me enter the room.

"So, you're a singer, huh," dad says.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think you'd need a talent since you opted to stay in school," mom says.

"Don't worry about it," I say. The camera people come to film my parents and I. They show us doing normal stuff, talking, laughing. They ask us questions, but they conveniently avoid the subject of Orion. Finally, Anita announces that I have to get ready to go to the train station. I put the heavy jacket on, which is very, very, warm, and step outside. I plaster on a fake smile and wave to the cameras. Mom and dad come out behind me, followed by Cinna and Anita. We walk to the train station, the mob of cameras trailing closely behind. Even as the door shuts, the reporters stick their cameras in. It's only when the train lurches forward that we are free of reporters and cameras. I fall into a chair, exhausted from the early awakening.

"Where's the first stop?" I ask.

"Eleven," Mom says. Elaina's home. I never really knew her, but she's always stuck with me. It's even worse knowing that she had a painful death by Bronwyn and Calden.

"What do I do?" I ask.

"You give a speech, the Capitol provides one for you but you have the option of adding your own touch," Mom says. She shudders, remembering something bad associated with the tour. "You get flowers and a plaque, and then you eat at the Justice building." She hands me a piece of paper with a speech on it. "I wouldn't stray too far from this."

"When will we get to Eleven?" I ask.

"Tomorrow afternoon," dad says. "You should go study your speech." He's right, but I don't want to recite something given to me by the Capitol thirteen times. I walk slowly to my room and slump on the bed. My eyes skim over the speech. The beginning is fine, just a little introduction, but the rest is terrible. It talks about how the Games are something the districts brought upon themselves, how their rebellious actions are the reason for the games, and how the districts deserve the games. There is no question as to who it wrote this. Kingsman. I refuse to give this speech. While my mind struggles to come up with a replacement for it, I notice a tiny, hand-drawn arrow in the bottom corner of the paper. Curious, I flip the paper over. To my surprise, there is a letter on the back, and it's addressed to me.

_ Lily,_

_ You are smart enough to know who wrote this speech and who is writing this letter now, and I am smart enough to know what you are thinking. I know that you are horrified with the speech and that you are trying to come up with a replacement. However, I insist that you give this speech that I have written for you. It took a long time for me to find the perfect words and I would be crushed if they were not used. _

_ I know that you do not care if I am crushed or that I spent many hours writing this speech. You probably believe that it is a lie. However, the choice is yours. Think it through, Lily. Think a long, long, time before making your decision. Keep in mind the things I have shared with you in our previous meetings._

_ -K_

_ P.S,_

_ Don't try to fool me, Lily. Remember, I have eyes and ears everywhere. I know everything. That includes your little plan. I thought you were smarter than that, to talk about something so publicly. In the Capitol, even. Rest assured, Lily, you can run, but you can't hide._

My hands shake with fear and fury. How could he know? How? I guess it was pretty stupid to discuss something so secretive with so many people around us. How many other accomplices does Kingsman have living amongst us? I can't keep the silent tears from falling down my cheek. I have no choice but to stay in District twelve and sentence Chandler and Gina to death. There is no way out. No hope. The more I think about it, the harder I cry. A sob threatens to escape my mouth, but I stifle it to the best of my ability. Nobody can find out about this, especially not mom and dad. They cannot find out about our plan to run. It would hurt them so badly to know that I was driven to that point of desperation.

I sit down on the bed and negative thoughts fill my mind.

You're going to die

There's nothing you can do about it

He's going to kill you and your friends, too

There's no hope

No hope

No hope

I can't suppress the sobs anymore. The best I can do is try to keep them in as quiet as possible and hope no one hears me.

No hope, I hear again in my head.

There's a knock on my door.

"Go away," I shout through my sobs. I immediately regret it, knowing that it's only inviting whoever it is to come in.

And they do.

I look up, expecting mom or dad or Cinna or Anita or someone else I can't talk to.

But the person standing in my room is a welcome one.

Someone who I can talk to.

Someone who I have to talk to.

Chandler.


	26. Before We Go

**I'm sorry to say that updates are going to be slow to nonexistent for a month. Summer vacation :) Don't stop reading, though. I promise they will pick back up!**

I don't hesitate before running into his arms. When he wraps his arms around me, I feel warmth from deep inside of me that I know has to be connected to Chandler. I'm happy, but I can't stop crying. These tears, however, are happy tears. For a moment, I feel safe. Like there might still be some hope. I savor that moment for the short time it lasts.

"How?" I ask once we pull away. "How are you here?"

He smiles. "Your parents thought you'd like to have a friend with you," he says. His expression turns serious. "Why were you so upset when I came in?" In response, I hand him the piece of paper, which is now crumpled. I must have crushed it in my hand while I was crying. He looks confused as he reads the speech.

"Flip it over," I say. He does. When he reads the post-script, his eyes widen.

"How could we have been so blind?" he asks. "He told us that he had eyes and ears everywhere. We should've known."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm so sorry that I drug you into this mess." I feel sad tears welling up in my eyes again, but I blink them away. He puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. This isn't your fault," he says.

"How is this not my fault? I should've just locked myself in my house and this never would've happened."

"That's no way to live, Lily. You can't let Kingsman ruin your life."

"He's ending it, not just ruining it."

"He hasn't ended it yet." Before I can say something about how he essentially has killed me, and how he's essentially ended his life, and how it's my fault, mom calls us to lunch.

Lunch is probably the happiest meal I've eaten in a long time. To my relief, dad seems to have gotten over his aversion to me having a boyfriend. In fact, he seems to approve of Chandler. We talk and we laugh almost like there isn't a death threat looming over our heads. I didn't tell mom and dad about the incident with Kingsman on the train, so they don't know that Kingsman is sending Chandler and Gina into the arena, too. I'm finally able to introduce Chandler to Cinna. They get along very well, but then again, I don't know too many people who he doesn't get along with. The meal is delicious, too. Far better than what they served us on the field trip. When I'm done, I'm absolutely stuffed. Saying that my eyes are bigger than my stomach would be an understatement.

The rest of the day is quite like lunch. We seem to always have a conversation going, something rare normally. Most conversations are about things Anita has done in the Capitol, parties mostly. Chandler handles her constant chatter better than I would've if I'd never really been around Capitol people before. He smiles politely and doesn't interrupt her stories that nobody but her cares about. The train comes to a stop.

"I thought we weren't going to get to eleven until tomorrow?" I ask.

"Probably just a fuel stop," dad says.

Cinna walks into the room. I never even noticed he was gone. "Actually, there was a malfunction with one of the parts. It's going to be about forty-five minutes to an hour before we're on the road again." He says. Anita sighs loudly.

"There went the schedule," she says.

"Why don't you two take a walk?" Mom suggests. Chandler and I hop up and walk to the door.

"Be back in thirty minutes," dad says just before we walk out. Something in his eyes suggests that he doesn't completely trust us yet.

"Okay," I say with a smile. Dad gives me a small smile back. When the door shuts, Chandler takes my hand and we walk along the edge of the tracks. There's something so peaceful about just walking. The grassy fields beside us have a thin layer of snow on them, the sky is clear, the air is clean. I feel like I can breathe.

"How can you handle… you know… Kingsman so well?" I ask.

"I don't know…" he says.

"Are you not afraid?" I ask.

"Yes, I'm scared out of my mind," he says, sending a pang of guilt through me. "But… I'm more afraid for you than me."

"Why? I've done this before; you're the one who should be crying their eyes out, not me."

"No, you have every right to be upset. You've experienced the Games firsthand and you know how horrific they are, but no matter how hard I try, I know I will never understand how bad they are until… I'm in them."

We walk in silence for a few minutes. Chandler suddenly comes to a stop, surprising me a little bit. He looks like he's making a hard decision. "What?" I ask. He looks at me uncertainly, his cheeks burning red. He puts a hand on my back.

"Before we go into the games," he starts. He takes a deep breath, "there's something I want to do." He pulls me close to him and kisses me right on the lips.


	27. Beautiful Things

I walk onto the train, still in a happy daze. Until I look at the clock. We're ten minutes late. Dad greets us at the door with his arms crossed and foot taping.

"You're late," he says.

"Sorry..." I whisper. I look at dad's face. He's waiting for an explanation. "We were... distracted."

"And what, exactly were you distracted by?" he asks.

"Um..." I start. Great... I all but told him we're hiding something. "I was practicing singing and we lost track of time."

"Right," dad says. I can tell that he doesn't believe my story. "You're lucky. The train's leaving in five minutes." He walks out of the room. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"So you sing?" Chandler asks.

"Yeah... I didn't know I did until this morning, so it's a surprise to us both," I say. "It's my talent."

"Talent?" he says with the same confusion I had this morning.

"All the victors have one. It's what they're supposed to do in their free time. I just found our about them this morning."

"That makes sense. I guess most victors don't go to school."

"I'm the first." We're silenced when the train begins moving again. I look longingly out at the blur of orange, yellow, and pink of the sunset, thinking how I have just a few months left to enjoy such beautiful things. When I was little, I wondered why my parents always watched the sunset, why they got so excited over such ordinary things. Now, I understand. They knew that beauty is not something that should be taken for granted. I wish I had realized that sooner and savored every moment of my life. I think about the sunsets I watched, but didn't savor. The wildflowers I looked at, but never took time to smell. The days I spent running in the meadow, not realizing how big of a miracle it was. Things I loved, but took for granted.

Chandler puts a hand on my shoulder. "What are you thinking about?" he asks.

I sigh. "How many sunsets I have left," I say. For a moment, we watch the colors of the sky as they flash by. We're moving so fast that they all become one. One beautiful color. A tear runs down my face and Chandler brushes it away.

"The sunsets are beautiful, aren't they," he says.

"Yes," I sigh. "There are so many beautiful things that I never noticed before." Mom and dad come in the room. Mom smiles for the first time it what feels like forever. Dad still looks at us with suspicion. With fresh thoughts about taking things for granted in my mind, I jump up and hug mom and dad. Hugs. Another thing to add to the list of things I used to take for granted.

"What are you two up to?" Mom asks without a hint of worry or suspicion in her voice.

"Watching the sunset," I say. A flash of sadness crosses mom's eyes, but she wipes it away.

"Cinna and Anita will be here soon," dad says. As if on cue, Cinna and Anita walk in. We sit down and our servers, all Avoxes, bring us each a plate with pieces of toasted bread, each with a different topping. I savor the distinctly different flavors of each one. Some are sweet, some are spicy, some are sour, some are citrusy, and some I can't describe with words. As soon as we're finished, the servers bing out our next course, pieces of beef wrapped in bacon. The meat is tender and cooked beautifully and the bacon gives it a subtle saltiness. It's unlike anything I've ever had. I'm reminded of the deer that we used to eat at home before the meadow was closed off. Yet another thing I took for granted. Desert is something my mother calls cheesecake. I turn my nose up at first. Cheese does not belong in desert. Mom convinces me to try it, though. Turns out, it's cream cheese, not regular cheese. Sweetness spreads throughout my mouth. The sweet cream cheese compliments the strawberries on top of it perfectly. I think cheesecake is my new favorite food.

As soon as the servers take up our plates, mom sends us to bed. Chandler is sleeping where Orion slept, right across from me.

"I trust that you two will behave," dad says. He raises his eyebrows and I know what he means. My cheeks turn red.

"Peeta, do you honestly think..." mom says. She shakes her head. Before they walk off, I hug them both. When I hug mom she whispers in my ear, "Don't mind dad, he's just trying to protect you." I smile. For a moment, I consider telling her about the two new threats from Kingsman and our failed escape plan, but. I don't. I can't. She'd be so upset. Dad takes mom's hand and they walk off toward their room. As soon as I hear their door shut, I hug Chandler.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"For what?" he asks.

"For loving me despite everything that's happened." A floorboard creeks, causing Chandler and I to let go. It's only an Avox cleaning up the remains of dinner. She smiles at us and gets back to her cleaning. Chandler leans down and kisses my forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." he says. I walk into my room, the same one I stayed in on my way to the Capitol. The nightmares are sure to be bad tonight. I slip on a pair of soft pants and a loose shirt and crawl beneath the soft blanket. I keep my eyes open as long as I possibly can, but they soon slip shut and I fall asleep.

I dream that Bronwyn has me tied to the ground. She holds a knife over my heart. I scream, but it only sounds like a faint whisper through a tightly tied piece of cloth around my mouth. Bronwyn grabs a chunk of hair and yanks my head up, causing me to cry out through the cloth. She slams my head against the ground and I almost black out. I couldn't be so lucky. She raises the knife over my heart. I try to close my eyes but they are held open. A hauntingly familiar smile spreads across her face, but the smile is not hers. Her face morphs into the face the smile belongs to, Kingsman. He brings the knife down on my heart and the world turns black.

I sit up in my bed and scream, my hand immediately goes to my heart. I pull it away, expecting blood, but it is dry. I feel someone's hand on my back. I let out a small shriek and move away from the hand.

"It's okay, Lily, it's just me," someone says. The voice is Chandlers. I exhale in relief, but I still shake violently. "It was just a dream," Chandler reassures me. I repeat it over and over in my head, but I still continue to shake. Tears start to flow out of my eyes. They quickly turn into heavy sobs. Chandler takes his hand off my back for a moment, then, I feel him sitting next to me. His arm goes around me and bury my face in his chest. "It wasn't real, Lily," he says.

"It felt," I sob, "like it."

"You're okay. No one's going to hurt you," he says. Slowly, I stop sobbing and shaking. I try to close my eyes,but every time I do, I see Kingsman bringing the knife down on my heart. "What happened?" he asks quietly.

"Bronwyn was about to kill me, but then she turned into Kingsman and he stabbed me," I say. It feels good being able to talk through my dreams. They seem a whole lot less frightening in words.

"They're gone now," he says. I suddenly feel embraced that about the way I handle nightmares. Why can't I be like dad, who just gets paralyzed with fear? Though mom won't say it, I know I handle nightmares a lot worse than she does. We both scream and thrash around, but I cry and shake and scream even after I wake up. Maybe it's because I don't have someone to deal with the nightmares with me. But tonight I do. With Chandler's arm still around me, I fall back into a dreamless sleep.


	28. The Victory Tour

"Rise and shine!" Anita shouts. I open my eyes and find that Chandler isn't beside me. Good. My parents would be furious if they knew he came in here last night. I quickly get ready, knowing another morning of prepping awaits me, and walk into the dining room. Mom, dad, Cinna, and Anita are there already.

"Good morning!" I say. My voice sounds so cheery that it surprise me.

"How did you sleep?" mom asks. She was worried about not being able to hear me if I had a nightmare.

"Okay," I say. "What about you?" I ask.

"Not to well. This place brings back a lot of bad memories," she says. Chandler comes into the room. We only have time for a quick breakfast before I'm whisked away by my prep team. According to them, they don't have much to do, but it still takes them at least an hour to finish. They soak my hair in at least three different concoctions before curling it and leaving it down, take the light blue paint off my fingers and replace it with bright red, put light makeup on my face, all while constantly chattering. Eventually, I just close my eyes and tune them out until I hear Venia say that Cinna will be coming momentarily. I can't help but wonder what my outfit will be.

Cinna comes in carrying a long, black bag. He unzips it and pulls out a long, strapless red dress with black ribbon around the bottom.

"Won't it be a little cold for that?" I ask.

"No, eleven is pretty warm, but I have something to go over the dress anyway," Cinna says. He slips the silky dress over my head, fastens one button on a small black sweater, helps me into tall black high heels, and fastens my mockingjay pin onto the sweater.

"Still going for the 'Girl on Fire' look?" I ask.

"Yes, but not as directly," he says. "Do you like it?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

Cinna smiles. "I know someone else who will like it." My cheeks turn red. Hopefully he didn't notice through the amount of blush I have on. We walk back into the dining room. Everyone drops what they're doing and stares at me.

"Definantly not going for the little girl look, huh," mom says. She smiles sadly.

"Not this time," Cinna says.

"You look beautiful," dad says. I smile. That's when I notice Chandler in a suit with a red tie. My smile widens. Before I can say anything, the train comes to a screeching halt. The doors open and two peacekeepers come in to escort us out. They wear hard, almost angry expressions. Just before I hop onto the ground, I realize that I never prepared a speech. I consider going back and getting the one Kingsman prepared for me, but I couldn't give that speech if I tried. No matter how bad the consequences. What will the consequences be? I haven't even considered that. It's not like he can threaten to kill me, he's done that already. He can't threaten to hurt my family and friends, he's done that, too. He's used nearly every threat in his arsenal. All except one...

He could torture us.

Would he really do that over a speech?

Before I can think about it more, we are ushered into an armored car. There's barely enough room for all of us to sit on the hard benches. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Am I seriously turning into a claustraphobic? I close my eyes and imagine being in a wide, open field, but that only makes me think of the arena. Suddenly, the small car doesn't seem so bad.

The car comes to a stop, and we are escorted to the justice building. There is a huge audience waiting for us. If I thought District twelve had it bad, I was wrong. There isn't one person here who isn't starving. I feel so bad for them, I wish there was something I could do to help them.

A man, who introduces himself as the mayor, gives a short welcome speech. As he does, I look at the families of the dead tributes. I look at the boy's family first. Two older people, who must be his parents stand with three young children, a boy and two girls. They look like they are trying to stay strong, but I cans see a glint of tears in the eyes of his mother. I take a deep breath, knowing that it will be hard to see Elaina's family. What I see when I turn my head shocks me. Only one little girl stands on the podium. She looks almost like an exact copy of Elaina, only younger. Elaina must have been her caretaker. I feel so guilty looking at this frail little girl, all alone, no one who cares about her. A tear comes to my eye, but I blink it away.

Before I know it, there's a microphone in my hand. I take a deep breath. "Hello," I start. I know what I have to say now. "I never had the chance to know either of the tributes, but I wish I had. I know that nothing I could do would mean anything now, but I want the families to know that I am deeply sorry for their loss. If there was anything I could've done to keep them alive, I would've done it. Again, I want you to know how sorry I am for your loss." I feel like I should say more, but I can't find words. I look up and see that Elaina's little sister is crying. Without thinking, I run off the stage and hug her. "I'm so sorry," I whisper to her.

"It's okay," she whispers. I walk to the platform the boy's family is standing on and hug each one of father thanks me, and gives me a sad smile. I walk back onto the stage with tears in my eyes. The mayor hands me a huge plaque and bouquet of flowers. I thank the crowd again before walking into the justice building.

"How bad was it?" I ask.

"It's wasn't bad at all. It was beautiful," mom says.

"That wasn't what Kingsman gave you, was it?" dad asks.

"Nope. Not even close," I say.

"What did he give you?" dad asks.

"A whole long thing about how the districts brought the Games upon themselves and they deserve it," I say.

"Did he really expect you to give that?" mom asks.

"Yeah. Can you believe that?" I say. Mom and dad shake their head. We walk through a set of doors and into a large room where we eat a modest, compared to the Capitol, lunch. The food is good. Much more like home used to be before Kingsman took over. As soon as we're done, we are taken back to the train to go to district ten. This entire day has been a blur. I feel like I just woke up, like none of this ever happened.

I never got a good look at eleven. The fence surrounding the district makes our fence back home look like nothing. There are peacekeepers with guns guarding the fence. There would be no escaping to hunt here, even if the fence wasn't electrified. Through the fence, there are never ending fields of green. People methodically bend down to pick whatever is growing there. Occasionally, a shack pops up in the distance. The living conditions here make even the Seam look inviting.

Every day is the same. Wake up, get prepped, give a speech, get a plaque and flowers, eat a meal, get back on the train. None of the districts have conditions as bad as eleven, but some are still pretty bad. The hardest part is seeing the families. All of them are still saddened by the loss of their children, brothers, sisters, or lovers, but a few, like the families of Bronwyn and Calden, look like they're plotting ways to kill me. The hardest by far is District Two. The man on Carmen's side, Gale, is not just heartbroken over loosing his daughter, but he looks at my mother with a pained and almost... longing look. I get the feeling that my dad wasn't the only one who loved my mom. Mom can't even bear to look at him. She has tears streaming down her face the whole time we're in two. Thankfully, we don't stay long before being whisked away to district one. Since the two districts are so close together, we visit them in the same day. Then it's off to the Capitol. I'm not prepared for the Capitol. I don't want to see the faces of twenty-four grieving families. Also, I don't want to have to sing for the Capitol, but that's a minor worry compared to the others.

I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. I'm too worried about having to visit the Capitol tomorrow. I quietly walk out of the room. There's a faint humming sound coming from the living room. I peek around to see my mother sitting on the couch. She's humming a tune that is unfamiliar to me.

"What song is that?" I ask. She jumps a little at the sound of my voice.

"The valley song," she says. "My father used to sing it when I was little."

"What are the words?" I ask. She takes a deep breath and sings.

"Down in the valley, the valley so low

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow

Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow

Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,

Angels in heaven know I love you,

Know I love you dear know I love you,

Angels in heaven know I love you

Build me a castle, forty feet high

So I can see her as she rides by

As she rides by, dear, as she rides by

So I can see her as she rides by.

Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,

Angels in Heaven know I love you

Know I love you, dear, know I love you

Angels in Heaven know I love you."

When she finishes, I have tears streaming down my face. The song, for some reason reminds me of Orion. Mom is crying too. It must remind her of Rue or Aunt Prim.

An idea comes to my mind. The song isn't hard to learn...

Suddenly, I'm not afraid of having to sing for the Capitol anymore.


	29. Roses Love Sunshine, Violets Love Dew

"So, what will I be wearing for the Capitol?" I ask.

"I think you'll like it," Cinna says. He orders me to turn around and close my eyes. I feel him slip the dress over me. When I feel it settle on my shoulders, I start to open my eyes. Cinna stops me though. He sets to work on my hair. Whatever he's doing with it doesn't take long. "Now you can open your eyes," he says. I turn around. The girl... No, woman, in the mirror hardly looks like me. But it must be. My dress if a soft orange color, like the sunset. It's strapless, with small, sparkly rhinestones scattered across the top. My hair is clipped up so the dark brown curls hang over the clip. I spin around, making the dress fan out dramatically.

"It's beautiful," I say.

"There's one more thing," he says. He fastens a necklace around my neck. I lift it up and examine the one small pearl on it. I'm immediately reminded of Orion and how his token was the pearl dad gave mom in the arena. I blink back the tears in my eyes, knowing the will ruin my makeup.

"Oh Cinna..." I say. "It's perfect."

"It's the pearl Orion had," Cinna says. "Your parents wanted me to give it to you before the Capitol part of the tour." He pins my mockingjay pin onto my dress and we walk back into the dining room. Having the small piece of my brother with me boosts my confidence. For the first time, I really know in my heart why I'm here. I'm here for my brother. To make sure everyone remembers him. At my interview tonight, I will make sure to fulfill that duty.

When I walk into the dining room, only Chandler is in there. He's in a tuxedo with an orange tie that matches my dress. I can't help but smile.

"You look beautiful," he says.

"Thank you. You look handsome yourself," I say. He looks at my necklace.

"Is that Orion's?" he asks.

"Yes," I answer. Tears return to my eyes, but I force myself to blink them away. Mom and dad walk into the room, followed by Anita. Anita looks a lot cheerier since she was allowed a few extra hours of sleep.

"Are you ready for your interview?" Dad asks.

"Yep," I say.

"You do know they will probably ask you to sing, right?" Mom asks.

"I figured," I say.

"Do you know what you're going to sing?" Anita asks excitedly.

"Oh, yes. You can bet it will be a song they won't soon forget."

"Give it up for Lily Mellark!" Caesar shouts. I walk onto the stage and I'm take aback. Twenty-three families stand on platforms right in front of the stage. Each platform is marked with the name of the child they lost in the games. Octavia stands on a platform with two names on it, Jenny Winslow and Jamie Winslow, along with an older man and a younger man. Their faces are fresh with sorrow. They clap, but there is no excitement behind it. I'm reminded of the two little red-haired girls. Both gone forever. I try to smile, but it's hard with the constant reminder of the children who died. One of Octavia's granddaughters might have made it home if the mutts would've gotten to me just a few seconds faster.

Caesar puts his hand on my shoulder, reminding me that I'm on stage. I sit down in the white chair, and the interview begins. We talk for a while about how my life has changed since the games, how school is going, if I have any plans for the future, which I have to lie about because I can't exactly say "My plans are to go back into the arena and try to die in the easiest way possible.", how my family has handled the loss of Orion. Finally, he gets to what I've been waiting for.

"We all know that your talent is singing. How would you like to sing something for us right now?" The audience applauds in agreement.

"I thought you'd never ask." I stand up. "This is a song my mom taught me. It's called the Valley Song. I want to dedicate this to my brother." I take a deep breath.

"Down in the valley, the valley so low

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow

Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow

Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,

Angels in heaven know I love you,

Know I love you dear know I love you,

Angels in heaven know I love you

Build me a castle, forty feet high

So I can see her as she rides by

As she rides by, dear, as she rides by

So I can see her as she rides by.

Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,

Angels in Heaven know I love you

Know I love you, dear, know I love you

Angels in Heaven know I love you."

I look out at the audience. Nearly all of them have tears in their eyes, and most of the people on the platforms sob uncontrollably. All at once, they break out in thunderous applause. One by one, they stand up until everyone is on their feet. Tears blur my vision as I think about Orion and all of the other dead tributes. I sit back down and see that even Caesar is dabbing tears from his eyes.

"That was beautiful, Lily."

"Thank you."

"Unfortunately, our time is up for tonight. Let's have one more round of applause for Lily Mellark, victor of the seventy-sixth Hunger Games!" I walk off the stage and I'm met by a flood of compliments.

"That was beautiful," Anita says.

"I had no idea you could sing like that," mom says.

"Just like your mother," dad says. Cinna eventually reminds everyone that we have to be at the banquet in a half an hour.

"Where is the banquet being held?" I ask.

"It's at..." mom starts. She hesitates for a moment before finishing. "Kingsman's house."

"Will he be there?" I ask.

No one says anything for a moment. Cinna finally speaks in a grim tone. "More than likely, yes." All of the color drains from my face and I feel like I might pass out. I know Kingsman will be mad at me for not giving his speech. Now I have to eat at his house, with him there. This is not going to be good, I can already tell.

I have to say, Kingsman's house is very nice. Three stories tall, gorgeous view, more muted color pallet than the rest of the Capitol. The room we are in is called the ballroom. It has wooden floors for dancing, crystal chandeliers, cream white walls decorated with paintings of the Capitol. Even though the room is huge, it feels small with the amount of people crammed into it. I shake hands with every one of them. It gets boring after a while. Chandler never leaves my side, knowing that Kingsman is here somewhere. We finally get a break from shaking hands long enough to eat. The food choices are overwhelming. Tables surround the room, each one packed with different dishes. By the time my plate is full, we've only been to about a quarter of the tables.

Once we finish, we walk over to where people are dancing. I've never danced before, so someone from the Capitol teaches me. Just like shaking hands, I end up dancing with everyone, too. It's torture, having to dance with all of these people. I'm dancing with a man who introduced himself as the head gamemaker when someone taps my shoulder. I turn around and see Kingsman standing behind me.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but do you think I could steal Miss Lily for a dance?" he says with a smile that is too kind to be real.

"What makes you think I'd dance with you?" I say through clenched teeth.

"Very well then," he says. He turns and walks away. I get the feeling that I haven't seen the last of him tonight.

Chandler finds me before I find him. "What did he want?" he asks.

"He wanted to dance," I say. The words feel like poison coming out of my mouth.

"Are you kidding me?" he says. "He needs to go to a mental institute if he actually thinks you'd dance with him."

"Doesn't he need to go to one anyway?" Someone taps my shoulder. I cringe, thinking it's Kingsman again, but it's just a server. He hands Chandler and I a glass of a pink liquid. We continue to talk, not taking a sip from the drinks. Chandler is in the middle of a sentence when he stops and looks past me.

"He's back," he says. I turn around and, sure enough, Kingsman in approaching us.

"What do you want?" I ask harshly.

"My, my, Miss Lily, do you think that every time you seeme I'm bringing bad news?" he says lightly. I narrow my eyes at him. He takes a sip from his glass that holds the same pinkish liquid as ours does. "Have you tried the drinks yet? They're delicious," he says. Just to humor him, I take a sip of the drink. It tastes of strawberries, but there's something sweet... Something familiar. I take a few more sips to try to identify the almost sickening sweetness. My eyelids start to droop. I gasp realizing what it is. Sleep syrup. Chandler's eyes widen too. I try to throw it back up, but it's too late.

The last thing I hear is Kingman's maniacal laughter.


	30. Not Your Puppet

I open my eyes. Something is wrong with my vision. Everything is white. Am I dead? Is this what death is like? Never ending whiteness? Someone walks toward me through the white. He looks vaguely familiar. As he comes closer, I realize it's Kingsman. I try to run away from him, but something holds me down. This must be another nightmare. So far, it's shaping up to be a terrifying one.

Kingsman sits down in a white chair beside whatever is holding me down. An evil smile spreads across his lips. "Finally come around, Miss Lily?" he says. It all comes back to me. The banquet, the sweet taste in the drink. He must have drugged me. I'm not sleeping, I'm not going to wake up. This isn't the kind of nightmare I'm used to. Kingsman stands up and paces around me. "I know you read my letter. I know you knew there would be consequences for not complying. So here's the question: Why didn't you give that speech?" he says.

"Did you honestly think I would give that speech?" I say, try not to sound terrified. I failed.

"I thought you would, being that you must be smart enough to realize that consequences would follow. Now, Miss Lily, your little act in eleven caused some discontent in that district. And that sweet little lullaby you sang had some of my own people calling for an end to the games, many people even wanted me to step down. Me, step down! Ha! Miss Lily, I, quite frankly, am sick of this. Here's the deal: You can either comply with whatever I tell you to do and help me restore Panem to what it used to be, and you will not be punished. If you do not accept," He smiles. "I will let you decide if you want to find out. Think about it, Miss Lily." What can I do? I know that the punishment awaiting me will be terrible, but what can he do? Kill me? Throw me in the Games again? Either path I take means death, but if I agree to help him, it would mean death for many, many, people. No, I will not help him. I take a deep breath, knowing I am probably about to seal the deal on my death.

"I'm not your puppet, Kingsman. There's nothing you could do that would make me help you. "

"Are you sure, Miss Lily? You can't change your decision," he says. His black eyes are alight with anticipation.

"I'm sure."

"Alright, just know that whatever happens to you or anyone else is completely your fault." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a walkie-talkie. "Take them out," he says. Four hard-faced men dressed in white come in and roll me through a white hallway. I hear something rolling behind us, but I can't turn my head to see who it is. We go down the hall for what seems like forever. Finally, we turn into a room. It's all white, except for a wall of metal bars separating us from another room. I can just barely see the other bed being rolled into that room, and Chandler on that bed. Oh no... I was only supposed to hurt myself by choosing not to help Kingsman. I hope Chandler was offered the same choice I was and it's not my fault. Kingsman's words echo in my head. Whatever happens to you or anyone else is completely your fault. This is all my fault.

"Hook 'em up," one of the men yells. The four men in my room... or cell, really, unhook my arms, wrists, ankles, legs, torso, and head. As soon as they do, I make a mad dash for the door. I'm caught quickly by one of the men.

"Add another one," he says. Another one? Another one what? They force me into a metal chair and strap me in. They place wires at various places on my body.

"How many?" a man from Chandler's cell asks.

"Six. You want to alternate or something?" a man from my cell says.

"Yeah, that'll work. Who goes first?" a man says.

"The boy. Give the girl something to look forward to." Oh no... The pieces are coming together in my head... On the rare occasion that dad would talk about being tortured by the Capitol, he said they used electric shocks as one form of torture, and they made him listen to the screams of other people. Oh no...

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

Chandler's scream fills the air.

Tears come to my eyes, as I know what's coming next.

"Three." Brace yourself.

"Two." You know what's coming.

"One." Keep it together.

A pain worse than anything I've ever felt travels through my body. I can't keep the scream inside. Tears spring from my eyes as the electricity courses through my veins. The countdown starts again. I close my eyes and prepare myself for the horrible noise that is about to come. Chandler screams again. Without a pause, the countdown starts from my cell. Again, I scream. I start to sob as the third round of shocks begin.

"I'm sorry Chandler!" I shout. "I'm sorry!" His scream fills the air. The countdown begins. Is it just me, or are the shocks getting worse every time? By the last round, I'm hoping that they just kill us both now. I can't do this every day. I can't. I can't. I barely hear the countdown through my sobbing. My throat is raw from screaming. The final shock hurts worse than all of the other shocks. The scream hurts, but I barely feel it over the electricity.

"That's all for today." I hear. The wires are ripped from my skin, the restraints are taken off. The men throw my limp body from the chair.

"We'll be back tomorrow," a man says. They walk out of the room, locking multiple locks behind them. I want to drag myself to the bars and apologize, but I can't pick myself up.

"Chandler," I yell. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"What happened?" I hear him yell. His voice shakes.

"He wanted to use me to make Panem what it used to be. I refused," I yell.

"You did the right thing," he yells.

"How can you say that? We're going to have to do this every day for who knows how long." He doesn't say anything. A few minutes of silence pass, then I hear a quiet murmur from Chandler's cell. It takes me a minute to realize what he's saying. No, not saying. Singing.

"Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,

Angels in heaven know I love you." I join him when he sings:

"Know I love you, dear, know I love you,

Angels in heaven know I love you." Tears fill my eyes. I vaguely remember falling asleep. Everything in my dreams screams. Me, Chandler, Mom, Dad, Orion. I wake up to Chandler telling me it's okay.

No, Chandler, it's not okay.


	31. Kingsman, Idiots, and Brain Damage

We've been trapped in these cells for exactly one week now. After the first day, they shaved our heads, and made us put on a thin white shirt and pants. They've only given us food and water twice. My throat burns, and there's a hollow feeling in my stomach. I long for the rich array of dishes from the banquet. The banquet. It feels like it was a lifetime ago.

Every day is virtually the same. We get five shocks a day. I'm not sure which is worse. The shocks, or having to hear Chandler's pained screams. Sometimes, I consider asking them to crank up the voltage and kill me. I never do though, for fear that they'll add another shock.

Today has been different. In a good way, I think. We haven't gotten our shocks. Not yet anyway. Plus, we got a slightly larger slice of bread than usual, and a full glass of water. I take this as a good thing. That maybe, just maybe Kingsman has decided to lighten up on us just a little.

The door flings open and the men burst into my room. I should've known a day without shocks was too good to be true. But they don't have the metal chair, just clubs and strange gloves with metal spikes...

I pull myself into a ball, trying to protect myself from what I know is coming next. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. It stops abruptly, and for a brief moment, the sound of something traveling through the air fills the room. Then, I feel it. The hard, wooden club against my leg. Tears spring to my eyes. I'm not going to scream, I'm not going to scream.

Another club hits me. This time, in my side. I'm able to stifle a cry, until the metal gloves come down on me. Every time a hand comes down on me, I let out a sharp cry. I open my eyes enough to see the white tile stained with red... My blood. I quickly squeeze them shut again.

Metal spikes come down my head. My hands instinctively fly up to access the wounds. An action I will forever regret. The men take the opportunity to get their gloves on my face. I feel a spike bury itself in my eye. The pain is blinding (no pun intended). I rush to cover my face with my hands again.

Suddenly, everything goes black.

"Lily?" I hear a faint, familiar voice say. I open my eyes and lift my head to se who it is, but I'm met by searing pain. I groan loudly. "Lily," the voice says again. There's a tone of relief to it this time. I open my eyes, scared to sit up again. My eye right eye throbs, like it's been stabbed with a hot poker, but I force it to stay open. Something's wrong with my vision. Everything seems shifted to the left. I look to my right, but I see nothing.

It all comes back to me. The clubs, the metal gloves, the spike entering my eye. I must have blacked out. Carefully, I roll over onto my back, sending sharp burst of pain throughout my body.

"How do you feel?" Chandler asks.

"Really... Really... Bad..." I grunt. It takes enormous effort to get each word out.

"I'm so sorry, Lily. They made me watch... with tape over my mouth. When you stopped screaming, I was sure you were dead."

Suddenly, my mind goes blank, memories blend together, or disappear altogether. Where am I? Why am I sore? Why can't I see right? Is that blood on the floor? Who's is it? I look across the room that I'm in. Chandler is in another room, but there are bars between us.

"When did you get here?" I ask vaguely.

"What do you mean? I've been here the whole time," Chandler says.

"Why is my vision blurry?" I ask.

"Don't you remember? They stabbed you in the eye."

"I got stabbed in the eye?"

"Yes... Lily, are you okay?"

"I think so. I'm really sore though, and my head hurts really bad."

"Oh, great..." Chandler starts mumbling to himself. I only catch a few words like 'Kingsman,' 'Idiots,' and 'Brain Damage.'

"What about brain damage?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath. "Lily, do you know where we are and why we're here?"

"No... Why?"

"We are being tortured by President Kingsman. You just got beaten up really badly, and I think you might have some sort of brain damage."

Scenes flash before my eyes. My name being called at the reaping, the bloodbath, the little red haired girl dropping to her knees with my arrow in her stomach, an axe hitting Carmen's back, me singing to Orion as he died, Bronwyn forcing me to murder a Capitol boy, Kingsman's black eyes staring at me, Chandler and I in the meadow, the pink drink at the banquet, Chandler screaming as he was electrocuted, the metal spikes hitting my head... I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my ears to block out the awful images and sounds, but I can't. It's all in my head.

"Lily?" I hear Chandler whisper. "What's wrong?"

"I remember," I say. "I wish I had forgotten." I slowly uncover my ears and open my eyes. I'm still in the same, white cell that I've been in for a week. Will we ever get out of this place? Or will these white walls be our grave. I guess only time will tell.


	32. Love, Lily

I feel like I've been hit by a train. There is not one place on my body that isn't cut or bruised. To try to pass the time, I'm writing letters in my head to people I know, and in many cases, will probably never see again.

_Mom and Dad,_

_The past year has been very hard, but we've dealt with it together. The only reason I was able to stay at least somewhat sane was because I knew you two were there for me. I never expected that I would be hated by Kingsman to the point that he was going to put me back in the games. None of us did. What I didn't tell you was that he was going to put Chandler and Gina in the games, too. I didn't want to give you more to worry about. I'm sorry. Right now, Chandler and I are being tortured by Kingsman because I refused to help him "restore Panem to its former glory." Dad, I don't know how you made it through months of this. I've only been here for a week and I'm already wishing I was dead. I will probably never make it out of this cell, so I want you both to know how much I love you and how much I miss you. I have on favor to ask you. Please destroy Kingsman. If it's the last thing you ever do._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Orion,_

_I think about you every day. I think about the days we spent running through the meadow, splashing in the lake, annoying each other to the point of fighting. You visit me in my dream, too. Except we're in the arena. Do you think about me wherever you are? For the first time, I have to say I'm glad you died in the arena. If you hadn't, you would be where I am now, being tortured by the Capitol. I don't know if there's a life after death, but if there is, I'll see you there soon. Until I'm there, remember the happy times, before the game. I love you, little bro._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Chandler,_

_I'm so sorry that I dragged you into all of this. You can say it's not my fault all you want, but don't lie to yourself. This is my fault. If you had never known me, you'd be at home, living a happy life, not getting electrocuted every day. Before I die, which hopefully will be sooner than later, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. You stayed with me, even though you knew it meant going into the arena, you were always there to comfort me, and above all, you didn't care that I was a victor, that I was quiet, that I had flashbacks and nightmares. Thank you so much for everything you've done. I wish that I could've been more like you._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Gina,_

_We've been best friends since the first day of kindergarten. We've laughed together, we've cried together, but now, we've been separated. I'm so, so glad that you are not here being tortured with Chandler and I. We probably will not ever come out of these cells, so if Kingsman puts you in the games anyway, win them at all costs. It will be hard, but I know you can. You have to win, Gina. Thank you for being my best friend._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Haymitch,_

_I'm sorry that you died because of me. I hope that your death was quick and painless, but I have a feeling it wasn't. I thought of you as a grandfather, and I often forgot that we weren't related. Thank you for always being there for me when I needed someone other than a parent to talk to. Again, I'm sorry that you died because of me._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Carmen,_

_Even though I only knew you for a few days, I thought of you as a friend. I learned really quickly that finding a friend in the games is a dangerous thing, but I'm still glad I did. Believe it or not, one of my best friends in Twelve was one of your best friends, Chandler Newcome. We only talked about you once, but I can tell that you two were close. I'm sorry that you had to die. I'm sorry I wasn't watching your back like I should've been. If you had won the games, I doubt that you would be in the same position I'm in now._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_Kingsman,_

As much as you hate me, I hate you twice as much. You have not just ruined the lives of me and everyone I love, but of everyone who lives in Panem. Why can't you see that people are not happy with the way you run things? How can you just sit by and watch people starve to death? If you don't know, I can tell you. You are a sick, psychopathic mutt. That's right, I called you a mutt. You think making people's lives miserable is funny? I promise you, if I ever make it out of this cell, you'll see just how funny it is.

I hope you die a slow and painful death,

Lily

It feels good to write a letter to Kingsman. If I ever get the chance, I'll give it to him.

I eventually drift off. Tonight, I dream that I'm trapped in a room with a glass wall, watching my family and friend beaten within an inch of their lives. I wake up to the sound of my own screams, followed by intense pain. The bruises have gotten worse, and the cuts have scabbed over, making them itch intensely. I can't scratch them, though. It hurts to touch the bruises. I start to cry. I can't tell if it's the pain, the nightmare, or the anxiety of not knowing what kind of torture is coming today, or all of it. My cries quickly turn into sobs. I want to go home. I want to see my family. I want to see the sunset again. I just want to get out of this place.

The men burst through the door, and I scream, seeing that they're armed with not just clubs and metal-spiked gloves, but whip, too. The whip comes down across my bruised back. I don't even try to hold back tears this time. The pain makes me dizzy. Chandler's cries echo across the room. Are they beating him, too? A club comes down on my head and I blank out again. Where am I? Why are people hitting me with clubs and whips?

It all comes back to me. The games, the victory tour the torture. I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my ears to block out the sound of Chandler screaming, but it doesn't work. It's all in my head. Is this how I will live the rest of my short life? Forgetting, remembering, being tortured?

The whip hits my chest. I open my eyes to see my dirty white shirt with a fresh streak of blood crossing it. Will this be how I die? Blood loss? Before I can wonder any more, I hear the door fly open.

"Stop!" I hear a familiar voice shout. The men stop hitting me and stand, blocking my view. My entire body shakes. Through my teary eyes, I make out a pair of black shoes coming across the blood stained floor. Two of the men move out of the way. I look up to see Kingsman's black eyes staring down on me. "Get up," he says. "You're going home."


	33. Home

Who is this man, and what has he done with Kingsman? I don't care. He's sending us home! But why? I don't care. I attempt to stand, but I fall and hit my head on the floor.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a white room. He lied to us. He didn't send us home. But wait... I'm in a bed. There are needles poking into my arms. This looks familiar... I remember a similar thing, after the games. They did something to get rid of all my injuries. Excited, I lift up my arm. The bruises are fading, and there are only faint scabs where the spikes and whip hit me. I run my hand across my head and discover that my hair has grown back out to its full length. Why are they doing this, though? Something is going on. Before I can think about it more, a cold liquid seeps into my arm and I fall back into a deep sleep.

Where am I? Why am I in a white room? Why are there needles in my arm? What's going on? A door opens and someone walks in. He looks familiar for some strange reason, but I can't put my finger on why. His eyes are like never ending black holes.

"Well, Miss Lily they've fixed you up quite well," the man says.

"Who are you?" I ask. My voice sounds harsh and mean for some reason.

"Who am I? How could you for... Oh... I guess they can't fix everything."

"What can't they fix?"

"Brain damage." It all comes back to me. This is President Kingsman. He's the one that tortures me. I jump from my bed and launch myself at him. My hands lock around his throat. Two people come in and pin me onto the bed. They jab a needle into me. Just before I fall asleep, I see Kingsman's frightened eyes staring at me.

When I wake up again, there are restraints across my arms, legs, and waist. Kingsman sits in a chair across from my bed.

"What do you want?" I ask. I'd give anything to get my hands on his throat now.

"Can we have a more civilized conversation this time, please?" he asks.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, not really. You're probably wondering why I'm letting you go home." I nod. "Somehow, it was revealed that I was torturing you and your little boyfriend, and to say that all hell broke loose would be am understatement. I am letting you go because I want to show the districts that you were just helping me with a few problems, and I had planned to send you home, right?" I give him a confused look. "Right?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"No, everyone will know what you've done"

"Very well. Guards!" Two men come in with whips. I scream.

"Anyway... We weren't able to fix the brain damage, or restore vision in your right eye. If I were you, I wouldn't tell anyone about either. Now, we're about to get to district twelve. Tomorrow, I require that you give a speech convincing the districts that you were only helping me sort out a few problems. Someone will bring you food and clothing momentarily." he walks out of the room. How am I going to convince the districts that I was helping Kingsman? I don't know if I will be able to.

An avox walks in with a bowl of broth, some bread, a glass of water, and some clothes. Before she walks out, she removes my restraints. I scarf down the food graciously. Even though it's only a small amount, it fills me up. Then, I put on the clothes, jeans, a long sleeved green shirt, and black boots. It feels so good to be back in something normal and warm instead of those wretched white things. I can't believe we were only there for a week and a day. It felt like a lifetime.

The avox returns and walks me down a long hallway. My legs are able to support my weight again. Walking on my own feels so good, I almost break into a run.

We reach the end of the hall. There is a door in front of us. The avox silently leaves just before the train comes to a halt. The doors slide open. Nobody waits for me. I guess nobody knows I've been released. Someone comes up behind me and takes my hand, making me jump. It's just Chandler.

"Ready?" he says. I look at him and nod. I want to run home and be in my parent's arms again. Chandler must know this. "Run," he says. Without thinking twice, I take off for my home. Running has never felt so good in my life. I can see it, my home. I'll be there in just a minute. It feels like years since I've been here. It gets closer and closer, but never close enough. Finally, I feel the smooth door knob under my hand. I don't bother to knock, I just burst through the door.

"Mom! Dad!" I shout, breathless from the run. I hear talking from upstairs, then footsteps. They come closer and closer until I can at last see mom and dad at the top of the stairs. We stare at each other for a moment, as if wondering if this is real. Mom bursts into tears and comes running down the stairs. Dad follows her closely behind. Their arms wrap around me. Tears stream down my face.

"You're alive," mom sobs.

"We thought you were dead," dad whispers.

"I thought I would be," I manage to say. We hug each other for a long time, mom and I both crying our eyes out.

Once we pull away, I ask, "What happened after Kingsman poisoned us?"

"Everyone at the party went crazy. We didn't even know you two had passed out until we heard it from other people. Then, two Capitol medics took you two away," dad says. "I'm guessing those weren't medics though."

"What did he do to you?" mom asks.

"He wanted me to help him in his mission too make Panem what it used to be, and I refused. For the first six days, he-" I'm cut off when dad stands up.

"I'm sorry I just... I can't hear it," he says. He walks out of the room.

"He shocked us five times a day. I had to listen to his..." The sound of Chandler's screams fill my head. I cover my ears tightly. I feel a hand on my arm and hear someone talking to me, mom. The sound of screaming stops. I slowly remove my hands from my ears. I force myself to continue.

"Then on the seventh day, they made Chandler watch as they beat me with clubs and gloves with metal spikes. One of the spikes hit me in the eye and they weren't able to repair it."

"Wait, they repaired you?" mom asks.

"I'm getting to that. On the eighth day, they started beating me, with clubs, gloves, and whips this time. They beat Chandler, too. Then, Kingsman came in and told us we were going home. After that, I blacked out. I woke up, and they did that same thing they did after the games. Kingsman came in, and I blanked out. When I remembered again, I tried to kill him. After that, he told me that it had been leaked that he was torturing us, and the districts were mad. He released me so I could convince him that I was just helping him sort out a few problems."

"Why did you blank out?" mom asks.

"Apparently, I've got brain damage and now I just randomly blank out. They couldn't fix that, or my eye, so I'm blind in my right eye," I say. Mom starts to cry again. She pulls me into her arms.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so sorry," she says.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," I say. I start to sob, too.

"Neither did I." She holds me so tightly that I can hardly breathe, but I barely notice. All I know is that I'm back in my mom's arms, and for now, I feel safe.

After a few minutes there's a knock on the door. Mom and I both jump up to answer it. Mom gets there first. She opens the door and Chandler stands in front of us. I know immediately that something is wrong. His eyes are red from tears, though they no longer fall, and he trembles with every breath.

"My parents..." he pauses and takes a deep breath, "left. I don't have anywhere to go."

Without a moments hesitation, mom says, "Yes, you do."


	34. Love, Orion

Tears start to flow down Chandler's face. "Thank you," he says. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Everdeen."

"Do you have any thing to bring with you?" mom asks.

"No. My parents took everything," he says.

"We'll make sure you have everything you need," mom says. "You can stay in..." she looks down for a moment, "The empty bedroom. Lily, will you please show him where it is?" I take a deep breath. By 'the empty bedroom', she's referring to Orion's bedroom. We haven't opened it since he died. I'm not sure if I'm ready to yet. _It's just a bedroom_, I remind myself. But it's more than a bedroom. It's Orion's. I can't do it. It must be written on my face because mom pulls me close to her side and whispers, "It's okay of you don't want to go in." A part of me is telling me to stay as far away from the bedroom as I can, but another part of me wants to see it again, before someone else lives in it. I take a deep breath.

"It's fine," I say.

Chandler and I walk up the stairs. Orion's bedroom was right across the hall from mine. We reach the entrance of it and stop. I look at the floor, because I can't look at the door.

"This is Orion's room, isn't it?" Chandler says. I nod. "You don't have to go in." I shake my head.

"No, I want to see it, one more time," I say. My voice quivers slightly. He takes my hand before turning the handle.

The room is lit by the sunlight coming through a large window so we don't really need to turn the lights on. I force myself to look up. The bed is still unmade and his pajamas are carelessly thrown on the ground. Slowly, I walk further into the room. My hand runs across his wooden dresser, his clothes still stuffed inside. I stop when I see a piece of paper crumpled on top of the dresser. Curious, I flatten it out. When I realize what it is, I gasp. It's a note to me, from the day of the reaping. I sit down on the edge of the bed and read it.

_Sis,_

_You have always been my role model. I try every day to be just like you. You're the nicest, bravest, smartest, funniest person I know. I hope you know how much you mean to me. If one of us is picked today, whether it's you or me, be the strong sister I know, and fight through it. No matter what happens._

_Love,_

_Orion_

A tear falls onto the paper. Chandler sits next to me. "What's that?" he asks.

"It's a note from Orion," I say. I close my eyes and I can see Orion's smiling face, now gone forever. At least I have a little piece of him forever now. They took away my pearl in the Capitol.

"Oh," Chandler says. I lay the note delicately beside me and lean my head on Chandler's shoulder. He wraps an arm around me.

"I'm so sorry about your parents," I say.

"I'm really going to miss them," he says.

"Why would they leave?"

"They left a note. They didn't think I'd be coming home, so they ran to try to stay safe from Kingsman."

"I hope they make it, wherever they go."

"Me too."

A few minutes later, mom knocks on the door. When she comes in, she hands me a message. Unsurprisingly, it's from Kingsman.

_Miss Lily,_

_It will not be necessary for you to give a speech tomorrow. I will address everything in mandatory programming tonight._

_-K_

For the second time in my life, Kingsman has brought some relief. I am in no mood to give a speech.

"Oh, and one more thing," mom says. She walks downstairs for a moment. When she opens the door again, she has Gina with her. Gina bursts into tears. I jump up and hug her.

"I thought you were dead!" she sobs.

"I've been getting that a lot," I say.

"Your mom came and told me to come to your house," she says, "I thought it was to tell me you died." We all go downstairs, where mom has dinner waiting for all of us. The fresh chicken is so delicious compared to the stale bread I've eaten over the past week. I eat as much as I can keep down, which isn't that much. Mom tells Gina that she better go home since there's mandatory viewing in ten minutes. After we quickly clean the dishes, we position ourselves around the television. Kingsman's face appears on the screen. He addresses all concern over Chandler and I and assures everyone that they have done nothing to hurt us.

"Liar," mom snarls at the television.

"We also have some news concerning the Hinger Games," Kingsman says. Oh no, are they announcing the news about the doubled tributes and the victor's name being reentered?

"Mom, dad, before he says this, I'm sorry," I say. They look at me quizzically. I should've warned them.

"From now on, there will be four tributes per district, two male and two female. District thirteen will also be participating in the games," Kingsman says.

"No," mom says.

"That's ridiculous!" dad shouts.

"The victor's name will not be removed from the reaping." The reaction to this isn't nearly as strong. "And finally, our biggest change, we are going to start having two games a year, a winter, and a summer. The reaping for the winter games will be tomorrow."


	35. Singing to Mockingjays

I can't stifle a scream. The winter games begin tomorrow. Just when I get home, back to my family, back to at least somewhat-safety, I'm about to be whisked away. I start to sob. Chandler wraps his arms around me. He should be sobbing, too. He's going into the games tomorrow, too.

"It will be okay, you knew this was coming, it's just coming a lot sooner than expected. It will be okay," Chandler whispers.

"How can you say that when you're going into the games, too?" I shout. Oh, man...

"What?" dad asks. I have no choice but to spill out everything about Kingsman telling all three of us we'd be going into the games and our plan to run away. I'm not sure if they can even tell what I'm saying through my sobs.

"Why didn't you tell us?" mom asks, her face wet with tears.

"I didn't want to give you something else to stress over," I say.

"You should've told us. We could've helped," mom says.

"No, nothing could help. We're all going to be dead in a few weeks!" I exclaim. "I can't go back into the arena, I can't I can't..." I'm not sure how I handled the news of going back in so well when Kingsman told me. I guess it wasn't real then. Now that it's only one day away, it's become real. I'm going to die, and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Just go to bed, you two," dad says. By the look in his eyes, I can tell he's about to loose it. I walk up the stairs, leaning on Chandler. My legs feel like they would crumble if I tried to walk on my own. When we get to our doors, I fling arms around Chandler and start to sob again.

"It's going to be okay," he whispers. I'm sobbing too hard to speak. I vaguely remember him carrying me into my room and laying me on the bed. I fall asleep to the feeling of him gently stroking my hair.

_I'm in the middle of a barren desert. They all come for me, countless tributes, some I know, some I don't, lizard mutts, tracker jackers. I want to run, but I can't. They close in on me. Up close, i can see they all carry whips, clubs, and metal-spiked gloves. They laugh as they beat me to a pulp..._

I wake up screaming as usual. Something pins both of my arms down. I thrash to free myself of it.

"Lily, it was a dream, calm down," Chandler says. He's pinning my arms down. He slowly lets me go. I wonder why he was holding me down. "Are you okay?" he asks. I shake my head. I can still feel the whips coming down on me. My entire body shakes violently and I start to cry. He takes my hand and I grip it tightly.

"I'm... Sorry..." I manage to say.

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault," he says. We sit in silence for a while until I stop shaking.

"What if I have nightmares like that in the arena?" I ask.

"It won't matter," he says. I know what he means. We're all as good as dead anyway. Who cares if we inform the entire world of our location? "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There were a lot of tributes, lizard mutts, and tracker jackers coming at me with whips and clubs and metal gloves and they killed me," I say.

"They're gone now. Go back to sleep."

"No. I don't want to have anymore nightmares."

"I'll be here."

"You promise?"

"I promise." With that in mind, I drift off again.

_I'm trapped in a room that's all white. All white, as far you can see. I feel a whip hit me, but I see no whip. Blood runs onto the perfect white floor. More and more invisible whips and clubs and metal gloves hit me. I make a weak attempt to escape. When I do, screams fill the room. My mom's, my dad's, Orion's, Chandler's, Gina's. I cover my ears to block the noise, but it only gets louder and louder until I almost go deaf._

"Lily, breathe. It's okay," a voice says. A hand touches my arm and I jump away and shriek, thinking it's a whip or something. "It's only me," the voice is Chandler's. My mind relaxes, but my body does not.

"I hate this," I groan.

"I know," Chandler says. "Just remember, it's not real, it's just a nightmare."

"I know, but they feel so real. I can still feel whips and clubs hitting me even after I wake up."

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm not going back to sleep."

"That's okay. I won't either."

We lie awake for a long time, neither of us saying anything. I look over at the clock. Time is passing far to fast. Every second that passes brings us closer and closer to death.

At about six-thirty in the morning, I sit up. There's something I want to do. "Chandler," I whisper. "There's somewhere I want to go." He nods and hops out of the bed. We quietly walk down the stairs. I leave a note telling my parents we'll be back soon.

"Where are we going?" he asks after we get outside.

"Just follow me," I say. I barely remember the way to get where I'm going. I hope I'm right.

Eventually, we get to the place I'm looking for. The hole in the fence. I slip under the fence and Chandler follows soon behind.

"I had to come back here," I say. "One last time."

We walk through the meadow, taking time to look at every tree, every flower, every bird, since it's the last time we'll get to see these things. Eventually, we stop and sit down under a tree.

"My mom used to sing to the mockingjays," I say, remembering the beautiful sound of the mockingjays' voices when they would repeat the tune.

"Will you sing to them?" Chandler asks.

"Okay," I say. I start to sing.

_"Down in the valley, the valley so low_

_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow_

_Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;_

_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow_

_Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,_

_Angels in heaven know I love you,_

_Know I love you dear know I love you,_

_Angels in heaven know I love you"_

Many mockingjays have gathered on the branches of the trees in front of me. They turn their heads curiously, trying to pick up the tune. Every bird in the meadow has stopped singing.

_"Build me a castle, forty feet high_

_So I can see her as she rides by_

_As she rides by, dear, as she rides by_

_So I can see her as she rides by._

_Roses love sunshine and violets love dew,_

_Angels in Heaven know I love you_

_Know I love you, dear, know I love you_

_Angels in Heaven know I love you."_

For a moment, there's total silence. Then, one mockingjay starts to sing. Soon, all the mockingjays are singing the tune. The sound is beautiful. I remember dad telling me that all the birds stop singing when Mom sings. They did that for me, too.


	36. Uproar

**Thank you to all of thepeople who have added this story to their favorites or story alerts and to everyone who has left a review! Also, I put the wrong last name for Gina, so that's been fixed.**

"Welcome, District Twelve!" Anita exclaims. Her hair is dyed bright purple and she wears a heavy fur coat. "As you all know, we will be having four tributes instead of two! Isn't that exciting?" She only gets blank states in response. "Ladies first!" She plucks a piece of paper from the bowl. Will it have my name or Gina's name? "Gina Mayer!" Gina squeezes my hand before walking on to the stage. "Now for a boy." Will it be Chandler or someone else? Gina was scared that it would be her little brother... "Bryce Mayer!" Gina's eyes widen as her twelve year old brother walks onto the stage. I should've known it would be him. "And for our second lady." I take a deep breath, knowing what's coming. Anita's excited expression is replaced by one of shock and sadness. "Lily Mellark." A murmur arises from the crowd as I make my way onto the stage. I try to look brave, but I feel myself shaking like a leaf. Anita gives me an apologetic look as she walks over to the boy's bowl. "Our final tribute is..." she plucks the name card that I know will have Chandler's name on it. "Chandler Newcome." The unhappy murmurs in the crowd grow louder as Chandler comes onto the stage. Pretty much everyone knows that Chandler is my boyfriend after the victory tour. "Let's have a round of applause for our new tributes, Gina Myers, Bryce Myers, Lily Mellark, and Chandler Newcome." No one claps though. The faces of the every adult and child is etched with anger. "Okay, now all of you shake hands." I shake the hands of Gina, Bryce, and Chandler. I hope we can get away from here soon. I'm not sure if I can hold it together much longer. Thankfully, Anita whisks us into the car to go to the Justice Building.

Anita walks us to the rooms where we will say goodbye. I doubt I'll have any visitors, since my friends and family will not be able to visit.

Surprisingly, Cora, Tara, and Jessi come in the door. Tara flings her tiny arms around me, while Cora sits down with little Jessi in her lap.

"Lily, why are you going away?" Tara asks.

"Because I have to," I say. Tara gives me a concerned and confused look hearing my sad, almost angry voice that's so different from the happy, cheery one I usually have around her.

"Tara, please come sit," Cora says. Tara slowly backs away and sits in Cora's lap. "I wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for us. We would all have died if it weren't for you," Cora says.

"I'm not coming back, Cora," I say. I keep my eyes on the floor, not wanting Tara or Jessi to see how dangerously close to tears I am.

"Tara, Jessi, will you please wait outside?" Cora says. They walk over to the door and try to push it open. Eventually, a peacekeeper opens it for them. Once the heavy door shuts, I burst into tears. "I'm so sorry, Lily," she says.

"I don't want to die," I say. A man opens the door.

"Time to go," he says. I remember how harsh they were last year when they told us it was time to go. This year, the man is a lot nicer sounding and even gives me an apologetic look.

"Goodbye," Cora whispers. I can't bear to say anything in response. I faintly hear the door click shut. I won't have any more visitors. Anyone who would is either a mentor or a tribute or dead. I grab a pillow from one of the chairs and scream into it. It feels good to get that out. I scream into the pillow until my throat is raw. Anita opens the door to fetch me just in time to hear me let out one final scream. I reluctantly place the pillow, now wet with tears, back onto the chair it came from. We go around to the other rooms and gather the rest of the children. Gina and Bryce are still wiping tears from their eyes. Chandler doesn't look like he's been crying though. I must look like a wreck to them. He take my hand and I squeeze it tight. Just before we exit the Justice Building, Anita turns to give us instructions.

"We're going to the train station now. There will be cameras, so look..." she stops and looks at us for a moment, all but one of us a wreck. "Forget it," she says, all of her usual verve replaced by sadness. She turns her back to us and walks out the door.

As she said, there are a lot of cameras there. However, they all stand in silence as we walk by, only moving to adjust their cameras. I keep my focus straight ahead to try to look like I'm not at all bothered this situation. It's no use though, trying to look brave. I'm going to be a target no matter what.

The train doors close, leaving us safely inside. Anita shows us around quickly and tells us to do whatever we want until dinner. As she walks away, I see a glint of tears in her eyes. It didn't even occur to me that this would be as hard on her as it is on the rest of us.

I go into my room, the same one I stayed in last time, and take a long, hot shower. Then, I put on a long sleeved purple shirt and black pants and lay down on my bed. My throat is throbbing, so I order a cup of hot tea. The effect is immediate, soothing not just my throat but my mind, too. For a moment, I close my eyes, and let my mind drift away from the games and to my happy place. A place without Kingsman, the games, electric fences, or torture.

Anita calls us for dinner. I reluctantly bring myself back to the terrible reality of the games. Chandler, Gina, Bryce, and I all walk into the dining room together. The first thing I notice when we get there are the faint streaks of mascara on Anita's cheeks. I hate that she's so upset over this.

Dinner is silent except for the occasional comment on the food. I force a few bites of food down my throat. It tastes good, but I don't really care. All I want to do is get this over with. After desert is removed, Anita quietly announces that it is time to watch the recap of the reapings. I wonder if things will be different this year. If training will have started back up in the districts my parents call career districts. One, two, and four I think. Or will it just be a mix like last year.

"Do you think anything will happen because of that uproar?" Dad asks.

"Maybe," mom says

"What uproar?" I ask.

"I'll explain later," dad says.

The reapings start, and like last year, only a few stick. A girl from one who volunteers, a girl from two who smiles and shows a set of sharpened teeth with gold tips, a strikingly beautiful girl from four who appears to be no older than thirteen, a brother and sister from seven that both break down in tears on stage, a fierce looking boy from nine, and a girl from thirteen who appears to be about my age. The tributes from one, two, and four look stronger and a lot less afraid than most of the others. I'm guessing that they really did restart the training centers.

"Are there any standouts this year, Callysta?" an man that is definitely not Caesar asks an unfamiliar woman.

"Boy, are there a lot," Callysta says. "This must be the year of the victors grandchildren, Riley." A picture of the girl from two with the sharpened teeth flashes onto the screen. "We have Anya Phillips from two, granddaughter of Enobaria Phillips, sporting sharpened teeth just like her grandmother." A picture of the girl from four pops up. "We have Annabelle Odair from four, granddaughter of victors Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta." A picture of the siblings from seven comes up. "And we have Ash and Aspen Mason from seven, grandchildren of victor Johanna Mason."

"Seems like they'd be a bit braver if they're a victor's grandchild," I say.

"Don't believe that act," dad says.

"Another clear standout is Lily Mellark, daughter of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, and victor of the seventy-sixth Hunger Games. She will be one to look out for. She knows how these games work and she knows how to kill. Also, don't overlook Jayda Sepprina from one. A volunteer is always a strong contender. Vasi Paran from nine also will be one to watch. And of course, we can't forget district thirteen. They have never competed in the games before, so it should be interesting to see how they do."

"That's all for tonight, folks. See you tomorrow for our preliminary betting charts!" The screen fades to black.

"Something is not right," I say. "There is no way it was a coincidence that all of those victor's grandchildren got picked."

"That's because of the uproar," Dad says. "The only living victors, Enobaria, Annie, Johanna, Beetee, and us sort of... sparked a rebellion in our districts once it was revealed that Kingsman had you. It was sort of coordinated, I guess. I'm not sure who started it, but somehow the message was passed on to us and we decided to help. Then, the peacekeepers started shooting. It was awful. No one was allowed to speak of it. That's why we haven't said anything until now."

"So it's a punishment for them?" Gina asks.

"More than likely, yes," dad says.

"I also found out that training centers have started back up, so there will probably be some sort of career alliance," mom says, confirming my suspicions.

"Do you think that six months of training could make that big of a difference?" Chandler asks.

"Not as significant as the trainers would hope, but yes. They will probably know how to use some weapons," dad says.

"What did you mean about the Mason kids?" I ask.

"Johanna Mason won her games by pretending to be weak so she would be overlooked, but she actually was really tough competitor," dad says. "I would bet that those kids are going to try to pull the same thing."

"Oh, okay," I say.

"You guys need to get some sleep," Anita says. "We'll be arriving in the Capitol tomorrow." We walk towards our rooms. Gina and Bryce enter their rooms, leaving Chandler and I alone in the hallway. I'm reluctant to go in my room, where surely the nightmares will be terrible, but Chandler reminds me that he'll be right across the hall and he'll be there if I have nightmares. In some sort of twisted way, I'm glad that he's here, even though he will most likely end up dead like I will.

I order another cup of hot tea before I go to sleep. With the soreness in my throat temporarily relieved, I fall asleep.


	37. Diamonds

**Just so there is no confusion, I changed the name Sera to Anya. Thanks to everyone who has been reading this :)**

I wake up to a swift knock on the door and a quiet "Wake up," from Anita. Chandler's hand is still in mine. I vaguely remember him coming in last night after I had nightmares about the girl from two, Anya, ripping my throat out with her sharpened, gold-tipped teeth. Weird, but terrifying. Chander hoes back to his room to get ready, and I throw on a red plaid shirt and jeans, and quickly fix my hair into a braid. I walk down to the dining car, where mom and dad sit, picking at a plate of eggs, ham, and fruit, while Anita absentmindedly stirs a cup of coffee while staring into space. She snaps out of her trance momentarily, acknowledging my entrance, before going back to stirring her coffee. As soon as I sit, an Avox brings me a plate of eggs, ham, and fruit, a basket of bread, a cup of hot chocolate, and a cup of coffee. I've never tried coffee before, so I take a sip. It's bitter, but good. I like the hot chocolate better, though.

Bryce comes in still rubbing his eyes. Gina comes in after him and is quickly followed by Chandler. Bryce's blue eyes widen at the sight of the amount of food. He probably hasn't ever had a meal like this, even before Kingsman. All of them shovel food in their mouths like they'll never eat again. I eat a few bites of ham before the sick feeling that seems to accompany impending death returns.

"Lily, you've got to eat more than that," mom says.

"What's the point?" I sigh.

"The point is, this may be one of the few good meals you have left, so you might as well enjoy it," Anita says. Her eyes never leave the distant pint they seem to be focused on.

"Fine," I grumble. I force down some of the eggs and a few slices of fruit.

"We should be arriving in the Capitol in about thirty minutes," dad says. "When we get there, go to the windows and wave at the crowd, smile, try to look excited."

"What if I'm not excited?" Bryce asks stubbornly. I feel a pang in my chest as I remember how Orion didn't want to work the crowd last year.

"You're going to have to fake it, then," dad says.

"Why? Why does it matter how 'excited' we look?" Bryce says.

"There are potential sponsors in the crowd, and they tend to pick the tributes that work the crowd the best."

"Well, I'm not doing it."

They go back and forth like this for another minute or two. I don't know why dad hasn't given up yet. Maybe it's because Bryce is pretty much the only one of us, other than maybe Gina, that has a crack at winning. After a while, I can't stand their bickering anymore. I slam my fist on the table. "Do you want to live, or not?" I say.

"Yeah, of course," Bryce says.

"Then I suggest you listen to my dad, your _mentor._ The person that means the difference between life and death might be out there, and if all you do is scowl at them, they aren't going to like you." I surprise myself with the sternness of my voice. Bryce nods quietly and doesn't argue anymore.

"After we get there, you'll be turned over to your stylists. Do whatever they say, no matter what," mom says. I can't wait to see Cinna again.

The rest of the ride is slower than I remember it being. Finally, I get a glimpse of a pastel pink skyscraper rising over the trees.

"We're here," Anita says, perking up a bit at the sight of the Capitol. All four of us slowly make our way to the window just as the crowd of people begins to materialize. Chandler, Gina, and Bryce stare wide eyed at the buildings and people. I just put on a fake smile and wave. They soon follow. What's the point of this? I wonder. We're all going to end up dead anyway, so why even bother trying to get sponsors?

The train rolls into the station. We make our way through the crowd and into the Training Center. The floor we're on is still at the top because they had to make the room for thirteen in the basement. I'm glad to know we'll still have roof access. Also, we have to share rooms because they couldn't build two extra rooms on every floor. Gina and I stay in the same room I stayed in last year, and Chandler and Bryce get Orion's old room. We have about an hour before the stylists come for us. Gina and I sit on the bed, which is big enough for at least three people to sleep in thank goodness.

"Lily, how did you handle it so well?" Gina asks.

"Handle what?" I ask.

"Having to go into the arena and not knowing if, when, and how you're going to die and not knowing if your little brother is going to die," she says, her voice getting high and squeeky like it does when she's try not to cry.

"I don't know... I guess I was trying to be brave so Orion would be brave too," I say.

She bursts into tears. "I don't want to die, I don't want Bryce to die, I just want to go home."

"I'm so sorry, Gina. Bryce never should've been picked. It's not right."

Gina cries until Anita fetches us to go to the remake center. I'm dreading this meeting with my prep team. They are not going to be happy.

If these people do not stop crying, I swear I will kill them. Venia rips a patch of hair off my legs for the five millionth time. I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth.

"Sorry," she sniffs. "That's the last one." They rub the cream over my body that stops the burning, tingling sensation the waxing left. Octavia plucks hair from my makeup while Venia works on my nails and Flavius works on my hair.

"There," Flavius says. "We can call Cinna now." the three of them leave the room and Cinna comes in, looking as calm and put together as ever. We eat a lunch of lamb stew before he sets to work on my outfit.

"Will I be on fire tonight?" I ask.

"Sort of, but this year, we're going to try something a little different," he says.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You'll see." He helps me into a black dress that is tight fitting until it reaches my knees, where it fans out, 'mermaid style' Cinna called it. He puts a ton of jewelry on me, which is unusual being that he didn't put any on me last year. I look in the mirror and realize that the fanned out bottom of my dress has tiny diamonds imbedded in it and all the jewley is made of diamonds.

"Oh," I say. "Diamonds come from coal, I get it." Cinna smiles.

"That's the idea," he says. He grabs a tube of something sparkly and sprinkles it on my hair, my arms, my dress, my face. By the time he screws the cap back on, I'm covered with the stuff. Then, he places a gold crown on my head. "What do you think?" he asks. I look in the mirror at the glittering jewels, the deep black makeup on my eyes, the shiny dust that catches the light every time I move, the gold crown.

"It's beautiful, but won't it be a little cold for this?" I ask.

"They put a dome over the avenue of the tributes so it wouldn't be cold," he says.

"So they can put up a dome, but they can't give us separate bedrooms," I say.

"Got to take car of the important stuff," he says sarcastically. "One more thing." He pins the mockingjay to my dress. "That's everything. Let's go."

Cinna and I are the last members of our team to arrive. Chandler and Bryce have on black shirts and black pants with diamonds at various places and the same sparkle dust stuff. Gina wears the same outfit that I do, except instead of a crown, she has a diamond clip in her hair and lighter makeup. Two people come up to me and introduce themselves. Kandi, a young girl who can't be any older than eighteen, is Bryce's stylist, and Marcellus, a flamboyant older man, is Gina's stylist. When they turn away, Gina whispers, "That man is crazy!" I laugh.

"What's so funny?" Marcellus asks, his Capitol accent is so heavy, I can hardly understand it.

"Nothing, Marcellus," Gina says. He turns back around and Gina and I laugh silently. A man announces that we have two minutes until the ceremonies start. Cinna comes over to me, holding the familiar stick that lit me on fire last year.

"I did say you would be on fire," he says. He clicks a button and holds it to the crown. "Perfect," he says. Just before we get on the chariot, Deena comes over and gives me a quick hug. I'm guessing she's Chandler's stylist.

"Lily and Chandler in the middle, Gina beside Lily, Bryce beside Chandler," Cinna says.

"Chandler, Gina and Bryce wave to the crowd, but Lily, look straight ahead. No smiling, no waving, you're above it all," Deena says. The horses begin to trot forward.

"Ready?" I ask Chandler.

"I guess so," he says. The chariot bursts through the doors. The crowd erupts into applause. I keep my stare straight forward, ignoring the crowd, the cheers, the chanting of my name. I'm above it all.

The chariots come to a stop. Kingsman comes out onto the podium. Our eyes meet and I give him an evil stare. He quickly averts his gaze to district two.

"Welcome tributes. Welcome to the Seventy-Seventh Hunger Games, and the first winter games. Good luck, and," he turns his eyes back to me, "may the odds be ever in your favor." Our chariots turn to roll away. That guy really needs to get some advice on writing speeches.

"Good evening, folks!" Riley says, his hair died a vibrant green. "The opening ceremonies were a hit! Congrats to our tributes and their stylists! Now, to what you've been waiting for, the betting charts! For this, we turn to my good friend and cohost, Callysta!"

"Thanks Riley. Things are very close up at our tops spots. But we start at the bottom with number 52, from district thirteen, Suki Kain!" An image of a small girl with short blonde hair pops up. I didn't really notice her on the reaping recap. District thirteen ends up occupying all of the bottom four spots. I guess people aren't putting a whole lot of faith in them. Gina is number thirty. We all clap and congratulate her, but she seems disappointed. Bryce gets twenty-nine, Ash Mason gets twenty-five, Aspen Mason gets twenty-two, Chandler gets fifteen, Vasi Paran gets four, Jayda Sepprina gets three. "Like last year, our top two are extremely close. Separated by only a few bets, we have number two, Anya Phillips, and number one, Lily Mellark!" Everyone claps, but I'm kind of sad. I feel bad that a lot of people are going to loose money over me.


	38. Career

**Thanks for all the great reviews! Only four more until we hit 50! **

"Before we go to training, we need to discuss strategy," mom says. "Do you all mind being coached together, or do you want to be coached separately?" We all agree that we'd rather be coached together. "Good. We already know Lily can use a bow, it we need to know what the rest of you can do. Chandler, you start."

"Um... I guess I'm okay with a knife," he says. That news.

"Okay, Bryce," mom says.

"I used to be able to climb trees. I don't know if I still can," he says.

"Gina,"

"I can use a spear," she says. We all drop our forks and stare at her.

"What?" Mom asks.

"I know this sounds weird, but I used to make spears out of wood and throw them for fun, and I got pretty good at it," she says. She sounds embarassed about it.

"Why do you sound so embarrassed about it? That's great! For training, Lily, work on survival skills such as starting fires and edible plants and you might want to work on something like knife throwing or spear throwing, Chandler, do some survival skills and some weapons, Bryce, work on both, and Gina, do both, but try spear throwing just to get used to the spears. Got it?" mom says. We nod.

"Is Kingsman cutting training short again?" I ask.

"I'm not sure, but I would guess yes," dad says.

"Okay, that's everything then. Anita, you can walk them down this year," mom says. Anita smiles and walks us to the elevator. On the second floor, Anya and the other kids from two get on. Somehow, Anya and I end up beside each other. She glares at me through her small dark brown eyes. When we get off, I let everyone else go in front of me, so Chandler and I end up in the back.

"What is up with that girl?" Chandler asks, looking at Anya.

"Victor's grandchild, career," I say. He nods. There's nothing more to say.

We're the first two districts to arrive. I somehow end up sandwiched between Chandler and Anya. Her vicious glare never leaves me. District one finally arrives. Jayda stands behind me. I don't even have to turn around to know that she's glaring at me. I notice a boy from one, I never caught his name, is huge. Not like fat-huge, but huge as in over six feet tall and muscular. He must be a career.

The other districts finally arrive, and the head trainer, Maia, gives her speech about training rules. I don't even bother to listen. The only part I really hear is the part where she tells us to go to training.

"Where are you going to go?" Chandler asks.

"Knife throwing. Get it over with now," I say. "What about you?"

"I guess I'll try setting traps," he says.

"See you at lunch," I say.

I head over to knife throwing and immediately wish I hadn't. Of course, Anya is waiting in line behind me. I'm almost at the front of the line when she snatches my hand and starts dragging me.

"Hey!" I shout. "Let me go!" I struggle to free my hand, but her grip is too tight. She finally lets me go, but when she does, we're in a dark corner of the training room, and I'm surrounded by four other people.

"Alright, Mellark, here's the deal," Anya hisses. "We want you in on the career pack. I suggest you accept."

"And if I don't?" I ask. She smiles evily.

"Do you know how my grandmother won her games?" she asks.

"No," I say.

"She won it by ripping her opponent's throat out with her teeth." Well, isn't that ironic? "Do you want the same thing to happen to you?" I consider this for a moment.

"I'll consult my mentors. And if they recommend that I join, I will. On one condition," I say.

"What is it?" Anya asks.

"You let Chandler in, too."

"No," Anya hisses.

"Anya," a soft, high-pitched childlike voice says. Annabelle Odair steps forward. "Is it really that much to ask?" she says.

"Fine," Anya says grudgingly. "Your boyfriend scores an eight or above for training, we'll let him in, if not, too bad."

"Deal," I say.

"I will expect your answer after the interviews. I'll hang behind until you're done," she says. The group of six, which includes Anya, Annabelle, Jayda, Vasi, the tall boy from one, and another boy that I don't recognize. I walk as calmly as possible back to knife throwing. Turns out, I'm pretty good at it. I'm not sure if I could kill someone throwing knives, but I could maybe hit them and slow them down. I only spend about thirty minutes there though. I go to edible plants next. It takes about an hour and a half for me to be able to identify all of the plants. I look over at the spear throwing station in time to see Gina spear a dummy straight through the heart. I did not think she had that in her. Will she be able to use it to kill someone, though?

By the time they call us to lunch, I've only been to knife throwing, edible plants, shelter making, and fire starting. I quickly make my way around the food carts and sit down in the far left corner of the room. Chandler, Gina, and Bryce join me after they get their food.

"So, what have you all covered?" Gina asks. I'm hit with a pang of guilt for not including her in the, shall we call it, "career agreement." Everyone rattles off all the stations they've visited. They get to me, and I tell them. It's a lot less than everyone else, but I don't care.

"I assume we're all going to be allies, right?" Gina says. Everyone except me nods in agreement. "Lily?" Gina asks. I bite my bottom lip. How do I start this conversation off? 'Oh, the careers want me in the pack and I only made them take Chandler in.'

"Um... I'm just going to tell it to you straight, I either join the careers or have my throat ripped out by Anya," I say.

"And you said yes?" Gina says.

"Not exactly... I'm going to talk with mom and dad about it, and I also have an agreement with them."

"What's the agreement?"

"Listen to the whole thing before you go off on me. I will only join the pack if they let Chandler in, and Chandler only gets in if he scores an eight or above for training. The reason I didn't include you and Bryce is because you two are pretty much the only ones who have a crack at winning, so I figured if Chandler and I are with the careers, whatever Kingsman does to kill us will simultaneously kill the careers."

"Fair enough."

"Chandler would you be willing to join the careers?"

"If you are, I am."

"Then I suggest working with weapons for the rest of the day. And please score at least an eight."

Back at training, I decide to try something I never thought I would. Trident handling. Annabelle Odair is there, too. There's no way she will be able to throw, let alone pick up a trident. To my surprise, she sends one flying straight into the neck of the target. She looks at my dumbfounded expression and smiles.

"Will you teach me how to do that?" I ask. She giggles.

"Sure, if you'll teach me how to use a bow and arrow," she says in her high, childish voice.

"Okay," I say. She pulls her long, bronze colored hair into a messy bun, and starts her lesson. To be on,y twelve or thirteen years old, she's good with that trident. By the time she's done with my lesson, I'm (almost) a pro with a trident. She picks up archery easily, but she's not quite as good as me. We go back to training by ourselves. I try camouflage, climbing, spear throwing, knot tying, edible insects, and trap setting. Maia calls us back to the center of the room and announces that this was our only day of training, and that private sessions will start tomorrow at eight in the morning. Then, she dismisses us. On the way out, Anya smiles at me. No, it's more like bearing her teeth. She's reminding me that my throat will be ripped out if I don't join her little pack. Annabelle, however, gives me a genuine smile. I think I could get along with her if I join the careers.

Gina doesn't say much to me the rest of the night. Even though she claimed to understand my reason for not putting her in the career agreement, I think she's just disguising hurt.

Mom and dad finally send us to bed. I stay back to talk to them about the careers. I explain the whole agreement and the threat of having my throat ripped out.

"What should I do?" I ask.

"Well," dad says. "Under most circumstances, I'd say not to trust the careers, but in this case, I'd advise you to join." He pauses for a second. "Even if Chandler doesn't score high enough," he adds quietly.

"What? No! I will not join without him," I say.

"Lily, you don't really have much choice. Unless you want your throat ripped out," mom says.

I sigh. "I guess you're right."

"Who's in the pack?" mom asks.

"Anya Phillips, Jayda Sepprina, Vasi Paran, Annabelle Odair, a boy from one, and a boy from two."

"Okay," dad says. "Go to bed, you've got a big day tomorrow."

I walk into the room, and find Gina sitting up waiting for me. "What did thy say?" she asks.

"Join, with or without Chandler," I say.

"Oh," she says, sounding slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry that I didn't put you in the agreement," I say.

"It's okay," she says.

"No, it's not. We've been best friends since we could talk, and I just left you out. It was wrong, and unfair of me. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. But if you need to break away from them, find us."

"Thanks."

I put on a loose nightgown and crawl under the heavy sheets. Training definitely took it's tole on my energy. I fall asleep in minutes.


	39. Seven

A message arrives at 7:15 this morning.

_Due to the amount of tributes, we will be assigning each district a time slot to come down and private session time will be reduced to 10 minutes._

_District 1: 8:00-8:40_

_District 2: 8:50-9:30_

_District 3: 9:40-10:20_

_District 4- 10:30-11:10_

_Break for Gamemakers: 11:10-11:50_

_District 5: 11:50-12:30_

_District 6: 12:40-1:20_

_District 7: 1:30-2:10_

_District 8: 2:20-3:00_

_Break for Gamemakers: 3:00-3:40_

_District 9: 3:40-4:20_

_District 10- 4:30-5:10_

_District 11- 5:20-6:00_

_District 12- 6:10-6:50_

_District 13- 7:00-7:40_

_Thank you for your corporation. Interviews will be tomorrow night._

"Wow... I feel bad for the gamemakers," Bryce says.

"Gamemakers? They have the easy job. All they do is sit around and watch a bunch of kids do stuff and take notes on them. You should feel bad for us. The gamemakers will just be drunk and give us all low scores," I say.

"Maybe they'll have a pig," mom mumbles.

"What?" I ask.

"When the gamemakers didn't pay attention to me, I shot and arrow at an apple in a roast pig's mouth," she says. We all start to laugh.

"So what do we do until our sessions?" Gina asks.

"I guess we better work on interviews," dad says. "Bryce, go with Katniss, Gina come with me, and Chandler go with Lily."

"Don't I need coaching, too?" I ask.

"I think you can do it yourself," dad says. Mom and dad take Gina and Bryce to separate rooms.

"So, where do we go?" Chandler asks. I think for a minute.

"The roof," I says. A smile spreads across my face.

"What?" he asks.

"Just follow me." I lead him up the stairs that go to the roof. It's really cold, but it doesn't bother either of us.

"So what do we do first, teacher?" Chandler asks.

"The first thing is to not call me teacher," I say.

"Oh, okay. Teacher." I roll my eyes.

"We need to come up with a direction for your interview. Some ideas are arrogant, funny, tough, nice, intimidating, sly, that kind of thing."

"Um, let's try nice."

I ask him a bunch of questions, he breezes through them. I try to avoid things like the Capitol and his family. After only an hour, I decide that he's good on interview skills.

"What do we do now?" Chandler asks.

"We wait," I say. "We can order some food if you want."

"Okay."

We order a bunch of food and have a sort of picnic. I guess we should go back down, but nobody comes to get us. Eventually, we get too cold and head back inside. It's only noon. We've still got six hours until our private sessions. Chandler and I sit on the couch. I guess I must fall asleep, because I open my eyes and the clock says 3:25. Three more hours.

"What are we going to do if the gamemakers give us all low scores?" I ask.

"I don't know," Chandler says.

"Mom and dad want me in the career pack no matter what. You've got to do something to get their attention."

"Don't worry, I will."

"Gina Mayer," an automated voice says.

"Good luck," I tell her.

"Thanks," she says. Ten more minutes until I have to go. It seems like hours before I'm called. I'm a lot more nervous this year than last year. I can't do just archery since they already know I can do that. I guess I can do something with the trident and throw some knives.

"Lily Mellark, District 12," I say. Some of the gamemakers put down their wine glasses and watch me, but most just continue to talk, eat, or drink. "I said, Lily Mellark, District 12!" I shout. This time, they all turn their eyes to me. "Thank you," I say. I walk over to the trident station and chuck one at the dummy. I pretend that the dummy is a gamemaker. It's satisfying, imagining killing the people who probably already have orders to kill me. For some reason, anger washes over me. I'm fed up with putting on a show for these people. I yank the trident out of the dummy and throw it on the ground.

"I'm finished," I say. I don't care if I get a low score. I'll still be everyone's target. As I leave the room, I see stunned looks on the gamemaker's faces. Good. I hope they give me a low score.

"You did what?" Anita asks.

"I threw a trident and stormed out," I say.

"Do you realize that you just condemned yourself to get the lowest score of the day?" Anita asks.

"Good. I don't care." Anita throws her hands in the air and storms out of the room.

"I've got to agree with Anita on this one," dad says.

"I'm done putting on a show for them," I say. "Like I said, I don't care if they score me low."

"Well, we're about to find out," mom says. We make our way to the couch. Riley and Callysta come up on the television screen.

"Good evening everyone! It's time to get those training scores!" Jayda gets a nine, the other career boy from one, Royce, I think they said his name was, gets an eight, Anya gets a ten, the career boy from two, Brant, gets a nine, Annabelle gets a nine, Vasi gets an eight. It seems like forever until they get to district twelve. "Gina Mayer, seven!" We all clap for her. Honestly, even I'm surprised that she scored so high. "Lily Mellark," have they ever given a one? "Twelve!" I know I should be happy, but I'm not. I know why they did it. To make me an even bigger target. Exactly what I need. "Bryce Mayer, five!" Bryce frowns. Now for the moment of truth. "Chandler Newcome." Eight, eight, please say eight.

"Seven."


	40. As Far as it Takes

**Yay! 50 reviews!**

"No!" I shout. Chandler puts his arm around me. I burst into tears.

"It's okay, Lily," he whispers.

"No, it's not. I'll be with the careers, and, and you'll be somewhere else and, and."

"Lily, it's going to be okay. We'll be fine," he whispers.

"I know, I know, but what if-"

"Don't worry. We'll be fine." I hear Anita tell us to go to bed. Chandler walks with me to the room.

"I'm not going to join that pack," I say.

"You have to, Lily. Anya will kill you if you don't," he says.

"I don't care. Maybe I want her to kill me. Get it over with faster."

"Don't say that, Lily."

"It's true, though. I just want this to be over with. The sooner the better."

"Don't do anything stupid. At least make it look like you're trying."

"But-"

"Goodnight." He kisses my forehead lightly. I walk into my room and plop down next to Gina. She's already asleep. I fall into a restless sleep. In my dreams, I have to watch Chandler and Gina die, and I can't do anything but scream at the top of my lungs. After I wake up, I don't go back to sleep. I can't help but think of how much Anya's going to hate it when I wake up screaming and announce our location to the world.

"Is something wrong, Lily?" Cinna asks.

"No," I say.

"I know you're lying. You can tell me."

I sigh. "I have to be in the career pack without Chandler."

"You have to?"

"It's either that or have my throat ripped out."

"I guess you do have to then. Why don't we, um, get you in your outfit?"

"Yeah, good idea." Nice subject change. "Diamonds again?"

"No, we're going back to fire. People seem to like better."

A little while later, I'm dressed in a long, black dress with red, orange, and yellow sleeves that sit just off my shoulders, and a ribbon around my waist made of the same red, orange, and yellow material. I spin around to see the back, and for a moment, the bottom of the dress catches on fire. I jump a bit, making the bottom catch fire again.

"That's cool," I say, twisting around to make it spark again.

"Glad you like it," he says. We make our way to the waiting room about two hours early. Even then, it's already packed. Unsurprisingly, district two is there already. Anya doesn't even look my way, thankfully. She's going to be mad that I out scored her in training, even if it was only to make me a bigger target.

The other districts arrive, making things more and more cramped. It's Clare that this room was built to hold twenty-four kids, not fifty-two. Even after the mentors and stylists leave, we're practically standing on top of each other. Every time I move and the bottom of the dress flares up, people either jump away or stare in awe. Gina eyes me jealously. Our outfits didn't have to be coordinated, so everyone kind of went their own way. Gina has a red dress with and intricate design made of diamonds on the top, Bryce has a suit with a red tie that has diamonds on it, and Chandler has a suit with flames on the arms that change color, like a real flame.

"Line up!" a man with a heavy Capitol accent says. We try to line up against the wall, but we don't all fit, so we end up forming a double line. The wait is tedious, but we eventually make it to the front of the line. Gina goes on before me. I can't hear her interview, but judging by the sound of the crowd, it went well. An attendant ushers me into the tube and I'm lifted to the stage.

"Up next, for the second time, we have the daughter of victors Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, give it up for Lily Mellark!" I walk onto the stage. At first, the crowd falls silent. Then, they erupt into thunderous applause. I sit down in front of Reilly. "Welcome, Lily. That was quite an entrance!" The crowd whoops and claps in agreement. "I have to say, I never thought I'd see you here again. How do you feel going back into the games?"

"I'm not going to lie, it's terrifying. I thought I was safe and then..." I trail off.

"And then you have to do it all over again." I nod. "Do you feel that you have an edge since you've been here before?"

"I do feel that it gives me an edge since I have a vague idea of how things work, but the arena is always different, and my competitors are different, too."

"I see. Can you give us some insight as to how you got a twelve for your training score? You must be very proud."

"I'm proud of it," not, "but I would prefer not to give away details."

"Please, just a little?"

"Sorry, but I believe these things are confidential." The crowd gives disappointed 'aw's.

"Yes, I do believe the rules state that private sessions are confidential. Can you describe your reaction to your score though?"

"I was shocked. I was sure that I had done terrible. I guess I was wrong."

"Yes, I'd say you were very wrong. Do you feel that you will be able to win again?"

I ponder this for a moment. I know I have to lie. "I don't want to be overly confident, but I think I have a good chance of winning again."

"Your fellow tribute, Chandler Newcome, was on the victory tour with you. Tell us, what is your relationship to him?"

I smile. "He's my boyfriend."

"How unfortunate that you are both in the same games.

"It's hard. I try not to think about the fact that at least one of us will die. And Gina has been my best friend since we could walk."

"I am so sorry to hear that. This situation must have be extremely hard for all of you." I feel tears coming to my eyes. Thank goodness, the buzzer comes to my rescue. "Let's have one more round of applause for Lily Mellark!" The audience claps, but I can see anger reflected in their faces. I hope nothing like last year happens. The last thing we need is to have twenty-four more tributes in the arena. I walk off the stage, my dress flaming around my feet.

The second I step out of the tube, Anya snatches my hand and drags me to a dark hallway that I didn't even know existed. In the dim light,mi see her cross her arms.

"I assume your answer is no," she says.

"Actually, I thought it through and I will join the pack," I say.

"Even without your boyfriend?"

"Even without him."

"Alright, Lily. Welcome to the careers." We shake hands, and go back to the waiting room. Bryce is just coming out of the tube.

"How did it go?" I ask him.

"Terrible," he grumbles. "I froze."

"I'm sorry," I say. He leans against the wall with his arms crossed. I walk over to the screens to watch Chandler. He and Rielly talk with each other easily, almost like they've known each other forever. He asks about how he feels about having his girlfriend in the games.

"It's awful. I try so hard to be brave for her, but in truth, I'm terrified. I don't want either of us to die."

"How far would you be willing to go to protect her?"

"As far as it takes." The buzzer goes off.

"Let's give Chandler another round of applause!"

Chandler comes out of the tube. I start to run to him, but I forget that I have high heels and a long dress on. I trip over the dress and fall straight forward. Luckily, Chandler is close enough to catch me just before I hit the floor. As he helps me get back to my feet, I hear the sound of ripping fabric. I look done to see that the bottom of my dress has a giant hole in it. Oh well. I wrap my arms around Chandler.

"How'd I do, teacher?" he asks.

"It was perfect," I say.

"Come, come, you two. We need to get back to the room," Anita says. We follow her. I'm careful to go a bit more slowly this time.

I know I won't be able to sleep tonight, so just before we go into our rooms, I whisper to Chandler, "Meet me on the roof in ten minutes." I change out of the ripped black dress and exchange it for some long, fuzzy pants from the pajama drawer and a long sleeved black shirt. The clock says 8:23. Seven more minutes. To pass the time, I brush my hair out of the complicated style it was in, and wash the makeup from my face. 8:28. I start to head for the roof, but I turn back and grab a spare blanket and order two glasses of the warm milk with honey and cinnamon. After they come, I head up to the roof.

Chandler joins me shortly after I arrive. I hand him a cup of the milk.

"That's really good," he says. I notice that he's shivering. I toss the blanket over our legs. "Thanks," he says.

"You scared?" I ask.

"Terrified. Are you?"

"I'm scared out of my mind. I think I'm more scared this year."

"Why?"

"I guess... Last year I had prepared myself to die for Orion, and I was okay with it, but this year... It just came sooner than I expected, and I'll have to be alone with the careers." My voice is starting to get high and squeaky like it does when I'm trying not to cry. "And you and Gina and Bryce will be out there and I won't be able to protect you-"

"Is that what you're worried about? Not being able to protect us?" I nod. "Lily," he tilts my head so I have to look in his eyes. "We're going to be fine."

"I know, but you know we're both going to die and I guess... I guess I just wanted to be with you when it happen."

"Maybe it will be better this way, then. If it doesn't happen at the same time, I won't have to watch you die, you won't have to watch me die."

"True." I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. I guess I fall asleep, because the next time I open my eyes, I'm laying in the bed.


	41. Meadow

"I'm going to miss you mom," I say. She wiggles out of my tight grip. There are tears in her eyes. She bends down so she is looking me directly in the eyes.

"Lily, whatever happens in there, you have to promise me to make it to the final ten," she says.

"He probably won't let me make it that long."

"Whatever he does, you have to outsmart him. Please, Lily. You have to."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you, but you have to." A Capitol man tells me it's time to go. I fling my arms around mom, knowing it's the last time I'll ever see her. The man pulls me away from mom.

"I'll make it to the final ten, I promise!" I shout. I hear mom shouting from behind me.

"Keep Annabelle alive!" I'm completely lost. Why is she so insistent on me making it to the final ten? And why does she want me to keep Annabelle alive? It's not that I have a problem with Annabelle, but why her? It must be something to do with her grandmother, Annie Odair.

An electric current freezes me in place on the ladder. The ladder begins to pull me into the hovercraft. Just before my view of the world disappears, I shout, "I love you!" to mom. The ladder pulls me all the way into the hovercraft, and I'm injected with a tracker. Once the electric current unfreezes me, I walk over to a chair by the window. I watch the world breeze by. A blur of green trees and cloudless blue sky. It almost reminds me of the meadow back home.

Home. Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I'll never see my home or the meadow again. I close my eyes, and try to bring an image of the meadow up, but no matter how hard I try, I can't. All I can think about is different ways Kingsman could kill me. Mutts, earthquake, a random bolt of lightening that 'mysteriously' hits me. The list is endless. But I do know one thing: I have to make it into the top ten.

"Thirty seconds."

I take a deep breath and suppress a scream. Cinna fastens the mockingjay pin to my black jacket. I throw my arms around him.

"Thank you," I say. "For everything."

"Twenty seconds." Cinna hands me a glass of water, and I chug down the remaining water. I almost wish I would blank out now and forget everything.

"Be brave, Lily," he says. My entire body starts shaking. "Deep breaths." I nod and take a deep breath. "You're going to do fine."

"No," I choke out. "I'm not coming back."

"Ten seconds."

"Don't start thinking like that."

"You don't understand, there's no way Kingsman will-"

"Don't start thinking like that. Come on, it's time to get in the launch tube." I tentatively step into the launch tube and the entrance slides shut. I have to grip the hem of my long black shirt to keep from banging against the clear walls of the tube. The plate begins to rise. Deep breaths, deep breaths. I close my eyes, and when I open them, I'm in the meadow on a warm summer day. I breath in the clean, slightly humid air. It smells lightly of wildflowers. Hold on, something's wrong. The cornucopia is in the middle of the clearing I'm in, and there are fifty-one other kids surrounding it. Wait a minute...

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-seventh Hunger Games begin!"

The cornucopia. The kids. The voice. The pieces are coming together.

The meadow is the arena.

A smile creeps onto my face. I know what Kingsman planned to do. He planned to make me homesick, to break me, but he's actually given me the biggest advantage he could've possibly given me. For the first time since coming here, a wave of confidence comes over me. I know this place better than anyone here. Maybe, just maybe I can outsmart Kingsman. I glance at Chandler and see that he, too is smiling.

_Five_

_Four_

_Three_

_Two_

_One_

The gong rings, and I run, dodging rocks and sticks as I go. I reach the cornucopia just as Annabelle does.

"Is there a plan?" I ask her.

"Take the cornucopia," she says. She's poised with a trident before I can even see a bow. I fish around in the mouth, but there isn't one in sight. Of course Kingsman wouldn't put one in here. That would be an advantage. I grab the first weapon I can, a spear. I hear someone shout "Duck!" so I do, just in time to see a trident fly over my head. Someone screams. I don't dare to look to see who it is. By the time I stand up, Annabelle already has a spear in her hand. A sharp pain shoots up my left leg. I look down and see a knife sticking out of my calf and a patch of red soaking into my jeans. I grit my teeth and throw the spear at my attacker, a tall boy, I'm not sure where he's from. The spear enters his stomach and he drops to the ground.

"Lily!" someone shouts. I whip around and see Chandler. He throws two things at me. A bow and sheath of arrows.

"Run!" I yell. Our eyes meet for a second before he runs in the direction of the lake. I make a mental note to avoid the lake. A scream reminds me that I have to focus. I whip an arrow into place. I'm not going to kill anyone unless I have to. Maybe I should just make a run for the lake, get away from the bloodbath and the careers. I'd give anything to escape the ear piercing screams of dying children.

Without warning, the screams all morph into the same, familiar sound. Chandler's screams. The world becomes a white cell and I can see the men coming towards me with clubs and whips. My hands fly to my ears and I drop to the ground.

Someone lifts me off the ground and sets me down. There's something hard against my back. I squeeze my eyes shut, and when I open them, I'm back in the meadow, the arena. Flashback, now? Really? This is great. I shake the sounds of Chandler's screams from my head and stand back up. Annabelle shoots me an apologetic look. I reposition my arrow and prepare to defend myself against any attackers. A boy aims a spear at me, so I send the arrow flying towards him. It hits him in the neck, and he drops to the ground. I send a mental apology to his family. Anya is now on my other side and throwing knives in every direction. Each one finds it mark and an innocent child drops to the ground, dead or dying. Most of the other tributes have cleared out. There are dead bodies littering the meadow. My meadow. I scan the faces quickly. I'm relieved not to see Gina or Bryce's faces amongst them. However, I do see Brant, from two and Royce, from one. Anya walks over to me and stands far to close for comfort.

"What in the world was that!" she shouts.

"What was what?" I ask.

"You had your bow loaded and you just dropped to the ground with your hands over your ears! What is wrong with you?"

"I... I... I..." Anya grabs my jacket and slams me against the cornucopia.

"Answer me!"

"I had a flashback," She releases her grip on me.

"Well don't let it happen again."

"Anya," Annabelle whispers. "She can't control it." Anya opens her mouth to say something, but she just shakes her head.

"Don't make me regret keeping you alive," she says to me. Jayda and Vasi come over to where we're standing. They each hold a weapon, Jayda, an axe, Vasi a sword.

"Pick over the supplies. Find a backpack, put supplies in it, and we'll head out," Anya says.

"There's something I need to tell you," I say.

"What?" she asks.

"This sounds crazy, but the arena is the meadow that's outside of my district. It's like my second home. I know it like the back of my hand." Everyone stares at me blankly.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jayda says.

"Nope. I used to hunt here before... he took over," I say.

"Well then I guess you can lead us," Annabelle says. Anya glares at me.

"You better not be lying," she says. I grab a dark green backpack from the cornucopia and fill it with a pack of crackers, a water bottle, water purification tablets, matches, and a sleeping bag. The adrenaline rush is starting to fade, and what was a dull ache in my leg is now a throbbing, searing pain. I roll up the leg of my pants and see the bloody cut where the knife entered my leg. Annabelle sees me examining the wound and rushes to my side with a first aid kit.

"What happened?" she asks.

"Knife," I say through gritted teeth.

"This is going to hurt a little." She pours a clear liquid over the cut. It feels like someone lit my leg on fire. I let out a small shriek. "You'll thank me later," she says.

"Doubt it," I say. She smiles.

"It'll prevent infection." She wraps it with bandages. "Is it too tight?"

"Nope," I say.

"Just to warn you, I'll need to clean it out at least once a day."

"Great." She helps me to my feet. I take my arrow from the stomach of the boy. I can't make myself look at his face. Annabelle arms herself with two more tridents, Anya packs an array of knives in her backpack, Vasi slides a machete under his belt, Jayda grabs an extra axe, and I take an extra sheath of arrows.

"Everyone ready?" Anya says. Everyone nods. "Then we should move out." She narrows her eyes and looks at me. "Lily, take the lead." Ideally, I'd head to the lake, but that's not an option. So I turn in the direction of the place where I used hunt. Every step sends pain shooting up my leg, but I don't stop.

After walking for only ten minutes, the cannons stop us short. They seem to never end.

"How many?" I ask.

"Twenty," Vasi says. Twenty kids dead in only a few hours. Anya, Vasi, and Jayda high-five each other victoriously. Annabelle and I just hang our heads low.

"We should keep going and find a camp," I say.

"Right," Jayda says. We continue to walk. I stop and shoot a squirrel so we'll have something to eat. Eventually, we come across a cluster of trees that looks to be a suitable camp area. It's further into the meadow than I've ever been. We start a fire and cook the squirrel. Jayda turns her nose up at it and says she'll wait for sponsors to send her some 'real food.' After the squirrel is cooked, we fight over the meat. Anya and Vasi end up with the largest portions, leaving Annabelle and I with the scraps.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but squirel's not that bad," Vasi says. Jayda wrinkles her nose.

"You'll have to eat something eventually, Jayda," Annabelle says.

"I know," she says. She reaches for her backpack and pulls out a packet of dried fruit. "I'll eat this."

"Let me know how that works out for you in a week," Annabelle says. Jayda huffs and pulls out a piece of dried banana.

"We'll need to find some water soon. Lily, do you know of any water source around here?" Anya asks. I pause for a moment, which I know gives me away.

"Yes, but the water is disgusting. Tons of... Leaves and algae." I hope that covers me well enough.

"So it wouldn't be safe to drink?" Anya asks.

"No, definitely not."

"Okay, so we can try looking for water elsewhere." I can't believe that worked. I can only hope that Chandler, Gina, and Bryce stay at the lake. A cannon fires. _Please don't let it be one of my friends._

"Who should take first watch?" Jayda asks.

"Lily," Any says.

"Why me?" I ask.

"You're the underdog in this group," Anya says.

"Excuse me? I have been in the arena before and made it out alive, and you're calling me the underdog?"

"I'm sorry Oh Great And Powerful Lily. I forgot that we should be bowing down to you."

"I'm not asking for that, I'm just asking for a little bit more respect!"

"I don't respect worthless pieces of District Twelve trash." Annabelle stands between us before I can punch Anya in the face.

"Cool it, you two. I'll take first watch," she says. The Capitol anthem begins to play. The first face to appear is Royce, from one, then the other boy from one, Brant, from two, the other girl from two, a boy from four, both girls from five, a boy from six, a girl and boy from seven, not Ash or Aspen, all four from eight, the other boy from nine, a girl from ten, both boys from eleven, and both boys and a girl from thirteen. That means all my friends are alive. I breath a sigh of relief.

"Alright, that means there are still twenty-six other kids out there," Vasi says.

"How exactly do you get twenty-six?" Jayda asks.

"Not including us, genius," he says.

"Oh," Jayda says.

"Tomorrow, we hunt," Anya says. I get the feeling that she isn't talking about food hunting.


	42. Mockingjays and Fluffy Squirrels

Something hits my face. I roll over to block out whatever it was. Something sharp pinches my arm. Okay, what's going on? My eyes fly open and I gasp. There is no clear sky in sight. Just a huge black mass with spots of white dotting it a random intervals. Something screeches and drops down from the mass and flies straight for my face. I shriek and cover my face. The thing nips my arm. I uncover my face. The screeching sounds familiar. Almost like...

Mockingjays.

Thousands and thousands of mockingjays.

Clever, Kingsman, clever.

The mockingjays come closer. I scramble to my feet. "Run!" I shout. Everyone is on their feet quickly.

"What is it?" Annabelle shouts.

"Attacking mockingjays, just run!" The mockingjays stop screeching all of the sudden. One of them lets out a cry, and they converge on us. I take off running, not bothering to wait for my allies. I hear someone screaming behind me. Vasi. Something inside me tells me to stop and help him, but a bigger part of me tells me to keep going. I see Annabelle and Anya running beside me and Jayda slightly behind.

"Of all things, mockingjays?" Anya shouts. I tap my pin. She gives me a puzzled look for a second, the nods.

The mockingjays are starting to close in on us. There's no way we can outrun them, no way we can fight them. But maybe, just maybe, I can distract them. What have I got to loose? I don't stop running just in case my idea fails. I turn my head and whistle a tune. Please work, please work. The mockingjays quit screeching and slow down. One by one, they pick up the tune.

"Lily, is this really a good time to be singing to the birds?" Anya shouts.

"Trust me," I yell back. I whistle a longer tune. This time, some of them stop on a tree branch and repeat the tune. "They're slowing down!" I shout.

"Whistle something else!" Annabelle yells. I whistle the tune of The Hanging Tree. They all stop, to listen to this new tune. After I finish it, they pick it up. Even better, they quit chasing us.

"They stopped," I say. We all stop and collapse on the ground panting.

"Where's... Vasi?" Jayda asks. The cannon fires and a hovercraft lifts a very beaten looking Vasi out of the arena.

"Well, he was kind of a weak link anyway," Anya says. How can she be so heartless? He was our ally. She could at least show a little remorse.

"We... should go... back... to camp," Annabelle says. We nod, and drag outselves to our feet.

"Wonder what brought that on?" Jayda asks.

"My pin," I say.

"Strange idea for an attack animal," Annabelle says. "What's next, attack squirrels?"

"Um, guys," Jayda says. "You might want to check this out." We turn around slowly. There's a faint chattering sound coming from a distance, and I can just barely make out something gold in the distance. As they get closer, I can make out individual animals.

"Squirrels? Oh, you've got to be kidding," Annabelle says,

"Isn't that ironic," I say.

"Are they attack squirrels?" Jayda asks.

"Yep," I say. We look at each other for a second. At the same time, we all scream "Run!" My lungs feel like they are on fire. Each step sends a wave of pain through my body, but I barely notice it. All I know is that I have to escape these squirrels. Annabelle screams behind me. Mom's words echo in my mind. Keep Annabelle alive. I stop and turn around. One of the fluffy gold squirrels has attached itself to her leg. I whip an arrow into place and shoot the squirrel. It's grip on her leg releases and it drops to the ground.

"Keep going!" I shout. She nods and runs ahead, limping slightly. I feel a sharp pain in my arm, and see a squirrel hanging off of my elbow. My first thought is: Man these things can jump. My second thought is: Ah! How can I get this thing off? I shake my arm while running to try to get. The squirrel off, but it's grip only tightens. I take an arrow out and stab it until it lets go of me, leaving a deep bite mark.

An unfamiliar scream fills the air. I turn around to see a girl being devoured by the squirrels. Great, so they're carnivorous, too. A cannon fires, and the hovercraft picks up the mangled skeleton of the girl.

"Do you all have weapons?" Anya shouts.

"Yes," Annabelle, Jayda, and I shout

"Annabelle, go right, I'll go left, Lily and Jayda, stay straight. The squirrels should split up, too. Got it?" We nod. "Split up... NOW!" I keep running straight while Annabelle and Anya peel off. I turn around and start shooting the squirrels. There are about ten following Jayda and I. Jayda chops off he squirrel's heads while I shoot them through the eye. We quickly kill them all.

I gather my arrows from the bodies of the dead squirrels. Annabelle jogs over to us, panting. Anya comes from her direction soon after.

"Lily," Annabelle says. "Please tell me that is not normal in the real forest."

"No," I say. "All our mockingjays and squirrels are friendly and non carnivorous.

"Good to know," Annabell says.

"Squirrels and mockingjays," Jayda says. "What's next-"

"NO!" We all shout.

"Kidding!" Jayda says. We all start to laugh. I'm not sure why this is funny, but it is.

"We really should try to find some water. I'm really thirsty," Annabelle says.

"Maybe there's some at the cornucopia," I say. "We could... hunt on the way there." The word hunt feels like poison in my mouth.

"Okay. Lily, do you think you can get us back?" Anya asks.

"Probably," I say. We start to head in the remote direction of the cornucopia. I'm hoping that we don't see anyone on the way there. The cannon goes off twice on our way there. I hope it wasn't one of my friends.

By the time we reach the cornucopia, the sun is just starting to set. We find a ton of things like ropes, sleeping bags, backpacks, bags of fruit, weapons, but no water. Not one drop.

"Maybe we should try our luck with that place you were talking about," Jayda says.

"No!" I say, a little too quickly.

"Why not?" Anya asks.

"The water is disgusting, nasty. Probably poisonous. Even the water purification tablets wouldn't fix it."

"Okay, I guess. Maybe a sponsor will send something," Anya says. "Might as well restock on food and weapons while we're here."

"We need some more medical supplies, too. We're going to need it if crazy mutts keep attacking us," Annabelle says. I grab a red box that contains some of that stuff Annabelle poured on my leg yesterday, hydrogen peroxide is what the label says, bandages, and antibiotic tablets, some extra matches, and some rope to set an animal snares.

"Let's head back," Anya says. We slowly make our way back to camp. My legs are still burning from the cut and from running, and my mouth is dry. I hope we have at least one sponsor who can give us a bottle of water. I'm already getting a headache. By tomorrow, it will be far worse, and we'll be left with no choice but to go to the lake. Judging by Anya's reaction to Vasi's death, I don't think she'll have any problem slaughtering Chandler, Gina, and Bryce.

On the way to camp, I shoot a rabbit and a normal squirrel. They'll make a decent dinner. Even Jayda agrees to eat some.

We get to camp just as the Capitol Anthem begins to play. The first face to appear is the girl from three, the one who was eaten by squirrels, a girl from six, Vasi, a boy from ten, the last face makes my heart stop.

Bryce.


	43. Don't go to the Lake

I gasp. Annabelle puts a hand on my shoulder. "Don't cry. Anya will kill you," she whispers. I nod and try to keep back tears. Bryce. Gone forever. I never should've joined the careers. I should've been there to protect them. Then Bryce would be alive. Who killed him? Or what? I should've been there. Who knows how soon Chandler and Gina will die? I know it will happen soon, I just hope I'm not alive to see it.

"Let's cook up the meat and go to sleep," Anya says. Annabelle starts a fire while I skin the rabbit and squirrel. I try to keep from crying, but I can't hold the tears back.

"Lily, are you crying?" Anya asks.

"No," I say. "It's the smoke. Makes my eyes water."

"Right." I can tell she doesn't believe me, but she doesn't question me. Annabelle elbows me sharply. I turn to look at her. She points to me and makes a motion like wiping her eyes. Stop crying. I nod and wipe my eyes. I know she's right, Anya would be furious if she knew I was mourning the death of a tribute. I silently place the meat over the fire. It cooks up quickly. We all get a decent sized portion today. It would be a whole lot better with something to wash it down with. Why won't any of the mentors give us water?

"We need to clean our cuts out," Annabelle says. "Lilly, can I see your leg?" I swing my left leg around and roll up my pants to reveal the bloody bandages. Annabelle carefully unwraps them. She pours the hydrogen peroxide stuff over the cut, and I let out a small yelp. "Sorry!" she says. She wraps some clean bandages around it. "There. Now let's look at the one on your elbow." She grimaces a little at the sight of the bite. It's swollen up quite a bit. I hope those things weren't poisonous. She pours the hydrogen peroxide over it. I bite my lip so I do make any noise. She wraps some bandages around it. "That'll do for now. We'll need to keep a close eye on it though, since it's so swollen. Will you clean mine out?" she says. I nod. She swings her leg around and rolls up her jeans. It's swollen too, but not nearly as much as mine.

"I guess the pants protect you better than the jacket," I say. I grab the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and pour some over the bite. She cringes. "Sorry," I say. I wrap some bandages around it.

"Thanks," she says. "Anyone else get any cuts or bites?" Anya and Jayda shake their head.

"Who's taking first watch?" Jayda asks.

"I will," I say. I want time alone to cry.

"Really? After that whole fight yesterday, you're just going to volunteer to take first watch?" Anya says.

"Yes. I'm really sorry about that by the way." Not.

"Whatever, then," she says.

"I'll take second watch," Annabelle says.

"I'll do third," Jayda says.

"That leaves me with fourth then," Anya says. We all crawl into our sleeping bags. I'm on the edge, Annabelle is on my right, then Jayda, then Anya. I'm glad to have all the distance me and Anya as possible. I watch them carefully. When I'm sure they're asleep, I allow myself to cry silent tears. Hopefully they won't wake up. Of course, Annabelle opens her eyes. I turn my head and quickly wipe my eyes.

"It's okay, I won't tell her," she says. "If you want to break away, now would be a good time to do it."

I shake my head. "No, I have a promise to keep." I think about telling her that my mom told me to keep her alive, but I decide not to. She might take it offensively, like my mom thinks she can't keep herself alive.

"I'm sorry about your friend," she says. Thinking about Bryce makes more tears come out of my eyes. I didn't know him that well, but he was Gina's brother. That practically makes him family. I know Gina's heartbroken. I wish I could be there for her. Annabelle's suggestion of leaving crosses my mind. No, I have to stay here and keep my promise of keeping her alive. If anyone other than Chandler or Gina has to win, I want it to be her. She's not like the other careers that my parents would talk about, bloodthirsty, ruthless murders. Even though she's not afraid to kill, she has compassion.

A rustling in the trees snaps me back to my senses. Before I can see who or what it is, I have an arrow whipped into place. A pair of eyes gleams in the moonlight. They focus on me. Whatever it is comes into view. A raccoon. I shoot it. Not for its meat though, because I'm scared it's another savage mutt.

"Do you want me to take over watch?" Annabelle asks.

"No. Thanks for the offer though. You should get some rest," I say.

"Okay, but wake me up soon." She lays back down in her sleeping bag. I look up at the dark sky. The moon shines brightly through the trees. I allow myself to go back home, back to the real meadow. Would the moon be this bright? Would it look exactly like this? I'll never know.

After a few hours, I wake up Annabelle. It takes me a while to fall asleep. I dream of Gina sobbing uncontrolably and screaming at me for not being able to protect Bryce. When I wake up, the sun is just starting to rise. Anya is on guard.

"What were you crying about?" she asks accusingly. Oh no... Was I wrong about her being asleep last night.

"I wasn't crying," I say, which probably gave me away if she didn't actually see me crying.

"Yes you were, well in your sleep," she says. That's a relief. I can cover that.

"I was having a nightmare about the squirrels. That's how I react to nightmares sometimes," I say.

"Oh, okay." I'm glad she bought that. She'd either kick me out of the alliance or kill me if she knew I was grieving the death of a tribute.

Annabelle and Jayda wake up a few hours later. I'd estimate it to be about around eight o'clock.

"I think we all agree that today should be about finding water," Anya says. That's when I notice the awful thirst, the burning in my throat, and the pounding headache. We all nod. "I think we should try our chances on that place Lily was talking about." Oh no... No, no, no. We can't go there. We can't.

"I told you, we can't drink the water," I say in a weak effort to prevent us from going.

"Well, you can stay here and die of dehydration. But I'm going to the water," Anya says.

"You don't know where it is," I say.

"I'll figure it out," she says. I open my mouth to say something, when a chorus of chiming interrupts me. Jugs of water drift down over each of us. I jump up and grab mine quickly. There's a tiny note attached to it.

_Stay away from the lake_

_ - K & P_

_p.s. - destroy this_

I immediately destroy the note. Mom and dad did something highly illegal. The might get put in jail or killed or worse, tortured. I rip the note into tiny pieces and scatter them as discreetly as possible. No one seems to notice. The water is still cool, and we each have a gallon bottle, enough to last us a few days if we're careful. I take a long sip. The burning in my throat fades immediately. I drink a few more sips before screwing the cap back on. To my relief, everyone else seems to have done the same.

"Maybe we don't need to look for water today, then," Anya says. I know we'll have to go to the lake eventually, but maybe if we put it off even a little bit, Chandler and Gina will have moved on.

"I think we should split up and have two people stay and guard our stuff while the other two hunt," Jayda says.

"Good idea. Lily and Annabelle can guard while you and I hunt. We'll switch off later," Anya says. She and Jayda gather their weapons and head off in a direction that won't lead to the lake. In a way, I hope that Anya doesn't come back. I know that's terrible, but it's only a matter of time before she kills me. Of course, it's only a matter of time before Kingsman kills me. I wonder which would be worse? Hopefully I won't have to find out.


	44. Even Careers Have Fears

There haven't been any cannons yet today. I think it's about four o'clock. Annabelle and I are hunting, but we haven't seen anyone yet. Anya and Jayda didn't see anyone either. I'm starting to get nervous because a day without deaths will bore the audience, a.k.a. Kingsman. When will his next attack come? Today? Tomorrow? All I know is that it he will send in another attack sooner than later.

"Maybe we should head back. We've been out here for two hours and we still haven't seen anyone," Annabelle says.

"Yeah, I agree," I say. "Plus, it's starting to get cloudy." We both look up at the sky, which is almost black with clouds. "We'll want to be back at camp if it starts to storm." She nods, and we start to head back towards camp. On the way there, I pick some dandelion greens and shoot a rabbit. It will make a decent meal.

The rain still hasn't started. When we get back to camp, there's a rumble of thunder. That means it will start soon. I quickly cook the rabbit and dandelion greens and distribute it amongst us along with some apples that Jayda got from the cornucopia. It's the best meal we've had in a while. Even after we finish, I have an empty feeling in my stomach.

"Looks like we're going to have a storm," Jayda says. As if in agreement, it starts to rain and a flash of lightening illuminates the sky. "Do we need some sort of shelter?" she asks.

"Probably," Anya says. "Does anyone have a tent or a tarp or something like that?" No one says anything.

"We could tie our sleeping bags together and make a sort of shelter," Annabelle says.

"That might work," Anya says. "Plus, we've still got Vasi's sleeping bag." We take two sleeping bags and tie them together, tie each one to a tree, poke holes in the bottom with knives, and secure it to the ground with sticks to create one side, and make the other side the same way. We lay Vasi's old sleeping bag on the bottom so we don't have to sleep on the ground. By the time the whole thing is done, the rain is coming down so hard that we can hardly see. We quickly huddle inside the makeshift tent. It keeps out the rain well.

The Capitol anthem is barely audible through the pounding of the rain and the booming thunder. If anyone died, we can't see it through the pouring rain. Anya volunteers for first watch. I end up with third watch. Despite the thunder, I fall asleep quickly.

I wake up to Jayda nudging me. I instinctively reach for my bow, but when I realize it's her, I relax a little.

"Any cannons?" I ask.

"One," she says. I can't help but wonder if it was Chandler or Gina. Jayda lays back down. I lean against a tree and sit with my bow loaded at my side. It's still pouring down rain, and the thunder is louder than ever.

After about an hour, I hear, or at least I think I hear, the sound of snapping twigs. My grasp on my bow tightens. The sound grows louder. It's definitely snapping twigs. Something, or someone, is coming.

"Are they asleep?" a female voice whispers. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

"Yeah. Sitting ducks," a male voice says.

"I'll take four and twelve, you take one and two," the girl says. I open my eyes enough to see the two figure coming closer. They both hold axes.

"Ready?" the boy says.

"Yep," the girl says.

"Let's go," the boy says. My eyes fly all the way open. I immediately shoot an arrow at the boy. It hits him in the stomach. He falls to the ground and screams "Run!" to the girl. Before she can run away, a knife hits her in the head. I look over and see Anya sitting straight up, breathing hard. The two cannons fire, and Annabelle and Jayda sit up. The hovercraft comes in and removes the bodies. I can barely make out the faces of Ash and Aspen Mason.

"Nice job, Lily," Anya says. I don't respond. I know I had to kill him, but that doesn't mean I won't regret it forever. The only plus (if it can be counted as one) is that the audience won't be bored, and Kingsman might hold off on sending in mutts.

"Might as well try to go back to sleep," Jayda says. She lays back down on the sleeping bag and closes her eyes. How can she sleep so easily after a near-death experience? I reload my bow and take a quick sip of water. Annabelle and Anya don't look like they're going to go back to sleep any time soon.

"I wonder how much longer it's going to rain," Annabelle says.

"Not much longer, I hope," Anya says. There's a hint of fear in her voice. There's a huge clap of thunder. Anya jumps and yelps.

"Are you afraid of thunder?" Annabelle asks.

"N-no," Anya says. "No, of course not. Why would I be afraid of thunder?"

"Uh, you just jumped about ten feet in the air when it thundered a second ago," I say.

"It caught me off guard," she says. There's another, louder clap of thunder. Anya screams.

"Not afraid of thunder?" Annabelle says.

"Fine, I admit it. I'm terrified of thunderstorms. Am I not allowed to be afraid of stuff?" Anya says. Annabelle and I exchange a look. We're both trying to stifle giggles. Of all things she could be afraid of, she's afraid of thunder. Wow... That's pretty pathetic. "Oh, don't act like you two aren't afraid of anything," she says.

"Nothing as pathetic as thunder," Annabelle mutters.

"Cut it out and leave me alone," Anya snaps. She lays back down on the and faces away from us.

I peek out of our tent. There's no sign of the rain letting up any time soon. I guess it's a good thing in a way. It means we can't hunt, and we'll have the rain as a water source. But it also means we can't go food hunting. We still have some apples, beef jerky, and dried fruit, but that won't hold us over that long. Maybe if it doesn't stop raining by the time we finish off the food we'll get some food from a sponsor.

Jayda wakes up after a couple hours. There's not anything to do, so I go back to sleep. When I wake up, it's still raining. Annabelle and Jayda are asleep. Wow, Jayda sleep a lot. I look over at Anya, who has tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong?" I ask. She snaps her head around to look at me. Her cheeks turn bright red.

"Nothing," she snaps. She sniffles a little and wipes her eyes.

"I'm sorry we made fun of you earlier," I say.

"No your not," she says.

"Yes, I am. It's okay to have fears. No matter how irrational they are," I say.

"It's not irrational," she snaps. She looks off in the woods for a moment. "My mom was struck by lightening and killed when I was little," she says softly. "I've been terrified of thunderstorms ever since." I feel really guilty now.

"I'm so sorry," I say. I can't think of anything else to say.

"Don't you dare tell the others," she says.

"I won't," I say. She turns her head back to the water-soaked woods. It thunders, and she flinches. I never thought I'd say this, but I feel really bad for her. I always imagined that the careers would be fearless, but I guess even careers have fears.


	45. Crickets

**Sorry if these past few chapters have been sort of boring. I promice the next chapter will be better! **

I hate rain. I hate it with all of my heart. The only deaths in the past three days have been the girl from three, Ash and Aspen from seven, and a girl from eleven. Then rain hasn't let up at all. We drained our meager food supply two days ago. I'm so hungry it hurts. Surprisingly, Kingsman hasn't sent in any mutts. Yet. I wonder why he hasn't killed me yet. The only reason I can fathom is that he's going to keep me around until the final two and make my death the finale. I hope he doesn't do that. He hasn't killed Chandler or Gina yet. That could either be good or bad, I guess. I try not to think about it too much.

Why won't the sponsors give us food? Do we even have any? If we do, then why won't our mentors give us any? We'll end up dying of starvation if we don't get any food soon. I notice a cricket hoping on the ground beside me. I'm so hungry that I eat it without thinking twice. Jayda gives me a disgusted look, but when another cricket hops up beside her, she eyes it hungrily.

"It doesn't taste that bad. You might as well eat it," I tell her. She sighs and pops the cricket in her mouth. She makes a face as she swallows but doesn't complain.

"So this is what our last meal might be," Jayda says. "Live crickets."

"Bon appétit," Annabelle says as she lifts an ant to her mouth. A cannon goes off.

"Wonder who it was," Anya says.

"Thirteen," Jayda says. "They seemed pretty weak." A cricket hops into the tent. It's much bigger than any cricket I've ever seen. Annabelle reaches for it, but I stop her. I have a bad feeling that this cricket isn't a normal cricket. It lets out a metallic trill. The sound echoes, but much, much louder. Suddenly, thousand, no, millions of crickets flood our tent. They hop all over us, letting out the creepy metallic trills constantly. Jayda screams. At first, I think it's because she's disgusted at all the crickets crawling on her, but when I look at her, I see that the crickets have gnawed a hole in her arm. That's when I feel it. The feeling of my skin burning. I scream and try to shake the crickets off, but they cling on to me. The others are doing the same. I run out into the rain, but my skin still feels like it's burning. I look down at my arm an scream. The crickets have eaten a hole down to my bone and they're not stopping.

"Roll on the ground!" I hear a distorted voice scream. It sounds vaguely familiar, so I obey it. The crickets crunch as I roll in the soaking ground. The burning doesn't stop, though. However, the metallic trills do begin to quiet, and the feeling of crickets crawling on me stops, too. I stop rolling long enough to see that all of the crickets are dead or dying. The dying ones continue to eat away a my flesh. Annabelle, or at least I think it is, is brushing dead crickets off of herself. There's a faint, familiar screaming somewhere far off. The screaming abruptly stops and a cannon fires. I somehow stumble back to the tent and fine Jayda's body, or skeleton rather, eaten by the crickets. They're no longer there, though. Moved on to their next victim, I guess. Suddenly, I fall down. My thoughts becomes foggy, my vision becomes blurry, and the burning feeling intensifies. Someone rushes to my side, but I can't tell who it is. The last thing I remember is hearing my name.

The next thing I remember is pain. Terrible, terrible pain. I look over at my arm, which has more bloody bandage than skin showing. Annabelle is knelt beside me. Her clothing is covered with wide holes, and her body is covered with bandages, too. I can't remember what caused all of these injuries. It's all a blur. Not a blank out, just blurry memories.

"What happened?" I ask. My voice is no more than a croak.

"Crickets," Annabelle says. It all clears up. Now I wish I didn't remember.

"Jayda..." I say.

"Dead," Annabelle says.

"How long was I out?" I ask.

"About a day and a half," Annabelle says.

"Any more deaths?"

"Boy from two, boy from three, girl from four, boy from six, girl from nine, and a girl from eleven. There's been one cannon so far today."

"Did you know the other girl from your district?" She nods her head.

"It stopped raining," she says. I look outside, and sure enough, there isn't a cloud in the sky.

"How's Anya?" I ask.

"I'm alive if that's what you're asking," she says.

"She got the least of the crickets. You got it the worst." She unwraps bandages from my arms, legs, and torso, revealing deep, swollen, bleeding holes. I cringe at the sight of them. Annabelle grimaces. She doesn't even have to say it for me to know it's deadly. She hands me a jug of water and an antibiotic pill. I swallow it, thankful for the medicine, however small the effect may be.

"I'm going to go find a rabbit or something," Anya says. She grunts and pulls herself to her feet. Annabelle sighs and leans back against a tree.

"I'm going to die," I say.

"No, don't say-"

"I'm not stupid, anyone can see these cuts are deadly," I say, cutting her off. She leans her head against her knees. A chiming sound makes both of us jump. Annabelle reaches out and grabs the silver parachute. She reads the note attached to it and then hands it to me.

_Apply generously_

_-K, P, A, & E_

I let out a sigh of relief. Annabelle quickly unscrews the large jar the parachute was attached to. She scoops out a glob of the pale green cream and wipe it in my arm. It burns for a minute, but gradually, it starts to fade. I take some and rub it on the holes on my torso and legs while Annabelle does my other arm. Once they're all done, I help Annabelle with hers. A little but later, Anya comes back holding three squirrels, a rabbit, and a handful of dandelion greens. We help her rub the cream in the places the crickets got her, cook the meat and greens, and have a sort of feast, if you can really call it that. Even though I eat a whole squirrel, a rabbit leg, and a good sized portion of greens, I'm still starving. I go to take a sip from my water jug and find that it's empty.

"Sorry. We got kind of thirsty," Annabelle says.

"It's okay," I say. A cannon fires. That makes four today. Thirteen left.

"Tomorrow, we have to go to the place you keep talking about," Anya says to me. I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up a finger to stop me. "I don't care. I'd rather risk the water than have to deal with dehydration again. We're going to the water tomorrow. Whether you like it or not."

The Capitol anthem plays. The faces that flash in the sky are the other girl from one, a girl from nine, and a boy from ten. I volunteer for first watch. Annabelle protests, but I insist on taking it. I've got to find a way to warn Chandler and Gina. I think that I might be able to run to the lake and back if I try. I wait until I'm sure Annabelle and Anya are asleep before I try to get up. It hurts to stand up, but I ignore the pain.

"What are you doing?" Anya asks. I whip around and see her glaring at me.

"Just... Out to walk around," I say as casually as I can muster.

"Liar," she hisses. "Where are you really going? I bet you were going to run away to your little boyfriend."

"No," I say too quickly.

"Then where were you going?"

"I told you, to walk around for a minute."

"Don't think I can't see right through you. I know you're hiding something. And you know what else? I bet there's a reason that you're trying to keep us away from the lake."

"I'm just trying to keep you guys from poisoning yourselves. And I'm not hiding anything."

"Okay, then, I can see that you aren't going to tell me what you're hiding, so I'll make you a deal. You don't tell me, you don't live to see tomorrow." I gulp. I have no choice but to tell her. It's not like it will change the outcome of this.

"Fine. I think the other two from my district are at the lake."

"And you're worried that I'd kill them?" I nod slowly. "Lily, I may not be the nicest person in the world, but one thing I'd never do, is kill my ally's district partners."

"I don't trust you."

"You can trust me. I wouldn't hurt an ally like that." I don't know if I should believe her or not. She sounds honest enough, but she doesn't seem like the most trustworthy person. Trust Anya, don't trust Anya. I don't know.

"There's something else you should know," I say apprehensively.

"Oh?" Anya says.

"I sort of lied about the lake. The water's fine to drink."

"What!" Anya shouts. "You mean you knew the water was fine and you nearly let us die of dehydration! I cannot believe you!" Annabelle is awake now.

"What's going on?" she asks groggily. Anya and I both launch into our side of the story. "Shut up!" Annabelle shouts. "One at a time! Anya, you start."

"Well, Miss liar over here knew that the lake water was fine to drink, but she lied to protect her boyfriend! She almost let us die!"

"Lily, is that true?" Annabelle asks in disbelief. I nod. "Why?"

"I... I just wanted to protect my friends," I whisper.

"I can't say that I blame you, but I can't say I'm not mad either," Annabelle says.

"How can you not blame her? How?" Anya shouts.

"Because they're her friends, Anya. If your friends were in the arena, you'd understand," Annabelle says softly.

"How would you know? None of your friends are in the arena," Anya says to Annabelle. Annabelle seems to tense up a bit at this.

"My best friend was," she whispers.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Anya says.

"It's okay," Annabelle sighs. "Tomorrow, we'll go to the lake, get some water, and we will not kill Lily's friends. Are we clear?"

"I already said I wouldn't kill my ally's district partner," Anya says.

"Good. Now everyone go to sleep and I'll take over watch," Annabell says. Anya huffs and lays back down. I mouth "thank you," to Annabelle before I fall back into the most restful sleep I've gotten since entering the arena.


	46. Betrayed

We wake up early in the morning. It seems hotter today than it's been in the past few days. The gamemakers must be messing with the temperature. When Annabelle checks the places where the crickets got us, the swelling is gone and the bleeding has stopped. All that's left is a hole. We apply more of the cream to them before heading out to the lake. I'm not as nervous about going there now that Anya has promised not to kill Chandler or Gina if they're there.

Apparently, there were two deaths in the night. That means there are twelve of us left. I hope mom is happy. I've almost made it to the final ten, and Annabelle is still alive. Still, I can't help but wonder why it's so important for me to be in the final ten.

We're at least an hour from the cornucopia, and who know how far from the lake. I'm going to estimate we're about an hour and a half from the lake.

Plenty of time for two more of us to die. Plenty of time for Kingsman to send in an attack and kill me.

The heat quickly takes its toll on us. After walking for no more than fifteen minutes, we're all panting. I wish we could get just a little bit of water from a sponsor. Even one small bottle for us to share would be welcome. Or a pair of sunglasses to block out the blinding sun. Was it always this bright? Or is this just an effect of dehydration.

I'm not sure if it's just a mirage, but I think I see a silver parachute coming down over us. Annabelle and Anya turn their head upward, too. We all realize it's real at about the same time and jump onto the tiny water bottle at the same time. In the end, I'm the one that gets ahold of it. I look at the note attached.

_Share it_

_-K, P, A, & E_

I can't help but laugh. Our mentors know us too well. I take a sip from the bottle. It barely quenches my thirst, but I pass it to Anya anyway.

"We have to share," I say. She nods, and takes a sip. We pass it between the three of us until the tiny bottle has been drained. It's knock the edge off of my thirst, but I know it won't last long.

Sure enough, my throat is burning and my mouth is dry again within a half an hour. I'm not sure if all of us will make it to the lake. Maybe this is Kingsman's plan. To make me die of dehydration.

I hear Annabelle and Anya scream from behind me. I whip around with an arrow in place, but someone grabs me from behind. I'm too weak to put up much of a fight, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I kick my attacker in the shin, but he or she doesn't even flinch.

"Too easy," the boy holding Anya says. I look over at Anya, whose eyes are wide with terror. Her hands are shaking, but she's reaching for her belt. She gives me a small smile as she pulls a knife out. The person that has me sees her raise the knife and screams a warning, but they're too late. Anya jabs the knife in the boy's leg. He screams and lets her go. The boy that has Annabelle releases her long enough for her to grab her trident and stab him in the neck. A cannon fires, confirming his death. Anya throws a knife into the person that has me, but it barely sticks into their leg. The person lets go with one hand and grabs the knife.

"Thank's for the weapon," the person, definitely a boy, says.

"Let her go," Annabelle says. She raises her trident.

"Throw that thing at me and she dies," the boy says.

"You wouldn't..." Annabelle says in disbelief.

"I don't care if she's your ally, Belle," the boy says.

"Do not call me Belle," Annabelle says through gritted teeth. I've never seen such a fierce, determined look on her face.

"Fine. Belle," The boy says. The boy that Anya stabbed moans.

"Take care of that," Annabelle says, her eyes never leaving those of my attacker. I'm guessing that this boy is the other boy from four since they seem to know each other. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the boy take off running. "Don't follow him," Annabelle says. Anya returns to her side. Her grip on her knife tightens. She whispers something to Annabelle that I can't hear.

"No. He's mine," Annabelle mutters.

"Oh, so you think you can take me?" the boy says. Annabelle steps forward.

"I don't think I can, I know I can," she hisses. The boy shoves me to the side.

"I'd like to see you try," the boy says.

"Annabelle..." Anya warns.

"Shut up," Annabelle snaps. She poises her trident and sends it flying for him. He anticipates it and steps to the side. He laughs. Annabelle scowls.

"Oh? Not so confident without your weapon, are you, Belle?" the boy says.

"I said, don't call me Belle!" Annabelle shouts. She charges for the boy, but he knocks her to the ground and pins her arms down with his legs. He leans his face closer to hers.

"You think you're so tough," he hisses. "But you're just a twelve year old girl. A weak, little girl. And that's what you'll always be." He locks his hands around her neck. I can't watch him do this. I draw an arrow and fire it at him. He drops to the ground beside Annabelle. She gasps.

"Anya, give me a knife," she hisses. There is a hint of excitement in her voice. Anya hands her a long-bladed knife. Annabelle kneels over the dying boy the same way he was knelt over her. She holds the knife to his neck.

"Please, Belle," he croaks.

"Don't call me Belle," she spits. She slides the blade of the knife along his throat. The cannon fires. Annabelle stands up. Her entire body is shaking.

"He's gone," she says.

"How do you know him?" I ask.

"He was only the meanest, cruelest, most vicious person in all of district four. We were short on trainers, so they made him one and put him with the youngest girls. He was terrible. If we did something wrong, he'd hit us. He'd make us fight with each other until at least one person was knocking on death's door. The worst part was that he liked to pick on me because I was the smallest, and according to him, prettiest girl there. We had an uneven number so I'd always have to fight him, and he'd just pin me to the ground and beat me up. Thank goodness we never had to use weapons." She shivers. Tears fall down her cheek. "Then, one time, he... he... kissed me." I can't keep the shock off of my face. "We all agreed that if he went into the games, we'd visit the other tribute and tell them to make sure he dies." I do the first thing I think to do, which is hug poor, sobbing Annabelle. I cannot believe he had the nerve to kiss her and beat her up. Picking on an innocent twelve year old... That's terrible.

"Come on, let's get away from here," I say. Annabelle nods. She picks up her trident and we continue on our way to the lake. I'd estimate that we're about thirty minutes away from the lake. I'm not sure how it's possible, but I think it's gotten hotter.

I'm in the final ten. I hope mom's happy. But why is it so important? Nothing special has happened. No change in the games, no top secret rescue mission. It occurs to me that maybe mom just wanted me to stay alive as long as possible. Nothing special is going to happen. This was mom just trying to get me to live as long as possible.

"Is that it?" Anya asks. I look ahead of me, and sure enough the lake lies in front of us. We all give an excited whoop and jump into the water. I cup my hands and drink the water, not caring about how disgusting the water might be. After cooling off for a moment, we climb out and start filling the water jugs we brought with us. So far, we haven't seen Chandler or Gina. In a way, I'm relieved. I won't have to worry about Anya breaking her promise. In another way, I'm disappointed. I really wanted to see both of them.

"What was that?" Anya asks suddenly, dropping her bottle of water and grabbing her knife.

"What?" I ask. She whips around and throws the knife. I turn around, too.

Just in time to see Chandler fall to the ground.

"YOU TRAITOR!" I scream at Anya. I knock her to the ground. She killed Chandler. I can't believe I trusted her. I can't believe she betrayed me. In the distance, I hear my name being yelled, but I ignore it. I repeatedly punch Anya in the face. "I can't believe you!" I shout. Tears stream down my face "You killed him! You promised you wouldn't! You betrayed me!" She tries to throw me off of her, but she can't. I grab a knife from her belt and hold it to her neck. "You killed him," I say. "Now it's your turn to die,"

"LILY!" Annabelle screams. I don't respond. Anya stares at me, her eyes wide with fear. I start to slide the blade across her neck, but I'm stopped when a voice fills the arena.

"Everybody stop!" the voice yells. If it had been any other voice, I wouldn't have stopped, but the voice is one I know so well. A voice I thought I'd never hear again.

The voice is my mother's.


	47. Execution

**Sorry this chapter is so short!**

"Stop!" Mom shouts again. I slowly take my knife away from Anya's neck. What's going on? "Ladies and gentlemen, the games are over!" I stumble backwards in shock. Is this real? Are the games really over? A hovercraft materializes above my head and a ladder begins to come down. This is real. I'm getting out of here. I grab onto the ladder for dear life even though the electric current holds me in place. As soon as I'm lifted into the hovercraft, the electric current unfreezes me and I fall to the ground. Relief washes over me. I'm alive and I'm out of the arena. But then I remember:

Chandler is dead.

I start to sob. People dressed in white rush over to me but I shove them away. He's gone, but I'm still here. This isn't how it was supposed to end. We were both supposed to be dead.

A familiar childlike voice calls my name. I look up long enough to see Annabelle shoving past the horde of people surrounding me.

"Lily!" she shouts. The people in white coats grab her arms and pull her back, but not before I hear her shout, "Lily, he's alive!"

He's alive!

I look up and see Anya being lifted into the hovercraft. My first instinct is to charge for her, but hands grab me and pull me backward. I try to fight my way out of their grasp, but the next thing I know, I'm being lifted onto a cold, metal table. Someone jabs a needle in me and I'm knocked out.

When I open my eyes, I'm in a familiar white room. Not the one Kingsman held me in, but the one I went to after the games and after Kingsman let us go.

The door opens, and mom comes in. I try to jump up and run into her arms, but I'm held back by a web of needles.

"You probably have a lot of questions," mom says. I nod. She sits in a chair beside the bed that I'm in. "As soon as you and Chandler were released from Kingsman, me, dad, Annie, Beetee, Johanna, and Enobaria had planned to get you guys out of the arena. I'm not sure about the details of the plan, I was in charge of actually getting you guys out. All I know was that they planned to have Kingsman captured or dead by the final ten. That's why I wanted you to at least try to make it to the final ten, but I knew that Kingsman wanted you dead, so I didn't know if you could. Anyway, Kingsman has been taken into custody and his execution is scheduled for tomorrow morning."

"You mean, he's going to die?" I say, sort of in disbelief.

"Yes. They're going to show it live," she says. I'm so relieved that he's going to die that tears start rolling down my cheek.

"Why did you want me to keep Annabelle alive?" I ask.

"Annie and I have been friends for a while, and she was so distraught when she was reaped. It would've crushed her if she had died," she says.

"Chandler..." I say. I mean to ask if he's okay, but I don't know if I really want an answer.

"He's alive. The knife just barely missed his vital organs." I breath a sigh of relief. He's alive. I'm alive. Kingsman will be dead by this time tomorrow.

"When can I see him?" I ask.

"Soon. The doctors are still working on him and you're still not quite healed. Those crickets did some serious damage." I nod. "But Gina can come on here if you want."

"Yeah."

"I'll send her in." She walks out of the room. A few minutes later, a much thinner Gina come in. She sits in the chair next to my bed.

"I'm sorry about-"

"Don't say his name," she says, cutting me off. "I can't hear his name without crying."

"I understand. I was the same way after Orion died."

"I knew it was going to happen, I just... wasn't prepared."

"You can't prepare yourself for something like that. It will still hurt the same."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Like... what?"

"I don't know..."

"There isn't much to talk about other than the arena, and I don't know about you, but I I don't want to relive that quite yet." She nods in agreement. An Avox comes in with a bowl of broth and some bread. I wish they would bring more, but I'm not going to turn it down. I scarf the whole bowl of broth (which wasn't that big) and slice of bread down in two minutes. If that. Someone comes in and tells Gina she has to leave. As soon as she leaves, I start to feel drowsy. They must have drugged the food. I fall asleep seconds later.

I wake up to someone gently shaking my shoulder. I open my eyes, and I'm blinded for a moment by the bright lights. When my eyes adjust, I see not just mom and dad standing next to me, but other the tributes, some in beds like me, others kneeling in front of a television, and some other adults that I don't recognize.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Kingsman's execution," dad whispers. I turn my eyes to the television, where a large pack of peacekeepers are dragging Kingsman to chair. They strap him down and step away. Someone steps forward with a gun and aims it at Kingsman's heart. Kingsman looks straight into the camera. It feels like his black eyes are boring into me. An evil smile creeps across him lips. He closes his eyes. There's a loud pop, and his body goes limp. For a moment, there is complete silence, then the whole room starts to cheer. Even I can't help but smile. He's dead. The person who has ruined my life has now had his life ended. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest. I've never been happier to see someone die. Slowly, the other tributes leave the room. Eventually, only Annabelle, Anya, another tribute, I can't tell who, that's laying on a hospital bed like me, and four other adults.

"Lily, I want you to meet Beetee, Annie, Johanna, and Enobaria," mom says, pointing to the four adults.

"It's nice to meet you all," I say. Then I remember I killed Johanna's grandson. "I'm sorry that I killed Ash," I say to her.

"It's okay," she says. "You were protecting yourself." Something in her voice tells me that she's just saying that. I notice Anya is standing slightly behind her grandmother, Enobaria.

"Sorry I attacked you, Anya," I say.

"Sorry I lied," she says. I would tell her I forgive her, but I never will.

"We better be going," Annie says, almost like a warning. Are they worried that there will be some explosion between Anya and I? They have good reason if they are. The adults, Annabelle, and Anya leave the room. Now, there's only me, mom, dad, and some other person. Mom smiles at dad. They get behind my bed and start slowly rolling me towards the other person. I crane my neck to see who it is, but for some reason, I can't. When we stop, both of our beds are laying side by side. I look to the side, and I'm looking straight into the blue eyes of a very much alive Chandler.


	48. With Time

I let out a high pitched squeal. I reach over as far as I can and hug him. He flinches a bit.

"Ouch. Lily. Knife," he says. I immediately let him go.

"Sorry," I say.

"It's okay," he says with a wave of dismissal.

"We'll be back in an hour," mom says. "Someone will bring you some food soon." She and dad walk out of the room. For the first time, dad doesn't say anything or give us a funny look. Maybe he's finally starting to trust us.

"How bad did she get you?" I ask.

"Pretty bad. The doctors said I'll be fine though. What it the world happened to you?" he says, gently touching my arm. For the first time, I look down at my arm. There's still a pretty big hole from the crickets, but it's gotten smaller, and you can't see the bone anymore.

"Flesh eating crickets," I say. I shiver as the memory of the metallic trills and constant gnawing resurface.

"Yikes. He sent poisonous lizards after us," he says.

"He sent crazy mockingjays and carnivorous squirrels after us one day," I say.

"Mockingjays? That makes the target sort of obvious, doesn't it?" he says.

"I know, right. He send any other mutts after you guys?"

"Nope, just the lizards." He looks down. "That's how Bryce died."

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry," I say.

"Gina pretty much went into shock after that. She wouldn't eat or drink unless I forced her to. It's a wonder she made it." Neither of us says anything for a minute. An Avox comes in and gives us each a bowl of chicken soup and a glass of water. We thank him, and he leaves. The soup is warm and hardy. The small bowl that they give us fills me up. I almost can't finish it. After we finish, I lean my head on Chandler's shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me, careful to avoid the hole from the crickets. I close my eye and drift off.

Big mistake.

The crickets come for me. They surround me in every direction. My first thought is to climb a tree, but there are no trees around. They come closer and closer. Slowly. Their trills turn into words: Yum, flesh. You can't run. Dinner time. Over and over they taunt me. Eventually, I feel one crawling up my leg. I shriek as a burning sensation creeps up my leg. They slowly creep up my legs, my torso, my arms, my neck. All the way to my face. My entire body is on fire. I scream for help, but nothing but the ear-piercing scream of a child responds. The burning intensifies, if that is at all possible. I can't keep a scream contained. I scream and cry until the burning stops and the world turns black.

My eyes fly open and I shriek a little. "Lily," Chandler says. I relax slightly at the sound of his voice, but not much. My entire body shakes, and I swear I can still feel crickets crawling on my skin. "Shh, it's okay," Chandler whispers. He wraps his arms around me and rocks me back and forth gently, like a child. I start to cry, not because of the dream, though. Well, not exactly. I cry because of the thought of living like this for the rest of my life, having nightmares every time I fall asleep. Even worse is knowing that Chandler will have to endure the same thing. And Gina, too. Maybe it will get better with time. I hope it does. For the sake of everyone that made it out of the arena.

A little while later, mom and dad come in, accompanied by a few doctors. They wheel back to our rooms, where they stick about ten needles into my arms. They tell me to try to get some sleep.

"No. There is no way I'm going to sleep," I say.

"But you need your rest, Miss Lily," a short woman with bright purple hair says.

"I can't," I say. "I'll have nightmares."

"I'm sorry, but you really need to sleep," a man says.

"I'm not going to sleep!" I say, my voice sounding slightly harsher than necessary.

"Lily, I'm sorry," mom says. She turns to the doctors. "You have no clue how bad those nightmares are. Don't make her sleep if she doesn't want to."

"Miss Mellark, I do apologize, but the medicine to heal her injuries works best when she sleeps," a woman says to my mom. The man walks over. He grabs a needle and hooks it up to a bag.

"I'm sorry, Lily, but you've left us no choice," he says. He begins to lower the needle towards my arm.

"No! Please! Please don't-" It's no use. My eyelids are already drooping. I fight the medicine as long as possible, but it's not long before I'm pulled under.

My nightmares are a mix of crickets, mockingjays, squirrels, the bloodbath, whips, clubs, and watching Chandler die. Whatever they gave me to knock me out has done nothing but make the dreams worse and made it nearly impossible to wake up. Eventually, I do wake up to a group of worried faces, doctors mostly, staring down on me. At first, I panic, as none of the faces are familiar, but then I recognize my mom's soothing voice, reassuring me that I'm safe and that it was just a dream, and relax. The doctors promise me that I won't have to sleep against my will anymore. They walk out, leaving me with just my parents.

"Does it ever get better?" I ask.

"With time," dad says. "But it will never go away completely."

"I wish I could just forget," I say, my voice barely a whisper.

"We all do," mom says. "And we try, we really do. But the memories are always there."

"How do you cope with it so well?" I ask. Mom and dad are silent for a moment.

"I don't know," mom says eventually. "You just... do. A lot of us couldn't, though. That's why many of them turned to alcohol, like Haymitch, or morphling. It numbs the pain." The thought of not being able to handle the pain scares me. Will I end up like Haymitch? Always drunk. Or addicted to morphling? I shake the thought from my mind.

Mom leans down and gives me a small hug. "Just give it time," she says. "I promise it will get better." Dad looks up at the clock hanging on the wall.

"It's time to go to lunch," he says.

"Do I have to go in this thing? Or am I aloud to walk?" I ask.

"You can walk," mom says. She helps me hop out of the bed. That's when I realize that I'm still in a thin paper gown. Mom smiles and hands me a stack of clothes. "Put these on. We'll be in the second room on the right." She and dad leave the room. I put the clothes on quickly and walk down to the room. To my surprise, the other tributes and the other four mentors are there, too. I find a seat with Chandler, Gina, and a girl I don't recognize. She introduces herself as Shana Sharpe, from thirteen. She's very friendly. In fact all of the other tributes are, which surprises me considering we were all trying to kill each other a few days ago. Annabelle joins us a few minutes later. I've come to think of her as a little sister in a way. She seems so carefree despite the fact the she just came out of the arena. I wonder how she will deal with the after effects of the arena.

A lady, Enobaria I think, comes to the front of the room. She clears her throat, and all eyes go to her. "I know you are probably wondering when you will be able to go home," she says. Everyone nods. "To answer that question, you will be getting on a train to go home tomorrow morning." Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Except me. I want to go home, I really do. But there's one problem. Why I never thought of it before, I don't know.

An exact copy of the arena will be just steps away.


	49. Welcome Home

**Sorry I haven't updated sooner!**

Where can we go?" Gina asks.

"Not back to twelve, that's for sure," I say. Mom and dad both have phones and are calling around to the other districts to see if they have somewhere we can go.

"Nothing in seven," mom say exasperatedly.

"Nothing in eight either," dad says. I'm beginning to loose hope that we'll be able to find somewhere else to go. I put my head onmy hands.

"It will be okay," Chandler says. I close my eyes and try not to think about what it would be like if we had to go back to twelve. The meadow had always been a happy, inviting, safe place. Now, it's a place I will see in nightmares forever. I can't live with it so close by. It would be like living right beside the actual arena. We can't go back there. We can't.

Mom gives an exasperated sigh. "Nothing in nine," she says.

"Nothing in ten," dad says. So, we're down to eleven and thirteen. Not that I really care which district takes us, if either, but I kind of hope it's eleven, since district thirteen is underground. I would hate to live underground for the rest of my life. But any alternative to twelve would be good.

"Really?" I hear mom say. "You've got two extra houses in the victor's village?" My head snaps up. "Thank you so much." She puts the phone down. "Eleven's got two spare houses in the victor's village." We all let out a sigh of relief. "But," of course there's a but. "We still have to contact Gina's family and get them to agree to come to eleven, which means going back to twelve."

"And if they don't agree to come?" Gina asks.

"It's your choice," mom says gravely. Gina nods. I have to wonder what she'll do. Will she come to eleven, or stay in twelve? She's really attached to her family, but she seems just as worried about the meadow as I am. I hope for her sake she won't have to choose.

"Will we have to go with you? To twelve?" Chandler asks.

"You can wait on the train," dad says. "Unless you want to-"

"No!" Chandler, Gina, and I shout at the same time.

"Alright, then. We'll leave tomorrow with everyone else, go to twelve, get Gina's parents, and go back to eleven. Sound good?" We all nod. "Good. You all can go hang out with the others until dinner." We stand up and leave the small room.

"Where do we go?" I ask.

"Oh, you haven't been there yet. Follow me," Gina says. We go down a long hallway. Gina turns into a room where the other tributes are sitting on couches, playing games, and watching something on the television. "They brought a bunch of games and stuff from Capitol kids. They even found these things called movies," Gina says. She points at the television. "This one's called 'Finding Nemo.' It was made before the dark days."

"Wow, that's old," Chandler says.

"Yeah, I know. But it's still pretty good. You want to watch it?" Gina asks.

I shrug. "Might as well." Gina motions for us to sit down. There aren't any couches that are completely open, so I sit on one with the girl from eleven, Rae, and the girl from six, Eleni. The movie isn't bad. A fish gets taken away and his dad has to search the entire ocean to rescue him. Not bad, but kind of depressing if you ask me. After it's over, we're called to dinner. I'm still amazed at how friendly everyone is after we all tried to kill each other. Rae sits with Chandler, Gina, and I and tells us about eleven. From the way it sounds, eleven will be very nice once it's recovered from the damage Kingsman did. But it won't be anything like twelve. No forests, but lots of open fields and wildflowers. I think I'll get used to it. I hope I will anyway.

Someone tells us it's time to go to our rooms. Mom takes me to a small room with a bed, a dresser, a chair, and a window. She leaves to go to her room. I change into a pair of long pants and a t-shirt and lay down in the small bed, not bothering to turn out the light. For some reason, the dark suddenly seems threatening.

Kingsman visits me in my dreams tonight. It's like the image that seems to have been burned into my memory: him bound to a chair, staring at me through the television, his black eyes burning into me, only our positions are reversed. I'm the one tied to the chair with a gun pointing at me, but Kingsman is the one holding the gun. I close my eyes to block out his stare, but I can still see them when I close my eyes. I hear the sound of a gun firing, feel the bullet hit my chest, feel my heart stop beating. But Kingsman's eyes still stare back at me.

I wake up sweating, panting, and shaking, but not screaming. Still, that nightmare was just as frightening as any arena dream. I know I'm not going to fall back asleep, so I pull the chair over to the window and watch the sun creep its way into the sky. It's a beautiful image, the sun rising into the cloudless sky against the tall, pastel buildings of the Capitol. It's easier to enjoy this now, knowing that I can't count how many I have left on my fingers.

I hear a knock on my door, and then hear my mom's voice calling me to breakfast. I change into a pair of jeans and a white shirt and head down to the room we eat in. Chandler calls me over to where he's sitting with Gina, Annabelle, Rae and another boy I don't know. I sit down in an empty seat, and the boy introduces himself as Theo, from district three. Someone sets plates of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of us. We hardly have time to talk because as soon as we finish, we're rushed onto a train. They're really rushing to get us out of here.

On the train, they have a room set up like the one in... wherever we were. Someone puts in a movie called "Mary Poppins." It's even older than "Finding Nemo." I loose interest in the movie quickly and get Gina to teach me how to play a game called Scrabble. I'm really bad at it. Gina beats me every time. Eventually, I give up and go back to the movie.

A couple hours later, someone announces that we've arrived in district two. Anya stands up and leaves the room. I have to admit, I'm glad to see her go. Chandler looks more relaxed with her gone, too. The train begins to move again. Someone puts in a new movie. This one is called "Twilight." It's about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. I kind of get caught up in the movie. When it ends, an argument breaks out over whether or not to play the next movie. None of the guys want to watch it, but all of the girls do. In the end, majority rules and we watch the next movie.

District three is called, and Theo leaves. Next is district four. I'm really going to miss Annabelle. She's become almost a little sister to me. She seems kind of sad about leaving, too.

All too soon, district four is called. Annabelle flings her arms around me. "I'll miss you," she says.

"I'll miss you, too," I say.

"Will you visit us one day?" she asks.

I smile. "Of course," I say.

"Bye," she says.

"Bye," I say. She walks out of the room. I hope I can fulfill my promise of visiting her one day. It's hard to remember that we can travel between districts now. There's a lot of things we can do now that we couldn't under Kingsman.

Districts five, six, nine and ten leave. We end up watching all five Twilight movies. I have to say, I was hoping the girl, Bella, would choose the werewolf, Jacob. But it had a good ending anyway. Someone calls for district eleven. Rae stands up to leave.

"See you soon," she says. Then it's just Chandler, Gina, and me left in the room. We decide not to put in another movie since we've seen six already. Instead, we play a game called Monopoly. It's fun, but it takes a long time. We end up getting bored before we finish. After we put it up, we try a game called Life. It's a lot more fun than Monopoly. Plus, we actually finish it. I come in second to Chandler. We play it over and over and surprisingly, we don't get tired of it. Eventually, someone lets us know that we've arrived in twelve. Gina starts to look nervous.

"You okay?" I ask her. She shrugs.

"I'm fine, just worried that my family won't agree to come," she says.

"Do you know what you're going to do if they don't?" I ask softly.

"I don't know," she says. "I would want to stay, but I don't think I could." I nod. I put myself in her shoes for a moment. What would I do if my family refused to come to another district with me? I don't know. I'm glad I don't have to make that choice.

About thirty minutes later, mom comes in and tells Gina to follow her. From the moment she came in the room, I could tell what happened. Gina's family isn't coming. I wonder what Gina will do.

A few minutes later, a teary-eyed Gina comes in. "What did you decide?" I ask gravely.

"I didn't decide anything," she says. I give her a confused look. "My parents aren't giving me a choice. I have to stay."

"Oh, no," I say. I stand up and give her a hug. She starts to cry.

"I can't stay here," she chokes out.

"I'm so sorry," I say. She wipes her eyes.

"I have to leave," she says. "Goodbye."

"Bye," I say. I feel tears coming to my eyes. This is probably the last time we'll ever see each other. "I'll miss you." Now the tears start to fall down my face. Gina turns and walks out of the room. She stops and the door and turns around. I give her one last sad smile before she walks out.

I sit back down on the couch, more tears starting to stream down my face. Chandler slides an arm around me, and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"I can't believe that's the last time we'll se her," I say.

"We'll visit," he says.

"Maybe one day. After a long time," I say. The train lurches forward. I look out of the window as my home disappears in a blur of green forest.

Mom and dad come in the room. They sit down on one of the other couches. For a moment we're silent, then mom says, "They couldn't bear the thought of sending her to another district. Even if it would've been better for her."

"And they couldn't just come with her?" I ask, my voice sounding harsher than I mean for it to.

"This is their home, Lily. They can't just leave it," mom says.

"Then why bother asking?" I ask.

"We thought we'd just try," she says. No one says anything for a moment.

"I know you'll miss her," dad says. I nod. I understand that her family couldn't just pack up and leave, but Gina is going to be miserable here. Maybe they'll figure that out and change their mind. I can only hope.

A little while later, the train comes to a stop. We stand up and follow mom and dad to a door. The door slides open and we step onto a platform. I look out at surroundings. A field of crops, fruit trees, a few shacks clumped together.

"Welcome home," dad says.


	50. Unexpected Guest

A woman greets us, and takes us to a car that will take us to our new home. It's the same one we rode in on the victory tour. Thinking of the victory tour brings back a lot of terrible memories. Kingsman drugging us, being tortured, Chandler's screams... I give my head a small shake to get rid of the thoughts.

There are no windows in the car, making it seem much smaller than it is. I close my eyes and try to picture an open field. No walls, no people pressed against me. But thinking of open fields make me think of the meadow, and thinking of the meadow reminds me of the arena. Suddenly, the small, windowless car isn't so bad.

We finally come to a stop. Someone opens the doors for us. I step out of the car and take a deep breath of the clean, crisp air. The house before us is nearly identical to our old home. Around it is a vast field of yellowed grass with tall, bare trees spotting it here and there. Not very pretty now, but when spring brings it back to life, it will surely be beautiful.

"This will be your new home," the woman says, pointing at the house. "Your belongings will arrive tomorrow. My name is Serena. I live three houses down. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to stop by." She walks down the path to her house. Dad takes out a key that he was given and unlocks the door of our new home. On the inside, everything is identical to our old home. The only remains of the person that lived here before us are small personal touches like paint or wallpaper.

"Do you think Seeder lived here?" mom asks, her voice so quiet I can barely hear it.

"There's no way to find out," dad says. I know I've heard the name Seeder before, but I can't figure out where. As if anticipating my question, dad says, "Seeder died in the quell." Now I remember where I heard the name. Mom and dad used to show me a book with pictures of the tributes and family members drawn in it. They wrote down any information about the person they could remember. Like how mom covered Rue with flowers and sung to her as she died, or how an old lady gave up her life for dad. Not everything was good, though, like how a boy cut dad's leg and caused him to have blood poisoning. I used to look at the book when they weren't looking sometimes. The stories horrified me, of course, but I always enjoyed reading them. I hope the book will be sent to us, so I can add my own entries to it. Then if I ever have kids... No. I don't think I could ever have kids. Even with Kingsman gone. Mom and dad thought the games were over, but then Kingsman came along. I could never forgive myself if my child was put in the games. I can't even bear the thought of it.

I go upstairs to the room that is in the same place my old one was. The walls are painted a soft green that makes me think of how I picture the fields looking when spring comes around. The blanket on the bed is white with swirls of the same soft green embroidered into it. I wonder who slept in this room before we moved in.

I hear a small gasp behind me. I whip around and take a step back in shock. A girl, probably about six years old, stands in the doorway. Her face is so familiar, so full of fear, it sends me into a flashback.

I've just barely made it into the wood. The screams of dying children fill the air. I turn around long enough to see the bloodbath, Bronwyn beating someone with a club, Calden breaking someone's neck with his bare hands, a Capitol boy waving a sword around and hitting someone in the leg. I turn back arou d and see the same face I saw just moments ago. Little Elaina. Her eyes grow wide with fear. I blink, and I'm back in the bedroom at my new house, Elaina still staring at me. But wait, this isn't Elaina. It can't be. A memory from the victory tour resurfaces. A small girl standing alone on a platform. Elaina's sister.

"What are you doing here?" the girl asks, her voice quivering.

"I-I live here now. We moved here from twelve after the games," I say. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't have a home, so I sleep here. No one knows. They'd kill me if they found out," she says.

"I promise, no one is going to hurt you. Will you tell me your name?" I ask.

"Ava," she says quietly.

"My name's Lily," I say.

"Oh, I know you. You won the Hunger Games. My sister was..." she trails off

"I know," I say quietly. "How about you come meet my parents." She shakes her head vigorously.

"No!" she says. "No one can know I stay here."

I get down on my knees so I'm on her level. "It's okay. I'm sure they'll let you stay," I say, looking straight into her honey-brown eyes. Some of the fear leaves her eyes.

"You really think so?" she asks.

"I'm positive. If they don't I'll let you stay," I say. I stand up and take her hand. We walk down the stairs and into the kitchen, where mom and dad are discussing something. They fall silent when we enter the room.

"Hi mom, hi dad," I say as if nothing out of the ordinary is going on. Their eyes are glued to Ava. "This is Ava. She lives here, too." Their eyes shoot to me, confused.

"What?" dad says. A flicker of disappointment goes across Ava's face.

"Ava go upstairs for a few minutes," I say to Ava She nods and runs up the stairs. We're silent until we hear the sound of a door shutting.

Before mom or dad can say anything, I say, "She's Elaina's sister. She has no family, and she secretly lives here."

"I remember her from the victory tour. The little girl standing by herself," dad says.

"What are we going to do? We can't make her leave," I say, a pleading tone creeping into my voice.

"She's right, we can't make her leave," dad says.

"Well, we have more than enough money, and I know there's an extra bedroom. I see know reason we can't let her stay," mom says. I jump up and hug both of them before running to get Ava. When I tell her that she can stay, she cries tears of joy. I already love her like a sister.

Chandler comes downstairs with a confused look on his face. His eyes go immediately to Ava.

"Chandler, this is Ava. She's going to be staying with us," I say. I lean closer to him and whisper, "Elaina's sister." He nods, and a smile replaces his look of confusion.

"Hi, Ava," he says. "My name's Chandler." Ava smiles and waves her hand.

"Why don't we get something to eat?" mom says. She opens up the refrigerator, which is already full of food. I guess it was stocked before we came. Ava's eyes widen at the sight of all the food.

"You have all that?" she asks, bewildered. It occurs to me that she probably hasn't seen this much food in one place in her whole life. Mom smiles, and takes out some beef, carrots, onions, potatoes, green beans, tomatoes, and peas. While she and dad work at chopping up the vegetables to make a soup, Chandler and I take Ava into the living room. For some reason, we turn on the television, something we hardly ever do. Ava teaches us a game the kids in eleven play called "Hanky Panky." It's a fun little clapping game with a cute song that goes with us. It gets boring to me after a round or two, and I'm sure it shows. Chandler, however, seems to be genuinely enjoying the game. I wonder if really is enjoying it or if he's just really good at hiding boredom.

After a little while, Ava grows tired of the game (thank goodness) and we sit on the couch watching the news casts being shown. I'm sort of dozing off when I hear a small shriek. I look over and see Ava staring at the television, her eyes wide with horror.

"Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!" Ava shriek, covering her eyes with her hands. I look at the television. They're showing clips from my first games. I look closely to try to figure out why Ava freaked out. The clip being shown is the one of her sister's death. I grab the remote and turn it off quickly. Ava starts to cry. I panic. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to console her.

But Chandler does. He puts his arms around her protectively, and she buries her face in his chest. He rocks her back and forth, gently rubbing her back and whispering to her that it's okay. Her crying starts to ease up until it turns into just the occasional sniffle. I mouth the words "Thank you," to Chandler. He's so good with children. I can't help but think that he would be a great father. My mind begins to wander. What if Chandler and I got married one day and he wanted children? What would I say? I couldn't say no, but I couldn't say yes, either. I can't have a child only to have it taken from me, but would I still do it if Chandler really wanted it? I look over at Chandler, who is talking to Ava, smiling, laughing. I've never seen him so happy. Maybe I could have children if he really wanted them. But what if...

"Time for dinner!" mom calls, snapping me back to reality. We walk into the dining room, where there are bowls of soup waiting for us. Mom, dad, and Chandler get to know Ava, but I stay silent. All I can think about is how happy Chandler looks with Ava, and how if we ever did get married, I could never have children. No matter how badly he wanted them.

After we help mom clean up, Chandler and I go to put Ava to bed. She takes her few possessions, a ratty old teddy bear, a dirty, purple blanket, and a necklace made of woven grass with a wooden star hanging on it, and we move to the bedroom in between mom and dad's and mine. This room is painted light pink and the blankets on the bed are white. Ava hops into the bed, and we tuck her in. Just before we leave, she asks for us to sing to her. I walk back to the bed and sit in the chair beside her bed. The first song that comes to mind is the song mom used to sing to me to put me to sleep.

Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away

A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray

Forget your woes and let your troubles lay

And when it's morning, they'll wash away

Here it's safe, here it's warm

Here the daises guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you

Ava has fallen asleep. I stand up quietly and walk out to the doorway, where Chandler is standing. We quietly shut the door. I expect him to turn to go down the stairs, but instead, he turns the other way. He motions for me to follow him. He stops at the end of the hall.

"Is everything okay, Lily?" he asks.

"Yes," I say, a little to quickly. "Why do you ask?"

"You've been acting a little strange," he says.

I pause for a moment, which I know gives me away. "It's nothing," I say.

"You can tell me," he says softly.

"I was just thinking about how I don't think I could ever have kids." I decide to leave out most of it because I can't find the right words.

"The games won't come back," he says.

"That's what my parents thought," I say.

"I don't think it will happen again," he says.

"That's just it. We don't know. There are always going to be people out there that want the games, and who knows? Maybe one of them

will take over and then our children might get out in the games." Chandler gives me a slightly surprised look. It takes me a second to realize why. Our children. Big oops.

"There's something else, isn't there," he says. I nod.

"It's just... I was thinking about what would happen if we got married and you wanted children, and I don't know if I could, and that you'd be such a good father, and you deserve to marry someone who want's kids, and-"

"Slow down, Lily," he says, cutting me off. "If we get married, and you don't want to have kids, it'd be okay."

"You wouldn't be upset?" I ask.

"No, of course not. I worry about what would happen if our children were put in the games, too. But I also don't believe they'll ever happen again."

"I wish I could believe that, but I just can't."

"Just give it time." He pulls me into a hug. "You'd be a great mother, you know."

We go into our rooms. We don't have any clothes to change into, so I crawl into bed in the same clothes I've been wearing all day. To my surprise, I fall asleep rather quickly.


	51. Memories

**After this chapter, I will be skipping ahead a few year. There will only be a few more chapters, though :'(**

**Also, please vote in my poll on my profile! It will determine who my next story will be about! **

I wake up to the wonderful smell of bacon being cooked. Even though I'm hungry, I roll over and try to get at least a few more minutes of sleep. I didn't get much after nightmares about Browyn and Calden brutally murdering Elaina. After only a minute or two, I give in to my hunger and make my way downstairs. Ava is sitting at the table with a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of her. I grab a plate, fill it with eggs, bacon, and toast, and take a seat beside Ava. She eagerly gobbles down all of the food on her plate. I eat mine slower than usual for some reason, and I even let Ava have a strip of my bacon and a piece of my toast. Guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought. A few minutes later, a very groggy Chandler comes into the dining room. He fills his plate quietly and site down beside me.

"How in the world do you do that every night?" he asks.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Nightmares," he says.

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry," I say.

"You should've woken me up."

He shakes his head. "I didn't want to bother you."

"It wouldn't bother me," I say. He just shakes his head and focuses on his eggs. Mom and dad sit down with a their plates. "What are we going to do today?" I ask them.

"Work on getting our stuff put up once it gets here," dad says. I completely forgot that our things were coming today. After everyone is done, I wash the dishes while Ava dries them. Mom told her she didn't have to, but she insisted on being helpful. She claims she has to "earn her keep." I guess that means that she has to work to be able to stay with us or something. Must be a District Eleven thing. Once we're done, we join mom, dad, and Chandler in the living room. They're watching some kind of show on the television. Dad says it's one that existed before the first rebellion. I don't really pay much attention to it. It's kind of boring.

About an hour later, there's a knock on the door. I hop up and answer it. A man is standing at our door with a few stacks of boxes behind him. "Hi, is this the Mellark's house?" the man asks.

"Yes sir," I say.

"Your things are in these boxes. We have people that can help you move it if you want," he says.

"Thanks, but I think we can handle it," I say.

"Alright, then. Have a nice day." He walks back to his truck. Mom, dad, Chandler and Ava come out and help move the boxes inside. Three of the boxes are marked with the letters LM. I assume that stands for Lily Mellark. I take the boxes upstairs to my room and begin unpacking my clothes. There's a note in one of the boxes. It says that Cinna made some new clothes for me. I hang the beautiful new pieces of clothing up in the closet alongside my old things. The colors are much brighter than my other things. Almost as bright as some of the Capitol clothing, but not quite.

After I'm finished putting my things up, I go back downstairs to help with everything else. Deena sent some clothes for Chandler, which is good, because he doesn't have anything else. I start going through the unmarked boxes that contain just a few little things from our old house like pictures and stuff. Finally, I come across the thing I've been looking for. Our old book. I feel like it's going to crumble if I pick it up. The paper is old and yellowed. The whole thing just looks so fragile. Still, I pick it up and begin to flip through the pages. Many of the first pages contain information about plants, detailed descriptions and delicate pictures that only my father could've painted. About a quarter of the way into the book is where the tributes start. The first one is a girl with blonde hair and striking green eyes from one, Glimmer. There isn't much written about her except that she died from tracker jacker stings. I shudder remembering the hallucinations from my first time in the arena. I look at each picture and read each description. The boy from one, Marvel, who trapped and killed Rue, the girl from two, Clove, who was about to give mom a slow, painful death, but was killed by a rock instead, the boy from two, Cato, who cut dad's leg with a sword and died when mom shot him after he was nearly eaten alive by wolf mutts, the girl from eleven, Rue, who was my mom's ally, who reminded her so much of aunt Prim, who she covered with flowers after she died, the boy from eleven, Thresh, who saved mom's life because of what she did for Rue. Then it switches to the second games. Cashmere and Gloss from one, Brutus from two, Wiress from three, Finnick and Mags from four, two people just called "The Morphlings" from six, Cecilia and Woof from eight, and Seeder and Chaff from eleven. After that, there are a few other people like a man named Boggs, a woman named President Alma Coin, President Snow, aunt Prim, dad's parents, dad's brothers, mom's parents, a lot of tributes that I'm guessing Haymitch mentored, a girl named Madge, a girl named Maysilee, and quite a few others. The next page I turn to after Maysilee is blank. Dad comes and sits beside me as I stare at a blank page.

"Would you like to add some things to it?" he asks. I nod. He stands up and walks out of room for a moment. When he comes back, he has a notebook a pencil, a huge box of colored pencils, and an ink pen."Where do you want to start?" he asks.

"Carmen Hawthorn," I say. I briefly describe what she looked like. Long, straight, dark brown hair, gray eyes, lots of freckles. Dad draws a rough sketch, I point out a couple of things, and he draws it again. We repeat the process over and over until the picture is perfect. Then, dad takes his colored pencils and carefully draws the picture on the blank paper. It looks like almost like a photograph instead of a drawing. He gently sets the book in my lap and hands me a black ink pen. It takes me a while to decide what to write about her, but this is what I come up with:

_Carmen was my ally for the first part of the 76th Hunger Games. Her father was Gale Hawthorn, my mother's best friend. She was a good person and, even though I only knew her for about a week, a great friend. She saved my life in the bloodbath when a boy was about to kill me. She died when a boy threw an ax in her back. I will always owe her for saving my life._

I know I could've written more, but that is the best I can do. Dad assures me that it's perfect, but I still feel guilty for not writing more. We repeat the process with Calden and Bronwyn. At some point, mom, Chandler, and Ava join us. After we finish Bronwyn, we move onto Elaina. Ava helps dad a lot with her appearance and helps me with writing about her. Ava starts to get a bit upset talking about her sister, so Chandler lets her sit on his lap, reminding me of our conversation last night. I shove it to the back of my mind and focus on writing my words about Elaina. Next up is Orion. It only takes dad one try to draw him perfectly. I have to think a long time about what to write. I want to write something special. It has to be perfect.

_Orion was my little brother. He was two years younger than me. When we were young, we would run in the meadow, swim in the lake. We were always happy. Both of us were put in the 76th Hunger Games. It was terrible knowing that only one of us would make it out of the arena alive. I was determined to ensure that it was him. Unfortunately, Bronwyn Derber hit him with a spear when I was asleep. Like my mom did for her ally, Rue, in the 74th Hunger Games, I sung to him as he died and covered him with flowers before he was taken from the arena. He was a wonderful person and never should've died._

"Is that good?" I ask.

"It's perfect," mom says. Dad closes the book. He says we'll do more tomorrow.

After we eat lunch, Ava begs us to go outside. Chandler and I eventually give in and change into some warmer clothes. I put one of my jackets around Ava. It's huge, but at least it will keep her warm. Ava takes us to her favorite place, which is just a large rock overlooking a frozen stream. I can see that, like the rest of eleven, will be much prettier in the spring and summer. She teaches us a game called hide and seek that she used to play with Elaina. Two of us hide while the other person counts to ten. Then the other person has to find us. There aren't many places to hide in a field of shriveled grass near a frozen river, so the game is kind of pointless. But, it makes Ava happy. After about an hour of hide and seek and other little games, we head back inside.

There isn't a whole lot to do, so I go back up to my room and lay on my bed. While I'm laying there, I glance over into one of the empty boxes. In it, I see a small piece of paper. I pick it up, and realize that it is the note Orion wrote me before the reaping. I read it over and over, thankful that I have this one little piece of him with me again. After I've memorized the whole thing, I smooth it out and set it on my dresser. For now, that's the best place I can think to put it.

For the next few days, dad helps me add people to the book. We add Octavia's a granddaughter, Jayda, Royce, Brant, Vasi, Bryce, Haymitch, and even Kingsman. It was kind of fun to write Kingsman's in a sort of sick way.

_Kingsman was a terrible, terrible person. He took over Panem and started the Hunger Games again. He wanted Orion and I to die. When I didn't die, he decided to make my life miserable. He tortured Chandler and I because I refused to give a speech that he wrote for me, he put Chandler, my best friend, Gina, and her little brother, Bryce in the arena, he tortured Chandler's father. In short, Kingsman was a sick-minded man and his death was a blessing._

After we do Kingsman, Chandler asks if he can put in his little sister, Jenna. Dad agrees, of course. It takes about an hour for him to get the rough sketch right, and about fifteen minutes for him to find the right colors to use. Jenna had blonde and bright blue eyes. She was only eight when she died. The little paragraph Chandler writes about her is really sweet and really sad the same time.

_Jenna was my little sister. She was the sweetest, most kind-hearted person you'd ever meet. Her smile would light up a room, she could cheer anyone up if they were sad, everyone loved her. Unfortunately, she was killed by wild dogs while we were running away. She was eight years old, far to young to die. I still think about her every day, and I still wonder if there's anything I could've done to save her._

Jenna is the last person we add to the book. For now anyway. Hopefully we don't have to add anyone else for a long time. I show Chandler the other people in the book. It's so sad that all these people were killed. None of them deserved to die, no matter how ruthless they were. In the end, we were all the same. Just kids fighting to survive.


	52. Lilies and Pearls

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**This is not the last chapter**

**This chapter is going to skip ahead 5 years. Chandler and Lily will be 21**

Proposal

Chandler and I are having a picnic by the river. We do this almost every day now that it's warmer. District Eleven is beautiful in the spring. Wildflowers bloom everywhere, the trees have beautiful blossoms covering them, the birds chirp happily. Everything seems alive. Even the people seem different. I guess up the warmth tends to make everyone happier.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" Chandler asks.

"Okay," I say. This is different. We stand up. I start to pick up our picnic basket, but Chandler tells me to leave it. No one is going to take it.

We walk along the length of the river, hand in hand. It's a beautiful place and all, but I'm kind of wondering why he wants to take a walk. He seems kind of distracted. Weird.

After about ten minutes, he tells me to close my eyes. I do, reluctantly. He puts his hands on my shoulders and guides me forward. Then, he tells me to stand still, but keep my eyes closed. His hands lift from my shoulders. There's a second of complete silence, and then he tells me I can open my eyes. When I do, I'm shocked. We're in the middle of a grassy meadow, the river running right beside us, wildflowers covering the ground. For a moment, all I can do is marvel at the beauty of this place. It's beautiful. I feel Chandler slip his hand into mine, and I look to where he should be standing, but he isn't there. My eyes go downward and I see him on one knee, an open black box with a diamond ring inside of it in his other hand. A smile spreads across his face.

"Lily Mellark," he says. "Will you marry me?" I'm so stunned that I can't speak. All I can do is smile and stare into his deep blue eyes. After a moment, I find my voice again.

"Yes." He slides the ring onto my finger, stands up and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck, savoring this moment that I was never supposed to have. It's hard to believe that just five years ago we were both supposed to die. Now, we're twenty-one and we're engaged. And very much alive (which is always a plus).

We take our time walking back. I feel like I'm walking on air. I've never been so happy in my entire life. I must look like an idiot with the huge smile on my face, but I don't care.

"Do you want to tell your parents?" Chandler asks.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" I ask.

"I don't know, I just figured I'd ask," he says, then adds quietly, "You know the rest of the Panem will have to find out eventually."

"Let them find out on their own time," I say. "I do want to tell Cinna, though."

"I'd like to tell Deena, too," he says.

"Good idea. We'll call them when we get back."

Telling the family

"Mom, dad," I start. I'm kind of nervous to see how they'll react. "We have something to tell you. Chandler and I are engaged!" Dad smiles and mom reaches out and bigs both of us.

"Congratulations!" mom says. "I'm so happy for you two!" Dad hugs both of us.

"I'm proud of you two," dad says. He looks at me and says, "You made a good choice."

"I think there's someone else you should tell," mom says. Of course! Ava! She'll be so excited. I run upstairs and knock on her door, keeping the hand with the ring hidden. She opens the door.

"Lily!" she exclaims. I give her a big hug. She's eleven now. She's grown up a lot. To me, she'll always be the little girl standing in the doorway five years ago. She's part of our family now. I even call her my little sister.

"Come downstairs, we have something to tell you," I say.

"We?" she asks, giving me a confused look.

"Just come with me," I say. We go into the living room with my parents and my fiancée. Fiancée. It sounds so strange to use that word for Chandler. I like it.

Ava sits down in between Chandler and I. "Who needs to tell me what?" she asks. I can't help but laugh.

"Chandler and I wanted to tell you that we're engaged!" I say. She squeals and just about knocks me off the couch with a hug.

"Oh my gosh, that's so awesome!" she exclaims. "Can I be in the wedding? Please, please, please!"

"Of course you can!" I say. I turn to Chandler and say, "I think she'd be a wonderful flower girl."

"I think so, too," Chandler says.

"Yayyyy!" Ava says. "Thank you sooooo much!" Chandler gives Ava a big hug and ruffles her hair with his hand.

"I guess we better call Cinna and Deena now," Chandler says. We walk over to the phone. Ava follows us. I dial Cinna's number. The phone rings a few times before Cinna picks it up.

"Hello," Cinna says.

"Hi, Cinna! It's Lily," I say.

"Lily! It's so good to hear from you!"

"I'm glad to get to talk to you, too. Hold on one second, I'm going to put you on speaker phone." I press the speaker phone button. "Chandler and I have some exciting news!"

"What is it?" he asks.

"Chandler," I say.

"Lily and I are engaged!" Chandler says.

"Congratulations! That's wonderful!" Cinna says.

"Will you mak my dress?" I ask.

"Of course," Cinna says.

"Thank you so much!" I say.

"I guess I will see you soon, then," Cinna says.

"I can't wait!" I say. "Talk to you later!"

"Goodbye," Cinna says.

"Bye!" Chandler, Ava, and I say.

Next, we call Deena.

"Hello!" Deena says.

"Hi, Deena, this is Chandler," Chandler says.

"Oh, Chandler! I've missed you so much!" Deena says.

"I've missed you, too. Lily and I have some exciting news," Chandler says.

"Oh?"

"Lily and I are getting married."

"Congratulations! That's wonderful! Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you."

"Well, I'd talk more, but I'm a bit busy. I'll call again soon, though!"

"Okay. Bye Deena."

"Bye!"

We go back into the room with mom and dad. It occurs to me that there are two people we haven't told yet that we really need to tell.

"We need to tell Annabelle and Gina," I say. Luckily, Gina's family got a phone a few months ago, so we can talk to her now.

"I guess we better go call them," Chandler says. I dial Gina's number and put the phone on speaker phone.

"Hello!" Gina says.

"Hey, Gina! It's Lily," I say.

"Oh, hi! How are things in eleven?"

"Good. How's twelve."

"As good as they'll ever get."

"Well, Chandler and I have something to tell you!"

"What?"

"We're getting married!"

"Oh, that's so exciting! Congratulations to both of you! When is the wedding going to be?"

"We just got engaged today!"

"I guess you haven't set a date, then!"

"Nope! But will you be one of my bridesmaids?"

"Yes! Of course! Thank you so much!"

"No, thank you. I guess we'll be seeing you soon, then!"

"I can't wait. Call me as soon as you choose a date!"

"I will. Bye!"

"Bye!"

Next, and last for right now, we call Annabelle. She's going to be so excited. We've visited her twice over the past five years, and she calls at least once a month. She's still like a little sister to me. I definitely want her to be a bridesmaid, too.

"Hello," A voice that is not Annabelle's says.

"Hi, it's Lily. May I speak to Annabelle please?" I ask.

"Sure, hang on just a minute."

"Hey!" Annabelle says a minute or two later.

"Hey! How's it going?" I ask.

"Good. How are you guys?"

"Good. Chandler and I have something to tell you," I say.

"Okay," she says.

"We're getting married!" I almost deafened by a high-pitched squeal.

"Oh my gosh, that's exciting! When did you get engaged?"

"Today."

"That's wonderful!"

"Would you be one of my bridesmaids?"

"Yes, yes! Of course! Hang on one second." The next thing I hear is more muffled, "Fynn, shut up!" It goes back to normal. "Sorry about that. My brother's being annoying."

"Oh, I can relate," I say, looking at Ava.

"Hey! I'm not annoying!" Ava says.

"Not all the time," I say. She 'humphs.' Annabelle laughs,

"I can't wait to see you!"

"I can't wait to see you, too! I've got to run. Talk to you soon!"

"Kay. Bye!"

"Bye." I hang up the phone, grateful to have avoided an hour-long conversation. We go back into the living room, finally. If there's anyone else we need to tell, we'll tell them later.

Trying Dresses

"Oh, Lily! This is so exciting!" Octavia exclaims.

"I just can't believe you're getting married!" Flavius says.

"You've grown up so much," Venia says. She zips the dress up and helps me turn to face a giant mirror. I told Cinna what I had in mind for my dress and he made six different dresses based on it. I'm not even sure if I want to try the rest on. This one is absolutely perfect. It's a strapless, ball gown style dress with pearls creating intricate patterns on the entire thing. I walk out of the dressing room, which is actually just a spare room, and into the living room where mom, dad, Ava, Annabelle, Annie, Cinna, Gina, and Rae, the only tribute from eleven to survive the 77th Hunger Games, who we've gotten to know very well, are waiting.

"What do you think?" I ask, spinning around so they can see the whole thing.

"It's beautiful," mom says.

"I love the pearls," Gina says. Pearls were my main, and really only, request for the dress.

"Dad?" I ask.

"It's very pretty," he says. I can tell he's not going to enjoy this. My prep team forces me to come back to the dressing room so I can try on the next dress. I really don't want to take this one off, though. I'm almost sure it's the one I'll pick.

The next dress is a dress that Flavius calls a mermaid style. It's fitted until a bit bellow my knees and then it fans out it's pretty, but I don't like it nearly as much as the first. My "entourage" as Octavia puts it doesn't like it as much, either.

The next three dresses are pretty, but dress one is still my favorite. We finally get to the final dress. It's more similar to the first one, but the bottom isn't as poofy. There aren't any pearls on the bottom, but the top has the same design as the first. I love it. Even more than the first.

"That's so pretty!" Ava says.

"It's beautiful," dad says.

"Do you like it?" Cinna asks.

"Yes," I say. I didn't even realize I was crying.

"Which one is your favorite?" Cinna asks.

"This one," I say. Venia comes up behind me and pins something in my hair. She hands me a mirror. There's a long veil with pearls stitched into it draped down my back. At the top is a gorgeous white lily. Lilies and pearls. That's the theme of my wedding. Venia also fastens a pearl necklace around my neck. Now I'm really crying. Ava comes up and hugs me.

"Is this the one?" Annabelle asks. I nod, wiping tears from my eyes. Dad gives a sigh of relief. I know he's got to be glad this is over.

My prep team helps me out of my dress and let me change back into my normal clothes. Then, they take me back to the living room, where only mom, dad and Annie are sitting.

"Where's everyone else?" I ask.

"Right here," A voice says. Cinna comes from around the corner, followed by Annabelle, Gina, Rae, and Ava. Annabelle, Gina, and Rae have on short, tight-fitting sunset-orange dresses and an orange lily in their hair, and Ava has on a white dress a clip with pearls on it in her hair.

"They look beautiful," I say. Cinna takes them back to wherever they were. They come back a few minutes later in their normal clothes.

"We have to leave now," Cinna says. I give him a hug before he leaves.

"See you in a month," I say.

The Wedding

"Oh, Lily. You look so pretty," Octavia says, dabbing tears from her eyes.

"Thank you," I say. Cinna puts the veil in my hair, which is curled and pinned in a half ponytail. He walks around and gives me a bouquet of orange lilies with pearls in it.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

"Yes," I say. I'm kind of nervous though. Mom comes in and gives me a big hug. When she pulls away, she has tears in her eyes. Now tears are welling up in my eyes.

"Don't cry, mom," I say while dabbing tears from my eyes.

"Sorry. I just never thought this day would come," she says.

"Neither did I," I say, thinking back to five years ago when I was supposed to be killed in the arena.

"I'm so happy for you," mom says.

"Thank you," I say. Cinna goes off to get Gina, Rae, Annabelle, and Ava ready. Dad comes in and gives me a hug. Even he is tearing up. I wish everyone would quit crying.

A few minutes later, Cinna comes back with Annabelle, Ava, Rae, and Gina. They all look so pretty in their dresses. They tell us to come outside so they can take pictures. I thought eleven was pretty in the spring, but it's breathtaking in the fall. The wildflowers are still blooming, the tall grass is a beautiful golden brown, the air is the perfect temperature. Everything is so peaceful and so beautiful. We take pictures of me with pretty much everyone. Except Chandler. Apparently it's tradition for the groom not to see the bride before the wedding.

Just before we finish, two people that I don't know, a man and a woman, come out.

"You must be Lily," the woman says.

"Yes, and you are..." I say.

"We're Chandler's parents. We're going to surprise him," the woman says.

"Oh, that's so... sweet," I say, but I can't help but wonder why they haven't come sooner. Chandler's mom smiles.

"You're probably wondering why we didn't come sooner," she says. I nod. "We didn't know that you two were alive until about a month ago. Then we found out that you were getting married and we just thought... It would be nice to surprise Chandler." Her smile falls from her face and is replaced by a worried look. "You don't think he'll be mad, do you?"

"No, he'll be happy," I say, even though I can't guarantee he won't be angry.

"Good. Well, we better be going," she says. They walk away.

"And we better be going, too," Cinna says. We walk down the path along the river. We chose to get married in the field where Chandler proposed to me. It looks so pretty in the fall. It's the perfect place. Soft music begins to play. One by one, people start to walk down the isle. Soon, I'm behind Chandler's parents. They begin to walk down the isle. I peep around to see Chandler's expression. At first, he's confused, then his face lights up in one of those smiles that I love. He looks like he's contemplating running down the isle to them, but he doesn't. His parents take a seat, and the music changes. Everyone stands up, Dad and I link arms and begin the slow walk down the isle. A smile spreads across my face as I look into the eyes of the man that will be my husband in just minutes.

"Chandler, do you take Lily to be your wife?"

"I do."

"Lily, do you take Chandler to be your husband?"

"I do."

"You may kiss the bride."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Mr. and Mrs. Newcome!"

Everyone cheers loudly as we make our way back down the isle. The next place we will go is to our new house, where we will have the toasting. It's an old tradition from twelve that we both really wanted to do. Our marriage wouldn't seem complete without it.

Mom and dad lead the traditional song as we enter our house. We taught Annabelle, Ava, Gina, and Rae the song so mom and dad wouldn't be the only ones that are singing. Chandler's parents know the song, too, so they join in.

We toast our bread in the fire and feed each other a piece. Now we feel officially married. Chandler and I go immediately to his parents. His mom and dad both tear up as they hug him.

"How did you get here?" Chandler asks.

"We didn't even know you were alive until a month ago. When we found out you two were getting married we decided to surprise you and come."

"I just can't believe you're here. I thought you both had died."

"Nope, we're very much alive. Now what have we missed in the past five years?" Chandler grimaces.

"The day after Kingsman let us out, they announced that there would be four tributes per district, that the victor's name would be left in the reaping, and that they would start having two games a year. The reaping was the next day, and..." he trails off.

"Oh, no did one of you get picked?" his mom says.

"Both of us. And Gina, Rae, and Annabelle," he says.

"Then how..." his mom says, her eyes darting between the two of us.

"The living victors killed Kingsman and got ten of us out of the arena," he says. For a moment, his parents stand there with there mouths open, speechless. Then, his mom bursts into tears. Chandler hugs her and tells her not to cry.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just can't believe we left you."

"It's okay, mom. You did the right thing."

"We should've waited for you."

"You didn't know if I was going to come back." His mom wipes her eyes.

"You guys go talk to everyone else," his dad says.

We go around and talk to everyone for a while. After eating some cake, which my dad made, we leave for our honeymoon. My parents wanted to surprise us with the destination, so we have no clue where it is. But I don't care where it is. As long as I'm with my husband and best friend, it will be perfect.


	53. No Matter What

**I'm sorry to say that this is the last chapter. I want to say a quick thank you to all of my reviewers, especially 11021, my 100th reviewer, and to all of you who have read this. I hope you like the ending!**

**Also, I apologize it took so long to post this and that it skips around so much. **

**Without further ado, the last chapter.**

_I'm in a white room. Just feet away, she lays on the ground. Why is she on the ground? She shouldn't be there. I run forward to pick her up, but I hit a hard wall, causing me to fall to the ground. I hit the wall and call for her, but she can't hear me. A door opens on the other side and four peacekeepers come in wielding whips and clubs. Kingsman follows them, an evil grin on his face. I pound the wall and scream. The peacekeepers raise their whips and clubs and bring them down on her. I scream and the top of my lungs for them to stop, but they don't even glance my way. Eventually, they step away. The wall disappears and I run to her side. It's no use though. She's gone._

I wake up with a sharp cry. My hands immediately fly to the bump on my stomach. Still there. This brings some relief, but I can't shake the image of the baby, my baby, being killed by Kingsman. Chandler wraps his arms around me.

"Shh, it's okay," he says.

"They killed her," I say, my voice quivering

"She's okay. Still safe." He pats the bump on my stomach. It took six years for me to agree to have a baby. Even still, I'm worried about what might happen if... I can't even bear to think about it. Chandler reassures me every day that our baby girl will be safe, that no one will be take her away from us. I try to believe him, but still, I worry. Sometimes it seems like that's all I do. Worry, worry, worry. I worry about the games coming back, if our baby will be safe, if I'll have nightmares, if Chandler will have nightmares, if I'll blank out when I wake up, how I'm going to teach our baby about the games without terrifying her. Worry, worry, worry. That's one of the things I love about Chandler. He helps me not to worry as much.

As I fall back asleep, I try to think about what our little girl will look like. Long, curly brown hair, deep blue eyes. I can almost see her running through the tall grass, picking wildflowers. I fall asleep with that image in my mind.

5 years old

I wake up screaming from a terrible nightmare. They come less frequently now, but when they do come, they're worse than ever. They're always about someone or something taking my little girl. Chandler places his hands on my shoulders. I involuntarily pull away from his touch.

"It's just me," he says. I relax at the sound of his voice. I lay my head on his chest. His gently strokes my arm.

The door creeks open, causing both of us to jump. A tiny figure enters the room. My little girl.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing, sweetie. Why?" I ask.

"Why were you screaming?" she asks, coming closer to our bed. I'm at a loss for words. I can't say it's nothing. She'd know I'm lying. Thankfully, Chandler knows what to say.

"Mommy just had a bad dream," he says.

"Are you okay now?" she asks.

"I'm okay," I say. "Go back to sleep." She walks out of the room. I'm reminded that one day I'm going to have to tell her about the Games, about my nightmares. But when? And how? We have the book, and I'm sure my parents will help, but nothing will make it easy. Luckily, we have years until she'll start questioning us further. I hope, anyway. We'll wait until she's a lot older, at least thirteen, to tell her. That gives us at least eight years to decide how we'll tell her. I wish we could just not tell her at all, but they teach it in school. I'm not sure when, but I know they do. I want her to learn about the games from us first though. If she finds out from a teacher that her mom killed children... I don't even want to think about what she'd think of me. At least Chandler didn't kill anyone in the arena. Not that I'm aware of anyway. Hopefully she'll understand that I had to kill to survive, but if I was in her place, I wouldn't. I remember when mom and dad taught me about the games. I was horrified. It took a week for them to convince me that they had to do it. Maybe it will be the same way with Maggie. I hope not.

12 years old

"Mom, I have a letter for you to sign," Maggie says as soon as she walks in the door. She hands me a piece of paper. The words written on it fill me with dread.

_Dear Parents,_

_Starting on 3/23, we will be spending two weeks teaching children about the Hunger Games. We will be teaching them about what they were, how they began, how they ended, how they restarted, how they ended again, the victors, and the deceased. We will be ending the two weeks by watching the recap of the 74th Hunger Games. The video and lessons are graphic, therfore, we need the parents permission for children to attend this class._

_Yes, I give my child permission to attend the class __

_No, I do not give my child permission to attend the class __

_Yes, I give my child permission to watch the recap of the 74th Hunger Games__

_No, I do not give my child permission to watch the recap of the 74th Hunger Games__

_Signature:__

I sit down at the table and put my head in my hands. This isn't how this was supposed to happen. I didn't think they'd teach them at such a young age! And on such short notice.

"Mom, aren't you going to sign it?" Maggie asks.

"I don't know," I say. Sign, don't sign, sign, don't sign.

"It's not that big of a deal. It's just a class," she says.

"It's more than that, honey. Let me talk to your dad about it," I say. Maggie shrugs and goes into the living room. I walk upstairs and knock on the door of Chandler's office.

"Come in," he says. I open the door and walk in with the letter. Chandler opens his mouth to greet me, but when he sees the worried expression on my face, he asks, "What's going on?"

"We got a letter from Maggie's school today," I say, pulling a spare chair over to his desk.

"Why? Is she misbehaving or something?" he asks.

"I wish." I pass him the letter. His eyes widen as he reads the letter. "What are we supposed to do?" I ask. He takes a deep breath. I know what he's going to say. And I don't like it.

"We have to tell her."

We stay up all night deciding how to tell her. I recite the whole speech so many times I could say it in my sleep. Nothing we can do will fully prepare us to tell her, but we can at least try. We called mom and dad yesterday and they agreed to help us, or at least be there for support. Dad is bringing some of the pictures he painted of the Games, so that we can show her and tell her. They're coming over at noon. We eat lunch first. Maggie immediately notices that we're quieter than usual.

"What's going on?" she asks after we're done and we're all sitting in the living room. I take a deep breath and prepare to give the speech, but no words come out. I look at Chandler. He nods.

"We have some important things to tell you," he starts. "There are some... things... we've been keeping from you."

"You know how you got that letter about the Hunger Games..." I say.

"Yeah, what about it?" Maggie asks.

"Well... we thought we'd teach you about it first," I say. The speech went out the window exactly two seconds ago.

"Why? They can just teach me at school," Maggie says.

"Yes, but... We need you to hear our side first," I say. Maggie gives all four of us a confused look. I take a deep breath and begin.

"The Hunger Games began after the Dark Days as a punishment for the districts. What happened was twenty-four children, a boy and a girl from each district, were chosen at random and sent to fight to death on live television." Maggie gasps.

"They had to kill each other?" she asks. I nod.

"Only one of the twenty-four came out. They were given a house in the Victor's Village and more than enough money for them and their entire family. Their district received a monthly delivery of food for a year." I can't go on. Mom picks up for me.

"Every twenty-five years, they had a special version of the Games called a Quarter Quell. Each one had a special twist added to it. In the first one, they had to vote on who would enter the Games. In the second one, four tributes were sent in from each district, and in the third..." she trails off.

"In the third, the victors had to go back in," dad says for her. "In the sevent-fourth Hunger Games, grandma and I were chosen to go in." Maggie's eyes widen.

"Then how..." she asks, her eyes darting between mom and dad.

"I'm getting to that," dad says. He starts to explain the Pre-games events like the opening ceremonies and the interviews, stopping to show her pictures occasionally. Then he and mom tell her about the actual games. The bloodbath, mom dropping the tracker Jacker nest on the careers, dad saving mom's life, mom allying with Rue and blowing up the food, mom killing the boy from one, mom singing to Rue and covering her with flowers, the gamemakers announcing that there could be two victors, mom finding dad, mom druging him to go to the feast, mom almost getting killed, but having her life spared by Thresh, how Foxface eating the nightlock berries, the mutts, Cato's bloody death, the gamemakers announcing that there could only be one winner, and both of them almost commiting suicide.

To my relief, Maggie handles the stories pretty well. A lot better than I did. We go on into the Quarter Quell.

"In the seventy-fifth games, the one where the victors had to go back in, grandma and I were chosen again," dad says. Maggie gasps. Mom and dad tell her about how dad said mom was pregnant, how the arena was a clock, how they allied with Finnick and Mags, how Mags sacrificed her life for dad, how the monkeys attacked them, how they allied with Johanna, Wiress, and Beetee, how the jabberjays played the screams of their loved ones, and ultimately, how they blew up the arena and got a few of the tributes out, and how the Capitol got Johanna, Peeta, and Enobaria.

"Is that how the rebellion started?" Maggie asks.

"In a way," mom says.

"What did the Capitol do to grandpa?" There's a moment of silence.

"I'd prefer not to talk about it," dad says. Maggie nods.

"About thirty years later, a man named Kingsman took over and started the games again," I say. "That's when I went in."

"Oh, no. Not you too," Maggie says. I nod, and start telling her about the events of my games. I get choked up telling her about the little red-haired girl and Orion.

"I'm so sorry," she says after I'm done. "That's horrible."

"It's not done yet," I say sadly. "After that, Kingsman told me he wasn't going to take my name out of the reaping and basicly guarunteed that I'd be going in again." Maggie gasps. "He decided to put in four tributes per district, too. He put in my best friend, her little brother, and... dad." Both of us tell her about those games, and how the living victors captured Kingsman, got ten of us out of the arena, and killed Kingsman.

"And that's why we have nightmares," I say. We agreed to leave out the part about Chandler and I being tortured by the Capitol. Maggie hugs all four of us.

"Do you think you want to go to the class?" Chandler asks.

"Yes," Maggie says.

"Do you want to watch the video? It's of grandma and grandpa's first games," I say. She thinks about this for a minute.

"Yes. I think I do," she says after a minute.

"It's really graphic," I warn her.

"I can handle it," she says. There's a note of uncertainty in her voice, though. I take the permission form and sign it. She puts it in her backpack. Mom and dad leave. I think both of them are having a hard time keeping it together.

"You're not upset that we killed people?" I ask her.

"No. You did what you had to do. It's the Capitol's fault they died, not yours," she says. I pull her into my arms. Chandler wraps his arms around both of us. "I love you no matter what," she whispers.

_THE END_

**If you're wondering why I chose the name Maggie, it's because it means pearl. Please vote in my poll to decide who's POV my next story will be on. The leader is still Prim, but Foxface is a close second. Thank you to everyone, and I hope you enjoyed the story!**


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